what do you do or say when....?

Question

someone asks you to do something, but you already have plans. For example, when you have many different groups of friends and you get invited to more then one event, but you don't want anyone to feel rejected or left out. If you commit to one event and then someone else asks what your plans are, how do you tell them you aren't available without making them feel bad. sometimes you just can't extend the invitation to everyone for various reasons.

Answer 1

If it is someone you would want to do something with, tell them that unfortunately you have plans and then make plans with them for the following night, weekend or week. If they want you to be more specific with your plans just tell them honestly what you are doing without making a big deal about it, they should understand that it is normal to have plans with other people. If it makes you more comfortable you can also just tell them your plans without saying who specifically you have plans with.

Answer 2

"Oh, NO! I already have an engagement then!"

If you want, you can go on about what a shame you can't make it, and how you're sure it will be a wonderful time, and so on.

Depending on how big a deal you want to make, or on their reaction.

People have more than one friend; no one can be 2 places at one time. People usually understand these facts.

Um, of course you can't invite people to something that you're a guest at. Hosts invite; guests do not.

They're rude if they press to know WHAT your plans are, or try to get you to change them by not showing up when and where you've already promised.

If they press, just be vague: "It's a thing; I've already agreed to. You don't know them." or some such.

Anyone who would be hurt that you actually intend to show up to something you're agreed to do is not right in the head. Wouldn't they be cranky if you did that to them?

Answer 3

Just tell the truth and explain you already have plans. If you really like the person/people immediately arrange to go out another time and make sure you stick to it.

If they are good people they will understand and not feel rejected. If they do it means they expect you to drop everything to be at their beck and call.....bad way to live your life.

If you have been invited somewhere and other friends have not and you have already agreed to go, and you really do want to go then you should go. It is not your problem who has or has not been invited. Again if they are good friends they will accept this.

Answer 4

normally i just say i have other plans!
i keep it vague as possible!
if they try to pry or find out why i just stick to the story sorry i made other plans before you asked!


don't lie cuz if they found out that feels worse then hereing no thanks!

saying no shouldn't make someone feel bad just make sure you don't allways turn them down!
take turns turning groups of friends down!
it's hard at first but you'll get the hang of it!

Answer 5

Say you have other things to do so you can't hang with them that night. Things to do includes partying and hanging out with other friends.
If you say that you have other plans, that increases their curiosity and they might be curious and ask a second question like "oh plans? what kind of plans". so don't say you have other plans. just say you're busy or you have other stuff to do or things to do. they might think in their heads that you have chores or errands to do heheheh.

Answer 6

I tell them I'd love to, but I have already made other plans for that time. Tell them you'll be there next time.

Answer 7

tell them you cant go because you prior engagements or you have a appointment somewhere and your going to be busy all day