how can i change my sister????

Question

my sister is about to turn 11...and shes a big pain!!! i love her more then anything but its just that we NEVER get along!
I knw ppl would say that yr elder and this type of stuff happens to every elder sibling...but she takes my stuff and gives it to her friends as gifts..she takes (steals) my money...she on purposes breaks my things..whenever i go to spend a day at my friends place and come back home my room is a freakin mess, she opens my cupboards and wears my new clothes and shoes and ruins them!Some times we also get into physical fights...which i dont like at all.. mostly i get beaten up coz i dnt hit her coz shes just a small kid!i have tried talking to her but it isnt working at all...she lies to me about everything and blames every little thing on me! every body takes her side coz shes younger den me and cuter!!!i get yelled at all the time even if it wasnt my fault!

ppl plzz dnt say dat its bad parenting coz my parents r seriously realy good parents..or else they wudnt have raised me to be a good person..the problem is that my sis gets mostly spoiled by my granparents,aunts and uncles coz she da youngest in da family....i hvnt disscused it wid my parents coz dey hv already got enough problems..both my parents work and come home late dey both get realy tired..my father had a heart attack about 8 months ago dats y i dont disscus dis problem wid him as he may get more stressed..my mother tries to explain 2 my ister but she jus wont listen...may b we need proffesinal help..?????????????

Answer 1

You need to find a place to LOCK up your valuable things and money.

And you also need to enforce rules about your things...

Sometimes our younger siblings act out like this because they want our attention. Negative attention is sometimes better than none at all.

Perhaps you might take a couple hours out of every week and do something with your sister? Such as, for an hour one night, play a game... and for an hour another night, go for a walk or ask her if there is something she'd like to do. If this works and she is happy about spending a little time together, then you can PLAN to do something a couple times a week... and... you can let your sister know this:

I would love to spend time with you and do things which make you happy... If you can behave, and ASK when you want to borrow something of mine, then i will be happy to continue our "sister time" together...

I think if you share your life with her a little, she might start to change? Try it.

And also, i'm sorry your father had a heart attack. And i hope he recovers well.... Hon, dealing with you kids isn't going to give him another heart attack.. he is the parent and if you have something to talk about, and want help in solving a problem ASK your parents..... it doesn't have to be stressful. Sometimes we need advice and for someone to listen. If our parents can't take the time to be helpful, who will?

Take care and i hope you get some good answers here.

Answer 2

From a parent of a 11yr old and a 17 yr old, it sounds to me like your sister is trying to get more attention from you. I do not condone that stealing your things is right, I am not adding that your parents have failed as parents, but, what I am saying is that as you get older you are interested in ' older ' things, friends, and it looks and sounds to me that your sister is 1. wanting to follow in your footsteps but also 2. is showing to you that this is Her way of spending time with you. I know that sounds odd, but, little kids show their love in different ways and this might be her way of doing so.

Instead of yelling at her, or sitting down and talking with her, try spending some quality time with her. This just may stop her destruction of your property.

It's worth a shot ... and tell her repeatly that You Love Her !
It may not change her instantly, but, in the long run will do Wonders !!

Answer 3

Wow, I am sorry for you. This sounds like a bad situation. Have you talked to your parents/guardians about this? Perhaps you can ask for a lock for your door? I would definitely try to have a family meeting to discuss this (calmly) with your parents. I do not think she should be taking your things and messing up your room. Perhaps you can talk it over at a family meeting and have a list of things you would like to be respected. Do not yell at the meeting, but present your points like a mature person. Tell them that you and your things deserve respect, but that you do not feel you are getting it. Maybe if you all put your minds together, you can do something to reverse the damage. It sounds like your sister needs boundaries. If your parents won't listen, perhaps you can have a contract with your sister, where if she does stop doing certain things, you will take her to a movie, lunch, play a game with her, etc... enforce good behavior and reward it for her. Praise her for good behavior and do something to show her your appreciate it.
Good luck with this one...

Answer 4

She is jealous of her big sister and wants to be like you.
That is why she wears your clothes.
The stealing part is poor parenting. She has not been taught that lying/stealing is just plain wrong. At age 11 it will be difficult to instill values that should have been there a long time ago.

You cannot change her. She must see that it is to her advantage to change herself. If you can, install locks on your cabinets, get a large trunk for other things and padlock it.

It is too bad that your parent has not taught your sister some basic values for living. Sister is in for big trouble as she gets older. She will be lying to everyone, not just you, because she has not been taught that it is wrong

Answer 5

Lock your cupboard. Keep her in her place, dont equalise yourself with her. The more familar we get with people the more they will disrespect us. Hold your place and talk to her less. Suggest to your parents you need a lock to your cupboard. If possible it would be nice if you could have your own bedroom. Sheis just jealous of you for some reason and its also her age that is making her irrational and weird. You are elder, show her who is the boss and she will respect you.

Answer 6

You could either put a video camera in your room to show whats shes doing. Some advice would be to not try and change your sister but try to change yourself. Adjust yourself to her age group and act like her and give her "a taste of her own medicine"

Answer 7

Ask your parents about getting a lock for your room and tell them it would decrease the problems I have no idea how to change someone but that should help a bit.

Answer 8

Sister & Brother Relationship

Dear you, I seriously think that if she is your sister its because thats who God decided for you to have as a sibling, she is still young she will probably out grow all that just bare with it, later in life either you or her will be married and will notice that you will miss each other, she will change...just watch.

McAllen, Texas

Answer 9

I personally would beat her @$$. (jk) Anyway...Sometimes my little brothers bother me to. I feel that if she hits you & gets away with it there is a problem. It seems like she doesn't respect you. She is going to keep doing it reguardless. Unless, you put a little fear in her heart. Then she would know not to mess with you.