he doesnt have a job but he make me feel like im the most important thing in his life and im falling for him hard. i feel like everyone around me is judging me for being with him like im wasting my time. but does it make him a bad person for not having a job.
2007-10-03 16:17:18 · 45 answers · asked by lilblondielj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
free loader.
2007-10-03 16:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by supak464 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Absolutely not.
How does he support himself? Even people who have physical handicaps are gainfully employed in most cases.
Of course you are the most important thing is his life...I bet you are employed, right???? He sees you as a free paycheck and a girlfriend, in that order. Do you pay all the bills, take him on dates, give him money for his bills or to buy gas for his car? If you can say yes to even one of these things, you are bankrolling his lazyiness.
People who are willingly unemployed are living off of others hard work and tax dollars. Including mine, and I am not too happy about that.
Do you want to be with a guy that people will look down on and call lazy and a bum?
I bet if you checked a bit more into his background, he has always been with girls or women who have financially supported him...don't think you really want to be supporting him financially.
If those that are judging him are your family and friends, they are judging him because they love and care about you; and do not want you to be seen as being used and spineless.
If he thinks that you are the most important thing in his life, demand that he get a job or tell him that you will walk away.
Bet you won't have to wonder about if you will be dating him or not after that ultimatum. He'll disappear faster than you can say paycheck.
Good luck, stand up for yourself and find a real man to date.
One that thinks enough of himself to be gainfully employed and self sufficient.
Have a good day.
2007-10-03 16:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I'm a guy. The ladies call me "Studmuffin", but I have dated a ton of ladies that didn't have jobs, it never mattered to me because I date independant women. Not that I haven't been snagged by a few whiners. If they needed cash I ws there for them, even if they had kids. Not the kids fault that have a crummy dad.
I have also dated a ton of women when I didn't have a job and trust me it never bothered them. I admit that I let pride get the best of me in the beginning, but if they want to give me a car, money, jewlery, vacations, you name it who am I not to let them feel good about themselves and enjoy live. I even havd a professional dancer/model from New York tell me she was just using me for my body at first, I appreciated her honesty.
Your memories you will always have. I still associate with many of these ladies even though they are married now and some of their husbands know, you know. Life is short and if you worry about things, that takes time.
Maybe this isn't the right guy if you have to ask that? Flip a coin. Take a walk on the wild side.
Take care,
RJ
2007-10-03 16:45:15 · answer #3 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from the way he makes you feel... do you see his potential? Does he have desire and inspiration to make himself better?
If you see qualities in him that will take him beyond where he is.. then date him.
My wife met me jobless many years ago at 19. Didn't get a true job until 21. She supported me as a girlfriend for two straight years. I finished college, got a job, and now making six figs. When I look at myself, I can't believe how well i've done career wise and never thought I'd be getting a salary this high. When I asked her what she thought of me back then, she said she saw this and believed in me.
Screw what everyone thinks. Date him.
2007-10-03 16:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by darmonx 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WHY does he not have a job is the question you need to be asking him.
does he have money put away? are his parents rich? does he sell dope to support himself?
it doesnt make him a bad person for not having a job. I am currently between jobs right now too, after working 7 years in one place.
but if you get with him are you going to be the one always paying for everything? what if you want to go out? it does get boriing sitting at home you know.
just be careful before giving away your heart before you know all of the facts.
by the way,
are you in chicago and is his name Jim?
2007-10-03 16:25:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not worth having. He only makes you feel good because he wants you to support him. Make him grow up and get a job. I had a guy do that to me. After a month of dating him I realized what he was all about and dumped his butt. Get you a real man that will take care of you not the other way around.
2007-10-03 16:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by Laughing with you not at you 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It depends on whether he intends to ever get a job. If he's in a situation where he can't work right now or is actively looking for a job, then theres nothing to worry about. However, if he's just lazy & not interested in working, he's probably a loser & a waste of space.
2007-10-03 16:26:24 · answer #7 · answered by Fiona NYC 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends: does he not have a job because he was just fired and is looking or does he not have a job because he is too lazy to go out and get one?
You're still in the honeymoond stage--you need to talk to him though. Ask him what he wants to accomplish in life. Is he wanting to finish college? Contiue his education? Where is he going and when does he want to get there?
That will be the big clue.
If he says that he wants to make video games for the rest of his life but doesn't want to go to college (if he hasn't), then you need to rethink your priorities with this relationship.
2007-10-03 16:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
great question - I HAVE some questions - who pays when you get together? is he looking for a job? does he have a trade he normally works in? Is he looking for a job? or, is he using you for a cash machine? Is he looking for a job? WHY is he unemployed? he can temp, can't he? There are TONS OF firms like "Labor Ready", where he can "work today and get paid today". these questions may sound petty and harsh, but they make sense! Beware, young miss, if you have that sensation of hairs are standing up on the back of your neck, consider a different direction.....
2007-10-03 16:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by Andra J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what anyone else thinks if he makes u happy thats all that matters....It doesn't make him a bad person for not having a job maybe he's in the process of getting one....and if he just doesn't want one than you have a problem
2007-10-03 16:22:04 · answer #10 · answered by ry ry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
years ago i dated a guy who had no job , i would go to work and when i get paid i would use my money for everything from going out to buying him a fake Christmas tree he was so unsure of himself that when it came time for me to think of breaking up with him i thought he would be upset so i kept dating him than i stopped there was this one time he ran out of gas and he had to push the car down the street a few feet with me steering the wheel thank god those days are long gone. he want a bad guy just so unsure of himself that it was hard to find a job.
2007-10-03 16:27:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋