you agree there are things that make the 2yr relationship not work and when you decide to part ways because of these things.....why is it so hard? Crying, sobbing, saddness and then only to realize you cant split up because you love eachtoher so you dont...but the problems dont go away and eventually a similar if not the same argument will come up again. And once trust is broken is there even a way to recover? Or is it a pointless effort.
2007-10-03 08:59:41 · 13 answers · asked by Monkey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, I know what you mean.
Being in a 20+ year marriage myself and we've recently came to the conclusion that we are better off seperated than together, boy can I relate to what you are feeling at the moment.
Why is it so hard? It's never easy to let go of someone (or something) you love. That's the humanness in you showing. :-)
Crying is a natural reaction to a loss in your life and there is no shame in that. :-)
Yes, the same arguments come up over and over again because you've never resolved the root of the problem.
Look within yourself and take a long, hard look, and then decide for yourself what you need to change. Yes, people can change, I'm a firm believer in that. You have to make it your daily goal and at the end of the day (EVERY DAY) be able to answer what have I done today to make my relationship better?
Yes, trust can be re-established again. As long as there is life, there is hope! So, in my opininion, no, it isn't a pointless effort!
If it matters enough to you and is important enough to you, yes you can change!
Best of luck that everything works out!
And, yes, sometimes taking a "time-out" or "time-apart" as in a temporary seperation is a good thing for all party's involved!
2007-10-03 09:11:52 · answer #1 · answered by Coltsfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only the two of you can decide whether or not it's worth it to keep trying. Being together for the sake of being together doesn't make sense if neither of you are happy. and it doesn't sound like you really are. If the problems aren't being resolved, maybe you should think about taking a break from the relationship... A REAL BREAK. It will be hard, and you'll miss each other, but what you need to figure out is whether you want to be together enough to fix the things that neither of you are happy with. If you're desire to be together isn't enough to make things change, then you're probably wasting your time in trying
2007-10-03 16:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by lehua 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these problems keep getting in the way then you either have to find a way to resolve them or the two of you will have to go your separate ways. Love is not everything. It is important but you also must be able to communicate, share, compromise, and like each other. If trust is broken, it is important that it is earned back or you will never be truly happy. Sit down and discuss this situation one more time before you make a decision. Whatever you decide, you must stick with it and not go back to the same situation. Good luck and God bless
2007-10-03 16:04:15 · answer #3 · answered by karaokediva1960 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, well if it's really love then you will find a way either past or around whatever it is that is causing this confrontation. If it's infidelity that is causing the trust issue then it's up to whoever has to do the forgiving to forgive and let it go. Not easy to do I might add. You will however have to either pony up and not bring it up anymore or just move on. It only feels like you can't let go because you are accustomed to what you have and it's scary to go out in the big bad world all over again. Trust me, it's short lived. There you have it. Move on or move out.
2007-10-03 16:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is always easy to lose and difficult to rebuild.
However, if there are serious problems with the relationship (I feel trust is definitely one of them), then you have to take an objective step back and decide if these problems are something you (as a couple) are willing to work through, or if these problems are just something that will ruin the relationship over time.
If one of you, or neither of you are willing to work through these problems, then it is time to say goodbye. Heartbreak is a part of growth in life; it better prepares you for future relationships.
2007-10-03 16:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by whitesonnet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In love there's no such thing as a pointless effort!
Stubbornness, probably on both ends is why nothing gets resolved or changes! Once trust is broken that's when it becomes difficult.
To forgive is also difficult, without forgiveness there is no recovery! Best wishes
2007-10-03 16:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by david 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how big are these problems? you have to weigh the good with the bad, if the good things out weigh the bad then try to make it work, however if you have been dating for 2 yrs + and you still cant seem to make it work then im sorry but its just not working out. sometimes when we love people its hard to let them go, but trust me there will be someone else out there for you
and i think once trust is broken the relationship definitely suffers and you need to work realllllly hard to build up that trust again, if its even worth rebuilding
i think try to make it work is best, but if you have been trying and trying with no success, then maybe its time to move on...
sorry
2007-10-03 16:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you have established you two still care for each other but the trust is gone and neither of you seem to want to work on your problems. you both have to work on the problems at hand by changing and wanting to change for the betterment of the relationship and b/c you love your partner. but if one of you aren't on the same page then it will never change b/c one will be doing all the work and changing and then will realize that is was all for not b/c the other really doesn't care enough to want to change or even try to change.
so you should cut your loses while you can and find someone who is on the same page.
2007-10-03 16:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Hey U, Yeah U..Get over here 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best thing to do in this situation is to sit down and talk about all ur problems and y they keep happening and if they can be fixed than ur home free but if not i would reconsider the breaking up because u don't want to live ur life with the same problems always coming up and causeing a problem...
good luck =]
2007-10-03 16:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by !~!GoTHPuNkChICk!~! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is a pointless effort. i'm cought up in the same situation. and i have realized that no matter how hard i try to make it work, it won't! because he is not really trying. eventually you come to a point where you just don't care anymore.
2007-10-03 16:04:00 · answer #10 · answered by me, me, and me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋