my husband recentley joined the army and he's been in boot camp for 5 weeks. since day one he has been begging me to get him out. of course i just kept ignoring it and writing him letters to encourage him. the letters dont work. he says its not that he cant do the physical part he just wont adjust to army life and he's in infantry so he also refuses to kill anyone in iraq or anywhere else. as the weeks progressed his attitude got worse and the things he was saying scared me. he actually said he's getting to the point of committing suicide. i tried calling the chaplain on base and i called his captain and told him my worries and that i didnt think my husband was right for the army. the captain told me that he would talk to him about it and instead of helping he made it worse, he got in trouble. i also already brought up the whole ELS thing and i guess that isnt an option. i just want my husband home and safe. i have two young kids. im sure you can understand.
2007-10-03 10:16:25 · 31 answers · asked by ? 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Sorry that you guys are going through this. I know its tough right now. My husband is in the navy. They are just trying to scare him by getting him in trouble. There are trying to brainwash him into obeying everything they say. He could still pursue the "attempted suicide thoughts" or he could wait it out in bootcamp and start the suicide thoughts conversation with his chaplain again or complain of some type of physical aliment that would prohibit him from duty. The more complaining you and him do the more they'll have to listen. Do a lot of research online to find out what illness or condition are medically dischargable. Also in bootcamp with the navy they have something callled "failure to adapt" which helped certain people released from bootcamp. Try your best military life sucks! Good Luck
2007-10-03 10:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by Lordes Skye 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
He made a commitment that isn't easy to get out of. He could do the fake suicide approach and get out on that, but it's not a good way to get out. He'll get a bad discharge (Possible 'less than honorable' or general with a RE4 code.) and every job interview he ever has is going to know what happened. Not to mention all his friends and family looking down on him. Also, if the doc doesn't believe he's sincere he'll be disciplined then start bootcamp from the beginning.
He has 3 weeks left in boot camp, then he'll get some leave and I'm sure his attitude will change. Boot Camp is not THAT tough, and he should be at the point where PT and the screwy sleep schedules aren't that big of a problem any more. Tell him to stop making trouble for himself, and just do what he's told for 3 more weeks.
And something's fishy considering he's afraid to go to Iraq but signed up for Infantry. Where the heck do you think they're going to send the infantry?
2007-10-03 11:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by Seattle_Slacker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact your congressman. I did and I got my son out of the Coast Guard after he was in eight months. I am a 20-year Air Force veteran and the attitude was when I got out was this "Either you are all the way in or out". We do not need to have people in any armed service who do not want to be there. It is an all volunteer force. The military is not for everyone. Your husband's recruiter did not do a very good job. Your husband should of been fully aware of what to expect when he went in. When you contact your Congressman just give all of the facts. Explain about what the Army did after you talked to them. Offer some of your letters from your husband as well. It is still going to take some time. Here is another good argument to use, I did. Does he have to mess up to get throw out? By the way my son receive an Honorable Discharge but it is flagged and he could not go back in any service for the rest of his life.
2007-10-03 10:33:47 · answer #3 · answered by Gary 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This whole story sounds a little fishy but....
These things should have been discussed BEFORE he signed up.
What happened since then to change his mind about going to Iraq? Surely he knew when he joined there would be a chance that he would.
I have some pretty depressing letters from my sons during boot camp. In a normal person, it will pass.
Why in the world did you call in on your husband? Geez, how old is he? If he was old enough to join the military, I'm sure he doesn't need "mama" to take care of his problems for him. He's a man, treat him like one and make him act like one.
2007-10-03 10:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I really don't understand your husband really needs to grow up. I also feel that now would be a good time for him to get the boot from army and not when they have invested training and assigned him to a unit. Now the fact that he can not kill some who is shooting at him baffles me what did he think the was the army's main mission in life? Look just keep bugging his boot camp co and write your congressman and please by means get him and you out of the military we really do not any more sponges on the pay roll!
2007-10-03 10:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should have thought about all of this before he joined the army, especially since the war has been going on for 4 years. Did he really think that he could join and not get deployed? Was he delusional???? No one ever wants to go to war, but that's what the army was invented for, blowing stuff up and killing people. No, that's not a pretty description but thats the way it is. Boot camp is to essentially break you down and turn you into a soldier. If he didn't know going in that boot camp is another word for hell and that he would be shipped off to Iraq as soon as he completed boot camp, then he needs to pull his head out of whatever dream world he is in and join reality. Of course he got in trouble when you called his captain!!!! Military officers hate nothing more than whiny wives trying to get their whiny husbands out of doing their job. He has no choice but to be "right for the army" now, he signed a contract, and it takes nothing short of losing limbs to get out of a military contract. No, I can't understand. I was 5 months pregnant when my husband got deployed. My best friend was 6 months pregnant with 2 other small kids when her husband deployed AND she almost lost her baby when he was born, but she didn't whine and complain about it. She sucked it up and DEALT WITH IT like a military wife should. She didn't call his captain crying and complaining about her husband being in Iraq because she knew it was her husband's job. Get over it.
2007-10-03 10:36:22 · answer #6 · answered by sharip729 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well your his wife, tell him to grow up, Be a man about it, it was his choice, there is no draft, why did he join? no one is that niave about military expectations. and then he joins the infantry in the army, but doesn't want to be in combat? thats like saying you hate sports but join the football team in high school? what is going on in his immature mind? did he complete the 3rd grade??? why didn't he go into the Navy, or maybe the Air Force, and pick a technical fiiled not related to AAircraft, then his chances of going to Iraq is nill to nothing? I'm sorry your husband is such a poor decision maker? are you sure he knew what he was doing when you got married? this guy needs to grow up, and be a man, he made teh choice, no one twisted his arm, there is no draft, and he had to have a clue what he was getting into, unless he hass lived in a bubble his entire life. YOu don't get a job in the Medical field if you can't standf the sight of blood, you don't become a school teacher if yu dislike kiids, you don't become a truck driver if you want to be home every night, and you don't join the army if you don't want to serve your country. It's not rocket science. Tell him to grow up, it was his choice, now do what you agreed to when you signed the contract. He can Et his bed, and get out as a bed wetter, cowards will do anything to get out a comitment whether in the military or not. I fell really sorry for you being married to this loser.
2007-10-03 10:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by edjdonnell 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I dont know where the one person got their info from....you can't send them electronics like a tape recorder. I mean technically you can but they won't let them have it until they leave basic. The cartoon strips are a good idea though, send stamps, envelopes, paper...or maybe spray a small amount of your fragrance on a letter. Send LOTS of photos. That for some reason always cheered me up since its so boring and colorless in the barracks. Make sure the photos don't have "contraband" in the picture...or they wont let them have it. Ask him what counts as contraband and he'll explain.
2016-05-20 01:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I hate to be mean... but I'm friggin tired of this question. HE SIGNED UP. He needs to deal with it. It's the Army, and four years of his life. If he was big boy enough to sign the contract, then he's big boy enough to DEAL WITH IT. Why did he go into infantry if he didnt want to fight? Sounds to me like he thought it was going to be easy, and he wanted to play Army, but when it was time to MAN UP he got scared and is wimping out. I feel sorry for you because there is nothing you can do. He just needs to understand that HE made this decision. No one has any right to b*tch about the situation because they WILLFULLY signed up. So no, you cant get out of boot camp in any branch, they sigend a contract, and I'm sorry there's so many pu$$ies that dont know how to take care of their committments and responsiblities.
2007-10-03 10:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The worst part is past now. He should be fine, the last three weeks are much easier than the first half. You should've realized you would make it worse by talking to his commander. You never jump the chain of command and you never talk to a spouses chain of command on his behalf. If he can't hack it he shouldn't of joined in the first place. BASIC TRAINING IS NOT THAT HARD. It is all mental. If you can get past that then the physical is easy. Sorry but your husband made his bed, now he has to lay in it. If he leaves now he will regret it for the rest of his life, guarenteed.
2007-10-03 10:21:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋