Is a grown 35 year old daughter supposed to verbally abuse and disrespect me; her mother, like she does?

Question

My oldest daughter left home of her own accord at a very young age and according to her, her life was nothing but a miserable life all because of me. Yes, I have been married more than once and when I finally found the right one she hated him and never wanted to be around. Now he has died almost a year ago and she moved in the week he died. She yells at me to grow up and calls me a B* and when we are in public she doesn't care who is hearing it. How to I get her to move out!

Answer 1

You have my sympathies.

I'm sure you know that no one is supposed to be abused by anyone else. You do not have to put up with the abuse, even from your daughter. You do, however, need to plan and will very likely need some support/guidance to safely get her out of your house.

You might want to call a referral/crisis hotline in your community or state for referrals to agencies who might help you plan how to deal with your daughter. There are different types of counselors who can help you plan what to say and when, consider local eviction laws, and have a safety plan in case you need it.

If you can't find a local referral service, this number may help, although it is primarily for partners....still they may have ideas you can use.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Answer 2

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your husband passing. To be honest, unfortunately it doesn't sound like you daughter has fully matured yet. If she is 35 years old, she doesn't need to be living at home with Mommy. She should be independent. Not only that, she shouldn't be cursing, especially at you in public. How do you get her to move out? Kick her out. Is it not your home? She's way past 18 so it's obviously legal. I think she's the one who really needs to grow up. It sounds like she may have some type of mental problems. Whether it be from stress, anxiety, worry, or past trauma, she needs some help. That help won't be from you though, she needs professional help. If I were you, tell her she has EXACTLY 2 weeks to leave. No more. No exceptions. If she doesn't leave, call the police. Just be strong and do what you think or know is right! Sorry again to hear about that and hope everything works out for the better! : )

Answer 3

And you let her move back home? Why?!? Well this is what I think. She is miserable with her own life and wants to make your life just as miserable. You need to tell her you were helping her out by letting her come home. Tell her that you deserve and expect courtesy and respect, YOU ARE THE MOTHER. Stand your ground. If she doesn't straighten up, give her 30 days notice, contact your local police dept and ask if there is a form that you can obtain for this situation. If she refuses to sign or accept, contact your local magistrates office. Tell them the situation, they would be able to advise you on what to do.
Let your daughter know that you don't want to get ugly with this, and that you are not going to let her treat you this way.
Good luck to you.

Answer 4

She's a grown up. Go to the county courthouse and serve her with an actual eviction. Let her fend for herself and when she throws a fit just tell her that you're both too old to be disrespected in what you call home. You take some chances, but think about all the abuse you'd miss.

Answer 5

kick her out on her a**. Tell her this is your house and even though she is older now, she has no right to disrespect you that way. Her life is her fault. If it is screwed up, she did it. No one can ruin your life. People can do things that affect your life, but not make it a miserable existence. Maybe a bad day or two. She has to stop playing the victim and take responsibility for her life.

I am sure you love her, as all mothers do, but in this case it sounds like the most loving thing to do is to kick her out until she learns to grow up and respect you.

Answer 6

There is no easy way to rid yourself of people u LOVE but u have a moral duty to keep a peace of mind as u get older. Life is to short to surround yourself with unpleasant people. Just come out and say it if u really mean it, u have to leave now don't look back. We must learn to deal with the things at hand, and don't linger on what happened in the past. U have to talk about what happened but resolve it and move on to the FUTURE. Don't look back!!!!

Answer 7

wow! First of all if she feel the way she does she should still be out there on the other side of my door. How is someone who does not have nothing going on in her life tell her MOTHER about hers. I feel that ANYONE that direspects their mother has a problem. I would get the police involve and then get a resraining order. PUT HER A* OUT! SHOW HER THE TRUE MEANING OF A B*!

Answer 8

It's so simple, just change the locks and keys on the door. When she comes complaining, ignore her or if she harrases you, go tell the authorities. If that doesn't work, get a paper from the state stating that she can't be near you.

If all doesn't work, go away and move out. Then she won't find you.

Answer 9

Give her a deadline to get out. Change the locks everywhere in your house. You might want to have a friend or two around to let her know of your decision . Also when the deadline is up have a friend with you to help you deal with your daughter.

Answer 10

I am grown with a fiancee and on my own. I would NEVER speak to my mother that way, even though we do not get along. Tell her that you are the parent and will not tolerate any form of disrespect! She is in your house! Pack her bags for her and tell her to leave! Good luck!