Old-fashioned ettiquette books say it is rude to ask how much someone makes or their age. Yet people?

Question

are so clueless, they ask horrible questions that would horrify Miss Manners - How much do you make? How old are you? Why is your kid in a wheelchair? Why is your eye like that? Are those real? Are you pregnant? One time a student asked me who died because I was wearing all black, I said, "My uncle. We are going to his funeral today." Stupid kid. No one died I just thought he was an idiot for asking. People don't realize how idiotic they are for asking these questions. What do you think about these stupid and insensitive people. What do you do when asked a rude question?

Answer 1

I totally get what you're saying! One time when I was at the airport and waiting for a connecting flight from North Carolina to New Jersey, I was sitting at one of the tables by the bar and the piano player listening to the music and this indian guy sitting parrallel to me had the audacity to ask me "Do you have a thyroid problem" while he was holding his throat. I'm guessing he was a doctor or worked in the medical field that's how he "knew". So I slightly smiled at him and shaked my head and said "No" cause it wasn't any of his business anyway. And he said "Yes, you do". And again I shaked my head again and said "No". and he said "Yes, you do." so I stopped responding to his comment. As a matter of fact, I am working on healing my thyroid problem but I didn't feel like it was any of this man's business whether or not I have one. It made me mad that stranger can't mind their own business regarding health issues.
You should put "Asking what health problems or confirming health problems" on your rude list LOL
Anyway, I never ask a stranger how old they are or how much they make at their job, unless I know them and I would say how old I am first, so they would be more opening discussing their age. If I'm curious on how much a certain job pays I would ask "How much do they pay at that job?" or "Are they paying you well?". Instead of "How much do you make?"
It's also annoying when other people ask about your ethnic/culture background and they word it wrong like "Are you Chinese?" or any other asian background like indian, korean, thai, japanese, etc. It is annoying that they have to guess about your ethnicity and they get it wrong too. If someone is curious about ones ethnicity, they should say "May I ask your culture/ethnic background?" Instead of guessing the ethnicity within the question. And by saying "May I" is more polite than "What is" because you are asking permission. By saying "What is" it sounds like an interrogation and pushy way to ask. Not too many people are educated about that.

Answer 2

I can't stand ignorant people. Walking through the mall many years ago with my 1 yr old daughter in a stroller, a strange woman approached and began touching my daughters toes. She then turned to me and said " oh, what a cute baby! Is she yours? ". Now I realized that theoretically, I could have been babysitting for a niece, etc. , but really, what did this woman hope to gain by my answer? A co-worker was talking in the office and offering an expletive every other word, until I finally said, "do you talk to your mother that way?" Which in itself could have been a stupid question, but his response was jokingly, not truly, "my mother's dead". This was simply tact I guess, because my mother had passed away just two weeks prior. I always just answer the question or ignore it and move on. I was taught grace by my grandmother and I really do thank her for this, because as stupid as some people are, I don't sink down to being mean.

Answer 3

The thing about etiquette that gets me is, in my opinion, much of it is to protect people's insecurities. Why is it wrong to ask how much you make? or your age? or even your weight? If you are completely secure in yourself and have no problem with the truth, what question can honestly offend you?

But, if it truly bothers you people asking personal questions, why can't you be honest and say that to them so that they know where your boundaries lie? Why bother getting on a self-righteous high-horse and feel and act negatively towards someone when you could be honest and forthright? Most people will respect other's boundaries if stated clearly and firmly, but don't expect them to read minds -- especially children!

Saying something like, "You may not know this about me but I have an issue with answering personal questions as I don't see it is anyone's business but my own. But I'm open to answering any other types of questions that I can help you out with..." I feel is being as honest as one can be. Making up lies and resenting people for being naturally inquisitive, however, I think is self-defeating and works your own self up into unnecessary knots.

As for the guy up there and his thyroid problem... Honestly. What was wrong with answering the question? You do have a thyroid problem. Even if you didn't want to answer it, you could have politely told him that or ask why he is asking. He could have probably given you some good advice, you never know. But you shut the door on that one by protecting your insecurity about people knowing you have a thyroid problem...

I have breast cancer and I'll answer almost any question that comes my way. Why? As with almost any personal question, it's a way people can get to know me better and feel comfortable around me.

Answer 4

When asked my age, I always respond, "you never ask a lady her age".

When asked my income, "Why do you want to know, you the IRS?"

Although Miss Manners wouldn't approve, rude questions always illicit rude responses from me, unless I really, really like you.

But the rudest, and soooo common, thing that has come up in the past couple decades, is the fact that total strangers feel free to stick their hands on a pregnant woman's stomach. I can't tell you how many times that happened to me. The hands always landed just about the time that the person was asking if it was ok, my response was always, "well you can touch my stomach if you don't mind being vomited on". Amazing how fast they backed away.

Answer 5

Everyone has an idea of what rudeness is. There are times when a question from another, which you or I may consider rude, which is only an innocent curiosity for the asker. In so many, many ways we are all so different from each other, that we may have to make room for those who seem are ignorant or highly flawed as far as etiquette goes.
The same may be true for you and me. Someone may judge us with quiet alarm or indignation at some question or statement we may make, which for all that is worth may just be a manifestation of our personality.

Answer 6

Hmm.. Some historic-long-established names I like are: Addie, RuthAnne, Molly, Anna, Madeline, Evelyn, Eleanor, Guinevere, Victoria, Adele, Rosalind, Angelina, Charlotte, Rose, Violet, Rosemary, Claire, Mabel Charlotte, Victoria, Rose, Claire, and Evelyn are as a rule my favorites out of the ones. Hope I helped! :)

Answer 7

I'm like you, I make people feel stupid for asking stupid questions. once, my pregnant friend was trying on clothes and the sales lady asked when the baby was due. my friend started crying and said she wasn't pregnant. she was, she just likes to have fun.

Answer 8

The best response is "Why do you ask?" This usually shuts them up pretty quickly.

Answer 9

I simply think or say My, aren't you inquisitive!