Anyone has tips for a girl in the Army?

Question

Any girl who currently is or was in the military. Do you have any tips on how to survive in the military as a female???

Answer 1

I think you have gotten some pretty good advice on the other answers. . .

Work hard and do a good job and you will earn the respect of those you work with no matter what your gender, race, etc. . .

Some things to keep in mind. . .

-Don't make excuses. Don't say to yourself that its ok to not be as physically fit or to fall out of a run because you are a female. Its not. If you aren't as good as you should be at something, you will need to work harder at it. I can't tell you how much respect I have gotten in the Army for being a strong runner. I'm not made that way, I just work very hard at it because I know, whether its fair or not, it is one of the things I will be judged on.

-Get thick skinned, don't take things personnally and don't get easily offended. One of things that makes male soldiers leary about working with females is the fear of unfounded EO complaint. If you have a REAL problem, don't be afraid to speak up (preferrably to the person you have a problem with), but don't make complaints as a way to weild power.

-Don't have sex with anyone in your unit (or even date in your unit). I had a company with over 30% females. Trust me when I say that there is no quicker way to lose the respect of your co-workers then to be a barracks wh**e. There are a million other men out there. Consider those in your company (at a minimum) off limits. You will be hit on by men. Learn how to use humor to politely decline first time advances (persistent people need a blunt "no"). This prevents you from being labled as the "bit*h but leaves no doubt as to you not being interested. Along the same lines, keep your "personal business" personal. You will probably hear all about the sexual exploits of your male co-workers. Listen to their stories (if you want), but don't ever join in with stories of your own because whether its fair or not, there is a double standard when it comes to men and women and promiscious behaviour.

-Don't assume that you are going to be treated differently because you are a female. In other words, if you are looking for a problem you will most likely find a problem even if there isn't one present. You may be asked to make coffee at some point - don't automatically think to yourself "it must be because I'm a girl", it may be because you are the lowest ranking person or maybe its just your turn. My point is that if you think that everything unpleasant is "because you are a female" you will make a lot of erroneous assumptions.

I have been a female in the Army for 8 years stationed at Ft Bragg. I have loved it. Being a female need not be a negative as long as you watch out for the things that can get you in trouble. Good luck and e-mail me if you have any follow up questions.

Answer 2

1) Don't wear uniforms, including PT uniforms 3 sizes to small like a teenie bopper would. Your in the military now, not some street walker.
2)Don't get sexually involved with ANYBODY in your unit!
3)You're not a piece of meat, is correct. Act accordingly...
4)Become as proficient at your job as quickly as you can so the promotions come in. 99% of the time, respect comes with the rank.
5)Make sure you've choosen a field/MOS that actually translates into a job on the outside. Infantry, albiet you cant do this, doesn't translate to jack squat. And I know for a fact, alot of police forces won't take you, as your trained in excess and would have to be "REPROGRAMMED"...Choose wisely.
6)Keep you nose clean, remember, military law covers more things that civilian law does. IE. a sunburn is a punishable offense if it impedes your duty day. Remember, your property now, not a person, under the GOVERNMENTS control.
7)DO what your told, when your told, no backtalking, no attitude...
8)Expect to goto Iraq!
9)Keep your head down!
10)YOU'RE NOT A PIECE OF MEAT!!!


TO IRONJAG: You will to get prosectuted/UCMJ actions taken....Best friend got 14/14 for a sunburn....and 6 months pay reduction. Put it this way, the unit I was in sucked, you could get UCMJ'd for accidentally breaking your door...Desturction of government property.....14/14, 6 month pay reduction...And many other things....I know, I burned alot of 14/14's when I was in....for stupid stuff that should have been over looked....

Answer 3

Lots of the things that IronJag (1st Armored Division ??) said are right on. I have a couple more thoughts having been a JAG and being female.

Yes, you are a woman in the Army. You do not shed your gender when you join the Army. It is just not a reason for being treated differently.

Guys will say boorish things, crude things, and even mean things. Don;t take it personally and don't look for things to point to as "sexual harassment". I am not saying do not report genuine sexual harassment (just as inappropriate physical touchings or threats to help or harm your career in return for sexual favors). I am simply saying that soldiers, just like everyone else, say insensitive things and immature things that should be dealt with like a grown up-which often means ignoring it. They will go away. And nothing drives a wedge between men and women in a unit faster than claims of sexual harassment that are either false or blown out of proportion.

Be as professional as you can. Do not fall back on your gender as an excuse for anything or to get out of anything. Always do your best and always take the opportunity to help a buddy who needs a hand up. Avoid fraternization with another soldier in your unit. It is true that while perfectly legal, it can cause resentments and jealousies best left out of the work environment. Don't talk about your personal life at work. Keep your professional life and your personal life as separate as you can.

NEVER GET DRUNK. NEVER USE ILLEGAL DRUGS. IT is ok to have a drink when you go out (if you are of legal age) but never let alcohol interfere with your ability to make good decisions. I know, I know, it sounds so dramatic to NEVER GET DRUNK but getting drunk causes nothing but trouble, both personally and professionally that it will never be worth it.

Be proud of yourself and your service. Always do your best. You will succeed!

M

Answer 4

I practice criminal law in the military. I'm not female, but let me give you my perspective having prosecuted and defended dozens of sex crimes.

First....I've done more sex crimes than ANYTHING else except AWOL/Desertion and Drugs. That is SCARY to consider

Second....I have a 100% conviction rape for sexual assault cases, and a 100% no-conviction rape in defending sexual assault cases. I did not take a lot of cases to trial as a prosecutor, because it was a crap case and would not result in conviciton and would serve to only harm the female greater by putting her on the stand to relive the event. Also... a lot of rape cases aren't rape cases at all...but cases of "regret" usually involving a sweet-talker and liquor or combination of the two. Sweet-talking a drunk girl is not rape if she was capable of consenting and was merely tricked into sex!

I empathize with girls who want to be patriots and serve the country, but the ratio of guys to girls is so ovewhelming that girls are too often put at risk. You will be hit on by way too many guys! It will start with the recruiter...then your drill instructor...then your peers, then your supervisors...etc. Not all of them...but I keep seeing the trend in my line of work. A lot of guys prey on girls with low self-esteem (enticed by sweet-talk) and who are shy/quiet (less likely to report).

I've seen this happen to young female officers as well as enlisted. I consulted with a young lady who was sexually assaulted at West Point by a class-mate!

A lot of the guys are just young and immature....put too many of them together and you WILL HAVE PROBLEMS. I can tell you dozens of "threesomes gone bad" stories.

My advice...it's better to be the ***** than the whore. Be guarded with your privacy and sexuality. Do not date inside your work circle. Be skeptical of any guy vying for your attention. Assume they are ALL trying to get in your pants. Don't be enamored by rank, power, prestige...some will use that to seduce you as well. Somewhere in there you will find the right person...but keep our distance. keep your guard up and keep the alcohol away from your lips. I have not done a single sexual assault case outside of Iraq (yes...i've done them there too) that did not involve Alcohol.

No matter what you do and how straigh-laced you are....someone will start a rumor about you. Accept it as part of life and live a life that repudiates the rumor. Don't try to talk people out of believing the rumor...it will only reinforce it. From the other perspective....don't be a catty girl who spreads rumors...it will come back on you sometime with someone somewhere!

These ideas are designed to help reduce your risk of having a bad experience.

Good luck to you and stay safe.

By the way...you will NEVER be prosecuted for a sunburn. That's one of the age-old myths about the miltary. You may take an ***-chewing for being irresponsible if you sunburn because you got drunk and passed out while "tanning," but you WILL NOT be prosecuted.

Answer 5

Be ready for a 500:1 Guy to Girl ratio everywhere you go.

Answer 6

First of all, there is no such thing as a girl in the Army. The best advice I can give you is not to sleep around. guys will use you and you will be handed around.

Answer 7

BIG TIP! You're a SOLDIER, NOT a "girl in the Army". If you can't get that straight, get the hell out.

Answer 8

Stay away from married male soldiers, and keep your legs closed and your mouth shut, if you out-rank a guy, don't throw it in his face, don't talk down to people, they hate that most about female soldiers.

Answer 9

just be yourself and remember that the ratio of men to women is overwhelming. you are always going to be looked at as a piece of meat. as long as you know who you are that's all that matters