What you think of 28 yr old BF hanging out with 18 yr olds?

Question

I'm 6 month pregnant, yes I know I'm a fool. Was swept off my feet by 28 year old BF I'm 36, got engaged to be maried august this year got pregnant in april, he delayed wedding till next year. Now refuses to move him, swears he loves me but smokes weed and spends nights when he's not her watching footie with mates. Told me tonight he watches footie in pub with mates and their 18 yr old GF's and couldn't take me as I wdnt fit in...as some are drug dealers and nothing in common with 18 yr girls...he cheated on me with 17 yr old too 7 mth ago....arggh

I work FT in evening from home and during day S/employed. I have a lovelyhome with extortionate mortgage and teenage kids from past marriage. I don't get much maintenance from carp ex but I just about keep afloat.
I love this guy to bits and can't believe I have fell for his crap!

Answer 1

The only one I feel sorry for in this situation is the unborn baby. Wait til he or she realizes both parents are retards. What a nice surprise he/she has in store for them.

Answer 2

Some of the things you are saying in your post I am not understanding such as footie but I am going to answer anyway. It seems like your 28 year old boyfriend is immature. He is not ready to be a husband or a father. Therefore as a 36 year old woman, you should be mature enough to make a decision wether to continue the relationship with this guy. He is clearly immature and if you marry him, you will see more heartache days ahead. Don't rush into this marriage. Take your time until he has gotten himself together. Your child does not need to be around a man that smokes weed and wants to hang out with teenagers. Take care of yourself and your baby and if you have to be a single parent, then that is fine. It will be better if you are a single parent than to have a 2 parent home where one parent is not stable.

Oh, and you are not a fool for getting pregnant.

Answer 3

The ages of his friends would be the least of my worries. The man is a Druggie. I don't care how much you love him, he is and you need to realize that. He might be the sperm donor of your baby, but he is definitely not going to make a very good daddy. If I were in your shoes, I would dump the druggie, and then put the baby up for adoption. THere is a loving married couple who would be happy to raise that baby in a two parent drug free home. Even if you choose to keep the baby loose the boyfriend. The way you talk you sound like you live in England- I don't know about the laws there, but in the USA his drug use would be enough to terminate his parental rights.

You are no longer thinking for just you. You are thinking for that child as well. You need to start thinking what is best for the baby and a druggie father is definitely not.

Edit**
I just read your additional details-

YOU HAVE TEENAGERS AND YOU ARE DOING A DRUGGIE! YOU REALLY ARE STUPID! Sorry but it had to be said. The fact that you would knowingly expose your teen children to a druggie, shows how truly stupid and unconcerned with the welfare of your children you are. For the sake of this Child put it up for adoption so that it can have a normal life. Your teenagers are probably druggies too. You can't have a druggie boyfriend around and not have him expose your children to that.

Answer 4

i had a baby at 15 so i know what it feels like to be pregnant and be cheated on..(what a toad my ex was) i think you should tell him to grow up and spend some more time with you and preparing for the birth of your baby. also, even if he tells you not to, go to the pub and see what you think to these young girls. turn up without telling him and watch how he acts with them.you'll easily pick up on his body language with how he is towards these young girls. i hope they are just friends and that he learns to respect you, and just because you are pregnant it doesnt mean you do not fit in..it could be that you are not 17 but dont worry..you treat your guy with respect do you think a 17 year old would?tell him to watch the footie at home with you and treat you like a princess..and dont take no for an answer!

Answer 5

Well in my opinion, he is not a trustworthy fiance. For one, he keeps delaying the wedding and moving in. That shows he's afraid of commitment. Two, if he smokes weed and hangs out with drug dealers, then he needs to go stop or go into rehab. He could hurt you badly while he is high. And three, if he's hanging out with seventeen and eighteen year old girls, then he must be having 'fun' with them, which means cheating and that he is lawfully a criminal. Nobody blames you for being 6 months pregnant, and it is plenty fine to have this baby, but you are strong enough to do it on your own and you don't need him, to make it harder.

Answer 6

Sounds like you would be better off without him. BUT WOULD YOUR CHILD?? Its possible that the birth of the baby may shake some sense into this idiot.

Unless you give this child up for adoption, you will have to think and make decisions that you may end up having to justify to your child. If this idiot is making your life that much of a misery that you want to break contact with him and you think that you can later justify it to your child then go right ahead.

Furthermore don't allow him unsupervised access to your child until YOU'RE confident that he's off the drugs and not hanging out with undesirables.

Answer 7

Im sorry to have to say this, But boy did you pick a loser, do you really think he is the kind of bloke who will make a good dad?. Im afraid that nothing not even your baby is going to change him, he is already showing you he does'nt want the responsibilty of a baby. Why? because drugs are his baby believe me he won't change how do i know this? Because & it grieves me to say this, I have a 23 year old son who is exactly the same, infact since his child was born he's got worse. You would be better going it alone with baby good luck.

Answer 8

Its easy for me to say this, but it must be hard for you. I think to protect yourself, your unborn baby and your teenage children you should leave this man. You have done well for yourself and i think that's something you need to be proud of, to have a nice home is lovely, but don't let this man bring you down. He has already cheated on you, with a girl much younger, that is totally wrong and disrespectful. He doesn't want you to hang around with his so called 'friends' this is insane, however if he is mixing with drug dealers you are better off out of it. I know you say you fell for this crap, but we cant help who we fall in love with, but from what you have said, on this occasion i think you should think of your future happiness, and that's not going to be found with this man. I hope this helps a bit and good luck!

Answer 9

being pregnant does not make you a fool.
but being involved with a drug dealer is.
we see so many young girls following men who do drugs cos their the in crowd.
but you are 36? so i would expect bit more common sense from you.
having children is not like getting a dog for Christmas.
and you will end up having long term communication with him if that is the future you want.
put your foot down and tell him no more hanging round drug dealers and spend more time building a home for his future off spring.
or cut your ties with him.

Answer 10

Wow. Ok my bf smokes weed and has some young frenz (he's 22 and some of his frenz are 18)- but for sure when i was pregnant the first thing he wanted to do was cut down on weed and hanging out so much.

He needs to get himself in check. He owes you for the rest of his life since he cheated on you and your having his baby. So my thoughts are- if he dosent fix up- then ship out.

Answer 11

You're in a right mess... you're old enough to take care of yourself, cut your fella loose and bring up the baby by yourself.

There are other guys out there, nice and responsible guys.

I've known guys that sound like your boyfriend, they never amount to anything... they're just wasters.

If you're any kind of a responsible person you'll do your best to keep him out of the babies life until he gets his priorities straight. You can get all the money you're entitled to via the council and child support.