what do i do??? im only 13 and i hate my life?

Question

well i my mom and dad are still together but i hate my dad soo much. all he does is yell and hes soo mean to my mom, like if she doesnt buy him something he wants at the store, he leaves the store all mad and hes like a big baby. also he always yells at me and like today my stupid friend did something to our next store neighbors house and he said well he yelled to me , IM GONNA SPLIT UR HEAD WITH THESE SISSORS IN A MINUTE. he would never do ANYTHING to hurt me but he was just mad. and when i went up stairs crying, i heard him say that girl is soo stupid, n it just made me cry, i dont know what to do, i hate my life so much, and on top of that i hate a disease which makes it dificult to breathe everyday..... what do i do,

also i hate everytime he comes home from work and i always wish that he would like die or something on the way home, i know its sooo horrible but im just sooo upset

Answer 1

Your feelings are understandable.
I think you should write a letter to your dad. Of course make it nice and kind, but tell him that it really hurts you when he does that, because you love him (say this, even if you don't mean it at the time). He was probably raised this way and doesn't know any differently. I'm sure he loves you very much, but he may not be as mature as a dad can be. I think a letter about how much you love him and look up to him, but also how much it tears you apart when he's mad and insulting, it will hit him hard.
I guarantee you that you'll see a difference in him if he knows your feelings written in a non-threatening way. Because he's a little immature, he may really need a bit of emotional validation of his own. Reaching out to him as a grown child with a nice and logically written note maybe what he needs too. I think it will do both of you (and your poor mom too) a lot of good. You'll feel so much better, even if the result is small and/or slow to come.
Good luck. I guarantee a really good result. Just make sure you don't sound mad in the letter, just hurt and loving.
No go write that thing! ;o)

Answer 2

Talk to your parents in a calm and mature manner. Try to establish a relationship with your mother. Do girl stuff with her. I am sure your mother realizes that you are not happy she just doesn't know what to do about it. I suggest you see a family counselor or talk to your doctor the next time you see one. If you can get your doctor to talk to you alone for a few minutes they always find a way to help you. I also suggest you get in contact with one of your relatives from Germany and see if you can go stay with one of them. It seems as if your mom has so much on her plate that she uses you as a 2nd mother to help in the house. Being a 13 year old girl in a household where everyone is too busy for you sucks and I know it because I have been there. Try and stick it out, if you run away from it you will never learn to deal with your problems.

Answer 3

I can relate. I'm now 25 and i felt the same as u do now when I was your age. but it started younger for me. only difference is that I didn't have my biological dad in my life at all. Instead a mean and cruel step father. He yelled at my mother, 2 younger siblings and me all the time. It caused me to hate life and want to kill myself. He was very negative and made us feel like we couldn't do anything right. It was painful to live like that or with him.
Anyway, it can and will get better. You should talk to someone now. Maybe a Church pastor, member, friend or some one you can trust. I didn't have that so it caused a lot of resentment, hate, anger, pain, rebellion in my life and I didn't trust anyone in life. Now I'm married and have a 12month old son. My husband helped me heal from my past. He understands my pain. I just wished I would of handled it before we met because It caused issues in our relationship not cause of him but because of my own insecurities.
Anyway have you sat down and talk with your parents on how you feel. Maybe you should try and see where that leads. It didn't really work for me cause my step dad was an alcoholic. but it might work for you.
GOOD LUCK N KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!

Answer 4

You obviously have a lot of hurt and anger towards your father. Have you tried talking to your parents and letting them know what is hurting you? Sometimes parents are so emotionally stressed about what's going on their marriage, they don't realize that's it's flowing over to their parenting.
I also think you need someone outside the family that you can talk with. A school counselor perhaps! That's what they're there for...to help. And it sounds like you really need some help. At 13, there are too many things that are out of your control and maybe your parents need to get some help. Talking to a school counselor may open up some doors and opportunities for your parents to get help as well.

Answer 5

Show me a 13 year-old that DOESN'T hate her life.
Between the hormone surges, and being stuck between being a kid and being an adult (with allowances given neither)... it is just plain nuts.

Sounds like your dad is under a lot of pressure. There are dads that like to bellow and howl for the heck of it. See what you can do to give him a cooling-down period after he gets home. Bring him a beer from the fridge and maybe a snack to tide him over until dinner is ready. Put a hug around his neck. You have to learn to manipulate this big ogre.

Getting caught doing something to the neighbors' house isn't something he wants to come home to deal with... if your friend is a stupid vandal, you might want to start finding new friends.

Answer 6

Well. You are not alone. I have the problem too. My dad is sooo addicted to this game that he doesn't care about his own family. He is nice at church and to complete strangers that he meets on his bus(he is a city bus driver).

He makes me cry every time I look at him and he is always yelling. It is sooo embarassing with company around.

He also is overweight and could have a heart attack at any minute. He is not doing anything about it.

He doesn't seem to care that I have a disease that makes my back bend and doesn't want to listen to me.

My mom is overprotective but at least she is always there for me when I need to talk.

I am wondering what everybody else will answer. E-mail me.

Answer 7

You know, your friend was let me guess messing with someone else's property, correct? Then she deserved and you too, to be yelled at. If you guys got caught your parents could be in serious trouble depending on what exactly you were doing. If you want to keep this friend i insist on being sneakier about that kind of stuff, seriously. Parents do not want their children having friends who cause trouble. Ignore your dad's view on your friend, that's his own opinion. As long as your dad isn't actually trying to split your head open with scissors... then calm down. My dad says the same crap, and it scares me. But in the long run i know he wouldn't do that to me... he's just upset and needs a moment to calm down.

Your dad loves you, and so does your mom. Your life isn't horrible.. trust me, there are people who would trade your life with theirs anyday. So be thankful that you have parents, because some kids never will.

Answer 8

I am sorry that you feel that way,maybe you need to talk to your mom by herself and let her know how you feel.You are not always going to get along with your parents but you are old enough to remove yourself from certain situations.It sound as though your mom is scared of your dad and she may need some help.If your mom feels the same way you do then mom needs to start being a mom and protect both of you and leave his sorry butt...Im sure once she lets him know that she is out the door he will be a totally different person..

Answer 9

I know how it feels to be so unhappy and miserable. My parents are still together as well but they are very unhappy together. They make me watch my 23 year old sister's son who is 2 years old. I watch him from 730am-5pm. I dropped out of school at 14--after 8th grade but i just took a test and got my diploma (I'm 16)...but I don't go to school anymore. I've been battling depression for 2 years, I've lost 4 family members, I hate my entire family--they yell, judge and criticize me. I stopped talking to all my friends because they talked about me behind my back, didn't care about me and they were superficial and didn't love me for who I really am. I am going to have my mom make a me an appointment to see a psychiatrist so I can have someone to talk to and if I need it they will give me some medication. I reccommend you see one as well if you think you are depressed or just want someone to talk to. Your insurance might cover your costs as well. I've been dealing with depression and being miserable for the past 2 years and it keeps getting worse. I wish nothing but good things for you and I am telling you out of experience that dealing with your problems on your own is very hard and it might not ever get better unless you get help. For me, see a psychiatrist is my last resort, I'm tired of being so unhappy and I want to get better. I'm scared about seeing one but, I'm hoping it will make things easier. You should look up some local psychiatrists and make an appointment, I'm going to have my mom make me tomorrow, try it!! Best wishes, email me if you ever want to talk.

Answer 10

He is doing everything to hurt you! Those kind of men still exist...You and your mom should do something like being together a little bit more that´ll make you stronger. Call to the line they just tell you and talk to someone who´s willing to listen and help. Don´t waste too much energy, you´ll grow up!..try to understand your father´s behavior, cuz he got a problem!...Talk to your mom, stay close!...Relax!,,,And above all things Pray to God for your father´s sake, He really acts in people´s hearts!