My sister asks me to be her bridesmaid. So she knows quite well that I have a boyfriend, whom I've been with for 6 years. Yet she wants me to go with another groomsman who is her fiance's friend. I'm confused. Is that normal? Will my boyfriend be upset by this? It just doesn't sound proper to me. Any thoughts?
2007-10-03 19:44:03 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yup! That's perfectly normal. It's not like you're going out with him or something. It's just for wedding purposes. Just last month, my bestfriend got married and she paired me up with her fiancee's cousin. My boyfriend was also there because we've both known the bride since we were seven. All the bridesmaids had to get ready in the hotel with the bride and we all took a limo together to the church. The bridal party also took the same limo to the reception. The couple also had a presidential table where all the bridal party sat together. The only time I was able to join my boyfriend was after the main course was served. He was fine with it though. My friend knew it's gonna be awkward for him so she asked me to tell my bf to bring someone with him. His sister came with us so he didn't get bored or feel left out. He said he even had fun although he kinda missed me, lol... Btw, there's this superstition in the Philippines that bf-gf should not be paired in the bridal party or else they will not end up together. It's just a superstition though.=) Hope this helps.=)
2007-10-03 20:00:35 · answer #1 · answered by eLektra513 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The point of the bridesmaids and groomsmen is for those people closest to the bride and groom to stand up for them when they say their vows. It is an honor to be asked to play this part. Regardless of your current boyfriend...unless the groom...or even bride...feel they want to bestow the same honor on him, odds are high that you will be escorted by someone else they have chosen. It is completely proper and it has been done at every wedding I have attended...and been a bridesmaid in. My fiance was not asked to be a groomsman in that wedding. He was not upset by it and I would hope your boyfriend will understand this as well. Besides, the only role you have to play with the groomsman is that you get escorted out of the ceremony by him...and then possibly have one dance with him if there is the typical reception format. After that, you can spend the rest of the time with your boyfriend.
2007-10-04 01:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by Kim 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you are a bridesmaid and your boyfriend isn't a groomsmen, then you should walk with the groomsman during the recessional, and possibly dance with him if there is a grand march and that is what your sister wants, however, it is ok to dance the grand march with your boyfriend, if that is ok with your sister. Your boyfriend should be your date to the wedding, not the groomsman. If your sister is trying to "set you up with him, it isn't appropriate, since you are in a relationship. Your boyfriend should understand that you are a part of this wedding and there may be times you have to walk with or dance with the groomsman, but for the majority of the night, you should be able to be with your boyfriend, especially after the ceremony, the pictures, and the first few dances. Best wishes!
2007-10-04 04:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by LoveWithNoBoundaries 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is veryyy normal. You are only there as a bridesmaid its not like you are marrying or sleeping with the man. Your boyfriend should not be mad about anything. Now if you are attracted to the groomsman or you two had something in the past then maybe he would be mad but if you don't know this man from a can of paint then there should be no reason he should be mad. IT'S A WEDDING FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
2007-10-04 02:40:36 · answer #4 · answered by OFFICIALLY MRS. HOWARD! 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Normally you sit with the bridal table (bride, groom, groomsmen, bridesmaids) during the meal and formal pert of the reception, and the first dance the bridesmaids and groomsmen dance together. However generally any partners are also invited to the reception and after the formal part of the evening you are able to spend the rest of the time together.
The only reason that may be stopping this is cost and thus numbers at the wedding, however this should apply to the others as well if this is the case.
I have not been to a wedding where the bridesmaids and groomsmen did not have their partners with them.
2007-10-03 20:00:49 · answer #5 · answered by Rational Thought 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course that's normal. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean that he should be a groomsman. At the ceremony, you will be paired up with a groomsman, you sit next to him at the dinner, and you might dance with him once. This is all typical and normal, and your boyfriend should most definately not be upset by this.
2007-10-04 03:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is the norm to be escorted by a groomsman who is not your boyfriend. Sometimes bridesmaids are escorted by groomsmen that they do not even know.
You and your boyfriend are making a big deal out of nothing. Your boyfriend can attend the wedding as a guest. He can dance with you and spend time with you at the reception.
Your sister is asking you to walk up or down an aisle with someone. She is not asking you to start dating him. Get over it, and don't give your sis a hard time.
2007-10-04 00:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Suz123 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just because a groomsman is your partner/escort down the aisle after the ceremony, that does NOT imply a romantic attachment, or matchmaking, whatsoever.
Your boyfriend should still be your date at the reception (if you two have been a long term couple, your sister should be sure to invite him). The groomsman is only your ceremonial escort for like 4 minutes of the ceremony.
2007-10-04 03:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're just gonna be your sister's bridesmaid, not get married with the guy. There is a reason why your sister chose you as her bridesmaid, she cares for you and you she wants you to be part in her wedding. Your future brother-in-law probably feels the same for the groomsman. They chose the people who are important in their lives. Explain that to your boyfriend and make your sister happy in her day.
2007-10-03 19:57:49 · answer #9 · answered by Michua 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by "go with"?
If you mean go as dates and sit next to each other etc., it is strange. Your sister should be inviting your boyfriend so he can be your date (even though he is not an attendant).
If you mean walk down the aisle together, it is normal. Some attendants are single, some attached, others married-- but it is normal to walk down the aisle on the arm of the groomsman.
2007-10-03 21:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋