This guy on the bus, i don't know what's wrong with him, but he keeps asking me for the time, all the time?xx.

Question

Right, I get on the bus every day to get home from school at around 12.30 (half noon). And it is like a 25-minute ride home. Well when I get on the bus, I always walk to the back (i get claustrophobic if lots of people are round me.)
Anyway i sit at the back and there was this guy there. He Couldn't stop staring. I turned round and looked round at him a bit. He said, "Do you have the time, please?"
I smiled and said "No, sorry." We kept looking at each other because he kept staring for about 4-5 seconds. Then he eventually said, "Oh..." -staring-, "Okay.." he then smiled.
Now everytime I get on the bus he asks me for the time. He chucked money at me once, I said i didn't want it, but he put it in my coat pocket.
Once he came and sat next to me at the back so i was against the window, then the bus turned round and he fell on me delibrately, i was smudged up against the window and he stayed on me like 10 seconds after the bus had gone right again! It freaks me out..

and everytime i see him he asks me for the time then once i was texting someone and then he peered over and looked at my text!
He stares at me constantly., and when i look back, he smiles. It freaks me out, he's like.. 21 or something and im 14. he looks and acts a lot younger though so hes probably about 18. but in the UK we wear school uniform so he knows that im only 14. i tried sitting at the front of the bus but he sat next to me. and then when i got off he followed me once and walked quite a bit behind me,. i stopped and asked him why he's following me and he looked at me as if he didnt know. then i said i was going to my friends house and i did and then he walked off in the opposite direction. whats up with this guy?
i think he might have special needs or something cos he just acts like it. ??

Answer 1

I don't want to scare you... and I could be wrong, but...

I believe he IS stalking. Not just you, but anyone who fits his target profile.

It is common for predators to select bus routes, because they have more victims to choose from and can usually approach them without drawing suspicion. The reason he asks the time so often is probably because he is familiarizing himself with your (and other passengers') schedules (sometimes the predator finds it a kick to get a potential victim to help him with his "work").

When he followed you after the ride, he was doing the same thing... plotting your route and schedule. Such predators will gather lots of information so that they can plot where and when to attempt their crimes. This also gives them the opportunity to select choice victims (those they can victimize more easily).

The small, not-quite-illegal, acts on the bus are strategic ways to predict how you would act when more serious infractions are forced upon you. He is testing the water. Like squishing you up against the window when you knew it was not necessary, was a way to see how much struggle you would put up if he needs to hold you down. He's identifying weaknesses, like any predator.

The money is a sycophantic attempt to gain your trust and look like a friend, so he can catch you off guard later. This also makes it easier for the disturbed individual to imagine a fantasy relationship with you (common stalker behavior).

DO NOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY! Avoid him like the plague, and DO NOT confront him directly! Instead, tell your parents, friends, bus driver, and the police. Change your route and routine randomly for a little while, but avoid ANY unpopulated areas. If you cannot take a different bus, or he shows up on your new bus, have a parent or older friend ride the bus with you to help deter him from YOU as a victim, or at least to aid in identifying the man.

The problem is, his behavior thus far can be claimed as innocent, so it will make it difficult for the police to do anything about him until he commits a REAL crime. DO NOT LET THIS DETER YOU FROM CONTACTING THE POLICE! Most predators are repeat offenders, so he might already be wanted for other crimes. If he is not, at least the police will be alerted to his questionable activity... and have a record of it (be sure to ask for a copy of the police report -- the complaint information can be used to build a case if it continues). This could also be useful to seek a conviction if he victimizes someone else. Use the buddy system when traveling your daily route; predators are MUCH less likely to pursue a potential victim that has back-up.

ABOVE ALL ELSE... DO NOT DISMISS THIS PROBLEM! And do not procrastinate its resolution. It will not go away on its own, and will most likely escalate if ignored.

It is a POSSIBILITY that he has special needs, but this seems in odds with his behavior. Special people (especially ones that young) are usually monitored by adults, and particular notice is taken when they are not where they should be. Also, he put money into your pocket. The fact that he had money is not the flag (as many special people have money), but he stuffed the money into your pocket as a way to tactfully force the money on you when you rejected it, leaving no opportunity for argument. This indicates the capacity for advanced social techniques that would be VERY atypical for one of special needs. I would surmise that the behavior you perceived as possibly "special", was just simple distraction; he may have been thinking about his future crime to the point that all other direct communication attempts seem hollow or disorganized -- like when people try to carry on multiple conversations at once. This is a common occurrence with stalkers, who usually suffer from other deep-seated personality disorders that are markedly amplified when in the presence of potential victims.

As I stated earlier, I could be wrong. If I am, however, there is no harm in taking these simple steps to avoid the situation... but if I'm right... these steps could help you avoid being his next victim.

Seek out your local victim outreach program or violent crime prevention association for additional information.

Good luck, I hope this helps.

P.S.:
I am not sure of the applicable UK laws on sexual predators and stalking, but here in the States, sexual predators are required to register with the local police and automatically will appear on local and national sexual predator lists… which include photos. Find out if there is such a listing in your area and check it for his face. If nothing less, you will find out if he is a known past-offender.

Answer 2

1. buy him a watch (or don't he may take that as a love gift!)
2. call him out ( it takes a backbone)
3. ask him to leave you alone (he can't read minds moreso if he is wacky)
4. if he don't leave you alone after you ask him to then ask some supervisor and tell them the sistuation! tell them how uncomforable you feel and what you should do.
5. Get an adult to watch over you untill you find out the intentions with this wacko!

6. give it time he could just be hard up for friends and if acts like this all the time you can only tell he is wanting some sort of interaction with some one

7. don't be to nice!

Answer 3

If I were you I'd suggest to him that he buy a watch with the money that he was trying to give you.

Be careful with this guy. Tell your parents about him. Maybe they can have a talk with him and the bus driver. He sounds like he may be up to something. Don't trust him.

Answer 4

Telll the busdriver, your parents or guardian and the police about it. Also have a friend with u at all times on that bus. Maybe carry mace. And remember a man's weak spot is his manhood if push comes to shove give the guy a good hard kick there.

Answer 5

Please be careful of that perv. The thing for you to do is to tell the driver or if you don't feel that's an option, call the bus transportation office right away. Don't let this continue by any means. -Former PD and concerned dad with a baby girl your age.

Answer 6

He's a freak. Stay clear of him and keep to the front of the bus. If he keeps pushing, you might want to make a small "scene". Tell him, somewhat loudly, to leave you alone. That will attract some attention and should send him packing. At 21 year old should not be bothering a 14 year old for anything.

Answer 7

What a frightening situation! I suspect you're right and he may have "special needs"; but I also suspect that there may be more to him than only that. His behaviour toward you is absolutely menacing. It is wrong and, here in the US, illegal, for someone to "stalk" someone else. His behaviour certainly qualifies as stalking.
First tell your parents (or another adult with authority in your life) that a 21-year-old guy is following you and trying to give you money. Give them the details of this fellow's behaviour. At the very least, this man needs to be warned off by the police.

Answer 8

There may be something wrong with him, or he might just be silly. But, I'd advise you to be careful around him. He might be a sexual predator. I would get some pepper spray and keep it on me all the time. Keep your eye on this guy.

Answer 9

First thing you gotta do, tell your parents about it, he's a goddamn sexOholic looking for some... next time he does anything, aim for the crotch, with full force punch it, show no mercy... Dont worry, nothing will happen to you, tell the driver what he was doing... Or better still inform your local police station, tell them about all this, the guy needs to be jailed.

Answer 10

If this guy is bothering you the next time you get off the bus, report him to the authorites, after you get a good look at him. He has no business on that bus and he could be getting you into trouble, even when he shoved that money into your pocket, also it may be a good idea to report it to the driver of that bus as well.