Why are some people just plain obnoxious?

Question

My next door neighbor is loud,nosy,lazy,bossy,
materialistic,etc...and I have gotten to the point where I avoid her now.
Why don't people like this KNOW how annoying they are and try to change so that they will get along better with others?!

Elvis--I am doing well,thanks.
Hope you are too:-)

'KD'--A bit harsh on me,don't you think?!

Hmmm--you seem a bit defensive.Are YOU my neighbor?lol

Answer 1

Sunshine,
unfortunately this is something that seems to be more prevalent by the day in numbers of cities and crosses multitudes of different people. This "obnoxiousness" in my perspective is the result of how the world revolves around "ME" and "MEism" types of people. Sounds like this neighbor of yours could use an afternoon or evening or two working the soup lines in some shelter. Again, unfortunately the people that could use the experience the most in those environments never seem to make "their way to the soup lines for assistance."

Avoidance is likely the most prudent thing you could do for your own sanity. I say "Good for you!" If this person sticks their nose where it doesn't belong to you again I would suggest (in the most diplomatic way possible) that you inform them that you think they are a snob. However, this is not intended to make things worse for you - only provide the opportunity for this "person" to keep away and provide you with peace of mind.

Best of luck on this neighborly jerk,

Gerry :)

Answer 2

Being an obnoxious adult is one thing; being an obnoxious kid is another. A couple of months ago I called my daughter's friend out for lying to me, manipulating situations when she came round and for blaming my daughter when she'd done something bad. The mother came and had a go at ME!!! 3 months on and I'm still waiting for my apology. Stupid b*tch can't even see when her daughter is lying and manipulating HER...so I fear I have no chance.

I hate obnoxious kids, but I hate ignorant parents more. If my daughter had done the same things to someone else, I would have been mortified, embarrassed, and straight onto the dishing-out of punishments!

Answer 3

A lot of it seems, in my experience to be a smoke screen. They act tough etc because they have insecurities, and feel the need to be "obnoxious" in order to make themselves feel better about themselves.

You cannot change people and unless they are council neighbours causing a nuiscance there is nothing you can do about them if it is sour grapes.

Do what you are doing and avoid confrontation.

Just one question. Ask yourself this. Are you, yourself perfect? If you reckon you are, then you will have the answer to your original question. Why do you not change?

If you reckon you are perfect - then you are deluded. We all have our irritating habits.

Answer 4

I know where you are coming from! There is one woman who I try to avoid like the plague! She can make a sailor blush with all the fowl words she uses. She does not care where she is at or who is around, every other word is bad! I do not swear - and hate to be around those who use those kinds of words like breathing air. I have come to the conclusion that the next time I run into her I am going to confront her and tell her how I feel. If what I say makes her mad, oh well, it appears that she does not care what she says makes other people uneasy.

Answer 5

sometimes difficult as it may seem, you need to say all of the above to your neighbour..... if she cant hear the truth and doesn't like it, then only good will come of it, she'll keep away from you and stop annoying you.

my neighbours on one side are lovely, the ones on the other side are a nightmare..... moan moan moan. one day she told me to not let my child in the garden between 2 and 5pm as her husband sleeps ( my daughter is 16 months)...... I told her to go into her house and very quickly before I jumped over the fence and plonked her in her kitchen. we haven't spoken since...... It feels wonderful. at least we now both know, we dont like one another. Honesty is the best policy sometimes.

Answer 6

I have moved several times during my fifty years of marriage and have always had lovely neighbours EXCEPT once when we had the most horrible obnoxious old man you could ever imagine.At first we thought we had done something to upset him but it soon turned out he had fallen out with everyone in the village, and had been asked to leave the old peoples club. He just couldn't help himself. We dealt with it by ignoring him completely which only seemed to wind him up, you couldn't win.Just keep your beautiful eye on her.

Answer 7

1. it's not them it us! we have no patiences or understanding of there kind!

2. because not everyone is the same some don't know how stupid and obnoxious they really are.

3. some like to be them selfs reguardless of who wants them to change!

4. some are anit social and only care about themselfs!

5. we can't change them ! no matter what we do! errrrr... but we can change how we look at it by having patiences and not being near them we can avoid them and ingnore them too! What else can we do to not let others get under our skin!
be goal focused if you really think about it and your motivated nothing else matters when your on a Mission!!!
if you do wonder off and don't keep focus then i guess the goal isn't really that super close to you! or me or whoever~

Answer 8

Some people are just like that. Maybe she is doing it on purpose, just to annoy you. Maybe she is lonely and wants a friend...not the best way to go about it, I know, but some people don't know any other way to get attention.

Answer 9

You've answered your own question: Because they don't know any better.
If they knew how they are behaving, then they would know what to change.

My friend's great grandmother once said to him and it has become one of my "words to live by": "People don't know they are the way they are unless someone tells them." Very, very logical.

We can't read minds and we can't expect everyone to know what we are thinking either. People take their own experiences then project them onto others then get upset when others aren't the same as them.
Of course others aren't going to be the same as you! They haven't lived your life and they don't have the same experiences as you and you don't have the same experiences as them.

Do you work for this person? If not, why do you care that they are 'materialistic' or 'bossy' or nosey?

Materialistic and you aren't? So what? Does she have access to your bank account and she's blowing all your money on new cars, new clothes and new gadgets?

Bossy? Is she coming over to your house and tellling you how to live your life? If the answer is no and she isn't hurting you or your loved ones then it isn't any of your business.

Nosey? Does she poke her head over the fence or peer through the keyhole? Is she a curtain twitcher? Does she come out of her house when you get home and ask you deeply personal things such as: "Who was that in your bed last night?"

Lazy? Does she work for you? Have you given her a task and she is being paid by you or is she on a team where it is important that she pulls her weight? Is it her job to rake the leaves away from the front of the houses and she doesn't bother?

What we say about others is what we say about ourselves.

Now think long and hard how loud, nosey, lazy, bossy and materialistic she is.

Answer 10

sometimes people are really born or reared to be such and there is nothing you can do about it and i cannot blame you for trying to avoid them because same thing i will do. the sad part of this is that a lot of time they really don't know how obnoxious they are.