Is this too much for me to handle?

Question

This is going to seem a little long but read and please help me I'm feeling sorta "down in the dumps".

Ok well my parents are divorced and my dad got a job offer in India. He will make good money and will get to travel the world (they go to a new place every year). So my dad is leaving and my mom got a job offer in Fort McMurray (a 20 hour drive from where I live) so now I'm stuck without a mom or dad to turn to. My mom has left already and my dad's leaving at the end of the month. I live with my mom so she hired a nanny (not MY nanny but A nanny). She's great and I really like her but today her and my bro had some miscommunacations (I hope I spelled that right) and my 9 year old bro ended up "being lost". I knew where he was because he came to my field hockey game. I feel really guilty now because Sara (my nanny, who is only 19) was so worried she almost called the cops, she had the principle and his best friends parents looking for him. Now my bro wants to fire Sara.

He wants to fire her not because he doesn't like her but because he wants my mom back. But she won't come back. She'll just hire another nanny. I tried telling him that but he wouldn't listen. Anything you say will help.

Also not only do I have to take care of my bro most of the time but I also have school (as i am only 13), sports (field hockey and I have been kicked off the volleyball team because I had to get my bro to school) and on top of that my social life. I am looking for nothing more than someone to give me a helping hand. I will not choose a best answer.

Answer 1

I remember this well the worst thing about divorce is how drastically your time and relationships with your parents change. I understand this is very hard but you seem to be a very thoughtful young woman who seems has a good grip on life which will help you and your brother. I really think you need to ask you mom to find a bit of time to sit down with you and your brother. She needs to hear from both of you about how you feel and let you know what's going on with her and why things need to be this way. My guess is that either she doesn't want to move you away from where you are for a couple reasons. Either way you have to learn to help you and your family communicating to one another. So that you can come together and function as a family and look out for one another. It's important to maintain your relationships as much as you can luckily you have a good deal of technology at your hands to help with this. Maybe suggest setting up web cams so that you and your bro can do video chats w/ your dad regularly. I feel for your situation and hope things work out the best they can for you and your family. Good luck.

Answer 2

That's a tough one to give a single answer to but rather requires some exploring. In theory you strive to stick to the acceptable methods of dealing with adverse situations, polite, civil, calm etc.... But when it comes down to it if the issues are provoked to the point that they become burning issues then the survival instinct kicks in and I always hope that when that happens that I have not made a complete and utter disaster of things with my reaction. I am saying that I emotionally express myself, might need to cry, might need to rant, might have to confront and then blow off the steam depending... If it is something sad like cancer or a heart attack ending yet another life then for me personally it is internalizes. I take that to heart and it changes and effects my every thought and action but under the surface and I don't control, it is an instinctual reaction telling me to live my life as true as I can because you can be gone in an instant. Keep smiling back at you....:)

Answer 3

I don't mean to put your parents down, but I just can't see BOTH parents leaving their children in a 19 year old's care. When do you see your mother? Does she ever come home? Why doesn't she move closer to her job and relocate you guys so you can be together?

I feel so sorry for you.

Answer 4

WELL, IF YOUR MAM IS WORKING AWAY & YOUR DAD IS ON HIS WAY TOO, THEN EVEN IF SARAH YOUR NANNY IS LOOKING OVER YOU, IT IS STILL YOU WHO HAS THE LAST SAY NOT YOUR STUPID 9 YEAR OLD BROTHER, HE SHOULD MAKE SURE HE KNOWS WHATS GOING ON NOT JUST BLAME SARAH, IF YOU LIKE SARAH I THINK YOU CAN HELP HER HERE & GET YOUR BRO SORTED OUT, YOU WANT A NANNY YOU LIKE NOT SOMEONE WHO WILL JUST COME IN & TAKE OVER, ONE YOU CAN TALK TO GOOD LUCK,

Answer 5

Talk to your nanny and ask her to relieve you of some of the responsibility of taking care of your brother. If she refuses to help you out, you need to contact your mother. You may need a new nanny afterall.

Answer 6

Looks like you're in a car, but you're not the one driving. All you can do is offer advice and hope it will be heard and heeded. Your folks sound like selfish nuts leaving you like that. Your brother acting out because of it is proof. Your mother needs to be informed. That's all you can do.