My daughters father and i arent together and recently i have been having trouble with his family, mainly his mother, she has called me non stop and made comments to people that i neglect my child just despite me. she knows this is not true and i know that she knows it she is just angry and being childish. they have not given me any financial support nor have they been there for me emotianally through this. they have bashed me constantly and now they wonder why i wont let emma stay w them on the weekends. i am wanting to write them a letter, being very nice and just basically telling them until they help support her financially they will be able to see her and in order for them to get respect u must give respect.
2007-10-04 02:08:40 · 11 answers · asked by emma_love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
tacky? whats tacky is that they basically kidnapped her from daycare and kept her away from me for over 3 hours and would not tell me where she was at. after i said i was getting the police involved they decided to bring her to me.
and i am 18 years old, her dad is 19, if he wont get a job and support his child his parents need to quit taking up for his stupid *** and help out theirselves. they didnt even get her anything for her bday, not even a phone call or a card/.
i talked to her dad about doing child support but he said "f" word that ill just give up my rights, so i thought okay fine. but his parents bash me and say trhat brad is still young he doesnt know what to do. so i say well hell then why dont u step up and help take care of her!
2007-10-04 02:27:37 · update #1
My thoughts:
Check the laws in your state and find out the following
1. If your ex signs off on her as a parent is he still responsible for her financiall?
2. Can your inlaw petition the court for visitation rights as grandparents?
3. How do you get a restraining order for harassment on them?
I would stay as far away from these people as possible and not send any letter to them. You have enough going on with out needing any drama from them. I would check out on line the laws for your state as you will be in a better position as to know how you can get them to leave you and baby alone.
2007-10-04 05:38:14 · answer #1 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi..
Your inlaws are "taking sides" in your separation from your partner... and they are putting their nose where it doesn't belong. The problems you have with your partner are between YOU and your partner, not you and your partner's family.
This being said, your inlaws do not owe you financial support. I do not understand why you expect it? The child's father needs to pay support, NOT the in laws. It's up to you and her father to take care of your daughter... no one else.
It's nice when we get a little help now and then, but demanding money is odd...
Giving you money isn't a sign of respect, either
Hon, if your in laws are bashing you, then you are just going to have to accept the fact that they are acting a little NUTTY. Gather your dignity and act like a lady. IGNORE their bashing and comments...
Don't write them a letter. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing what they are saying and doing. And giving them "conditions" about giving money in exchange for seeing their granddaughter is sort of like a con job, or blackmail.
If you need financial assistance, ASK for it... others will help if they can.
And also, think about how you are allowing the in laws to control your emotions. You can't fix or control other people -- so it does no good to get all riled up over what others do... do what YOU think is right in your own life. Live and let live... and control your own moods and emotions... it's not healthy to let others get to you.
take care... and maybe consider some therapy to get you through this. it might help.
2007-10-04 02:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First thing, take a deep breath and try to see that it's probably not something that you can change through confrontation. I also don't think it's a good idea for you to withhold your daughter from her family simply because you're having issues with them. If your MIL is calling simply to be a pain then ask her flat out what it is that she wants and if it's not important then tell her that you're very busy taking care of your daughter and you need to get off of the phone. As far as the rumors, the truth will shine through. If you're being a good mom, and you're giving your children everything that they require then people will see that.
Also, why do you feel that your ex's family needs to support you financially? They did not bring your daughter into this world, you and your ex did. It is not their responsibility to help you, all though it would be nice if they chose to. You need to find a support system of your own, and you need to do what it takes to support your daughter financially and emotionally because she needs to come first.
As long as your MIL isn't going to harm your daughter in any way then it's not your job to sever that relationship. If they were important to your daughter before then they still will be. She has all ready lost her father, so why take the rest of her family away from her, too?
2007-10-04 02:23:18 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You seem to be expecting WAY too much from your former husband's family. If your husband is not paying support as the court ordered, you should take him to court.
As to denying his parents visitation with their Granddaughter, I think you will find that in the long run you are doing more harm to your daughter than good. Grandparents can be an essential part to a child's development. You should seriously reconsider this decision.
2007-10-04 02:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not your in laws responsibility to help you out financially. It is their sons. You shouldn't keep them from your child because he's not paying. Because of the MIL bashing you, I would most definitely say something to her. That would be the reason I would keep my child away, but not because they don't help financially. If she wants to see her granddaughter it should be more important to her to stop running her mouth so she is able to. If you want financial help take the father to court, but I would stop expecting money from his parents. They didn't conceive the child you and the father did.
2007-10-04 02:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you get a lawyer go to court and get what you deserve.....as for letting your daughter see or stay at your inlaws let her when her father has her...as for your mother in law running her mouth you can tell her were to go (if you know what i mean) or you can ignore it cause it sounds like she is more of a child then your daughter
2007-10-04 02:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-07 05:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by larrinaga 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for 1 hes an adult he has to support his child not his family support her... its called being adults and living in the real world. take his sorry tail to court for child support. his family will stay by him cause that is his family. your support group is your family. you have to be an adult and do whats best for your child. theres no rule that says his family has to see your child. thats between him and them. you need to be a parent and think of your child . as for them signing her out of daycare you need to tell daycare no one signs her out but you unless you say other wise. good luck.
2007-10-04 04:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
go to court & try to get child support
& ignore them
don't send them any letters coz they might use it against you
oh & if they take your child again without your permission call the police
2007-10-04 03:31:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just take her father to court and get child support?
Leave his family alone - don't write the letter, that's just stooping to their level, they could use it against you later.
2007-10-04 02:13:38 · answer #10 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋