I don't know how to handle this.?

Question

My son, whom I dearly love, has been discharged from the Navy.

It's an "Other than Honorable" discharge, and I can't help feeling ashamed. I don't know how to handle this at all, I don't want to tell anyone, but this is a small town and it wont take long before everyone knows. Not only am I ashamed of my son, I am ashamed of myself for feeling this way.

He kept doing stupid things, like missing class, or messy room, nothing criminal, just stupid.

People are gonna look down at him, he's gonna be judged and questioned, oh it looks bleak.

How can I help him and myself, not to mention his dad.

Thanks

Answer 1

You can't control what anyone else thinks or does about this. But you can maybe help him learn a lesson from it and that's more important in the long run.

Bear in mind that I'm a Navy spouse and can see a lot of good in the military discipline style. I've seen it turn a number of young people into men and women I'm proud to call friends starting first with my own husband.

That said I think the shame should only come in if you let him come home and continue to make stupid mistakes without any other consequences. He's out of the Navy now, so what are his plans? What's he going to do to support himself? I'd be asking him these questions and letting him know that there are time limits to staying at home if that ends up being his answer.

Answer 2

That's a hard one to deliver a unmarried reply to however instead calls for a few exploring. In thought you attempt to persist with the suitable approaches of handling opposed circumstances, well mannered, civil, calm and so forth.... But while it comes right down to it if the disorders are provoked to the factor that they come to be burning disorders then the survival intuition kicks in and I constantly wish that after that occurs that I have now not made a whole and utter crisis of matters with my response. I am announcing that I emotionally categorical myself, could have got to cry, could have got to rant, could ought to confront after which blow off the steam relying... If it's some thing unhappy like melanoma or a middle assault finishing but yet another existence then for me for my part it's internalizes. I take that to middle and it alterations and results my each and every inspiration and motion however underneath the skin and I do not manipulate, it's an instinctual response telling me to reside my existence as real as I can for the reason that you'll be able to be long gone in an immediate. Keep smiling again at you....:)

Answer 3

first this is not anyone's business what kind of discharge your son has. Second, it can be changed after an amount of time. It's not dishonorable. Not that it really matters. I'm an Air Force veteran, and businesses really don't care what kind of military discharge you have. It's still hard to get a job.

Answer 4

there must have been something else. they don't do this for a messy room and missed classes. odds are, they gave him the choice to stay or not since he wasn't really into it. i wouldn't care what others think and there's no way for them to know unless you tell them.
he won't be looked down upon at all.
my bro had the same thing from the army. he was in nam and punched out his c.o. for VERY good reason. no one looked down on him.

Answer 5

People will ONLY find out what you want them to know and nothing more. You all need to sit down and talk about what sort of answers you want to give when and if this subject comes up. Your son has the right to his privacy so he needs to be the one to tell you what others need to know if they need to know anything at all. For all they know, his contract was up and he didn't want to re-enlist for another 4. Leave it at that. No one needs to know more.

Answer 6

I don't understand why people care so much of what others think!