Why do people get so hostile about age gap relationships?

Question

I've heard so many rude and negative remarks about them lately, both here and in the real world.
Such as....
It's immoral
You're only in it for the sex
The older party is a pedophile
It is impossible for such a relationship to work
It's a waste of time
The younger party is only interested in the attention/money/gifts

Seriously, why do people get so judgmental about it? I understand that in some cases people are just in it for the attention, the money or the sex, but you get that in relationships where there isn't an age gap either.

After a certain point, age is not always a good gauge of mental and emotional development.

So why are some people so fond criticizing age gap relationships?

wbusykat4: Trust me...I posted in the correct category. THIS is the category where I hear so much criticism of such relationships. People claim it's immoral...this is the correct category to discuss morality.
Also, for me, relationships are closely incorporated with Spirituality.

Geezah: I think some people missed the point of your answer. You're right, cultural perspective is a big influence, and I realise you are not justifying pedophillia

I'm happy with the relationship, I just honestly don't understand why some people are so resentful of these kind of relationships.

20 years old and 38 years old

Answer 1

It's a cultural thing, largely due to how our educational system and economy is set up.

200 years ago it wasn't all that taboo to get married at 15 to a 30-something. But now, because of when people get schooled, when they go into the work force, the fact that people tend to only bond and find pop-culture interests with people their own age, etc. it's rather taboo.

Mind you, I'm not trying to justify pedophilia. Just trying to put this in perspective. Also keep in mind that age gaps become less taboo the older the couple is. Nobody really cares about a 49 year old marriying a 41 year old, but somebody who's 22 and dating somebody who's 14 is another story.

Answer 2

A lot of it really depends on what 20 year old and what 38 year old.
I agree that once everyone involved is of legal age, its no ones business but their own.
But in some situations, I would really question how mature the 38 year old could be. Because there is very often a maturity gap in those ages. I'm not trying to disparage either person, but I do have a few friends that have dated at wide age gaps and it usually seems that if the gap is greater than 15 years,and one of the people is under 25, its a disaster.

Answer 3

I'm sorry but my brain is not wired to deal with ambiguous questions . Exactly how old are you and exactly how old is he(?)
Once I know that critical piece of information then I can provide a proper answer to your question.Thank you
Edit
Here's what I know .Both of you guys are of legal age . As long as both of you guys are honest about who you are and what you want to do to and with each other than I say go for it. Truth and honesty is critical in any relationship regardless of of the age of the people involved.
I'm 54 . I've been married ,I've been with a lot of people and if you asked if given the choice of doing it all over again would I pick a mate based on reason or on passion I'd pick passion every single time because passionate people are fun-albeit a bit of a handful at times

Answer 4

Because some people havent been throught it, and therefore they *assume* things that they dont *Know*. It also depends on the ages, i personally believe that age doesnt matter, but both persons must be at least at the minimum level of maturity to be in a serious relationship for it to work, for example, a 13 yr old and a 20, is more likely not to work out. but a 20 and 27, is different and the maturity and experience make the difference, you get what i mean? ...Also a lot of ppl hate on Relationship no matter what age gap it is... If This is something you are going through, And you are sure of what you have, My Advice to you, is Ignore.

Answer 5

Hi
Every five years or so there are social trends in music and culture that relevant to different age groups in different ways making it hard for groups of age groups to value the same social trend in the same way. Eg grunge was very personal for teens and early twenties and was viewed with suspicion by older and younger people in the early 1990s. Income level is influenced by age and level of experience in life opens and shuts doors as people going for jobs soon learn. It is only social pressure which stands in the way of people becoming apprentices and students and also an enjoyment of money. Parents know from experience that the maximum level of relating is often between people of very similar age and social standing and therefore do not value relationships where understanding will be much harder. I agree that often seems like age is dominant, but value systems are the overall gauge of how long a relationship will last. I have been in relationships with people of different politics and religions, but these added to differences in personality and ultimately makes it difficult to make long terms plans as even what is good way to spend Sunday or a holiday and where to go and why become philosophical instead of easy and fun. Try to find a partner who is good for you and try as you get older try if you can, not to criticise youth culture and keep a good youthful outlook, but isnt funny that the friends you keep longest are the most like you and the easiest to get along with. Owen

Answer 6

Personally I agree with you. I have bridged up to a 27 year gap, and you better believe I got some flack for it.

He's a great guy. Nothing negative has come of what we did. We're great friends and we have a good time. If other people find that offensive, I think they need to re-evaluate their own lives.

Answer 7

I don't really know. My friend is 25, she's married to a guy who's 37 and it's all working out. Trust me, she's not only interested in money or gifts and her husband isn't a pedophile. I don't see how it's immoral.... and the relationship IS working, as I've said.

So yeah, I don't know why certain people are making faulty assumptions about relationships like that.

Answer 8

Because people are human and they have their opinions. Problem is it may not be what you want to hear. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around but all in all they will always be in the minority. They just seem to be more vocal and may well be looking for attention themselves. Grin and bear it. As they say sticks and stones may break your bones but if you ignore the rude people out their the words will never hurt you.

Answer 9

do not know, dated a woman just short of 20 years older then me. it was great and nobody knew the difference. though to be thruthful not all people can handle being in a age different relationship .the reason is they do not have the mental and emotional development to pull it off. it is a hard thing that only a few people can pull off. and that is why people get upset.

Answer 10

It is because we live in the time which the Bible said the last days, see here how people will behave....

But know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, betrayers, headstrong, puffed up [with pride], lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power; and from these turn away.

Only God can read our hearts. Since He is our Creator, age gap doesn't matter, if we all listen and follow godly ways, every relationship can succeed despite imperfections..