My daughter died at birth.......?

Question

in april. i desperatly want to be able to make contact with her. I just don't know whether it is to early to talk to her or not. I have been told by a minister that when babies die they become young children in heaven. like a 5 year old or something. the other thing I am worried about is that if she came to speak to me she might not get back to heaven. I dont know alot about this stuff. I just miss her so much and need reassurance that she is with me, if she is with me. If she can't talk to me I'd even be happy anough for her to 'haunt me'. move a few things or hear her about. sorry for going on a bit. thanks in advance xoxoxo

thank you for your kid words. some of your comments made me cry. i have taken in what yous have said. That is another reason why i am weary about talking to her. I am a christian and i know it is wrong. Im just being selfish and I know I shouldnt. I also know that other evil spirits could come through and trick me, pretend to be my little one. Thats another thing I really don't want. When I was younger I had an evil spirit in my room and that was from my mum doin ouija board years before. anyway...I cant decide what to do. for the time being i will just leave it. I do talk to her all the time, visit her grave regularly and light candles for her. she is deffinatley not forgotten and I know my other daughter Faith talks to her sometimes. Faith is 2 and doesnt understnd much. but i often hear her talkin to megan (my angel). she is always asking when can we go see meagn. just today sh looked outside (weather is rubbish) and told me megan sd she is cold.I do take comfort faith 'talkn' 2 her

Answer 1

Please accept my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss! Have you thought instead of contacting her "on the other side" by remembering her here. I lost a child late into pregnancy and I had a ceremony for her. I gave her name and planted a hydrangea bush at my parents home in her honor. My parents actually moved 2 years ago and I went and dug the bush up and brought it with me. I also started collecting angels. It started with one that was supposed to symbolize my child and through out the years the collections has grown. I also still celebrate her birthday(the day she died). Although that is a personal day for me and I am the only one that celebrate. It has been 11 years since I lost my child and I now have a wonderful daughter that is going on 10, I never forget my first baby. Going to speak to a minister is a wonderful idea or a therapist would be good. You have a lot to deal with and you don't have to go through it alone. Although not many have faced what you are facing I am sure your friends or family would love to be there for you to talk with, just to get it out. Don't forget that crying and grieving is a healthy part of the healing process.

God Bless you and if ever you need to talk I would be honored to talk with you.

Answer 2

I'm a clairvoyant but before I answer your question I just want to point a few things out. I'm not a practising medium in that I don't have people round to the house for readings or anything. I don't agree with profitting from it. I'm also not out to convert anyone and I respect every person's own beliefs.

First of all I have to say how much I feel for you. I've never been through this myself but I almost lost a baby during the birth and that was traumatic enough. From what I understand about the other side babies grow up in much the same way as they would in the physical world and I'm sure you have an elderly female relative over there who is caring for your little girl. A homely figure who baked on Sundays and had a shiny face and who was almost always smiling around children. She was dearly missed when she passed.

Your daughter probably won't haunt you as such but I'm sure you'll see her around. At least you will sense her - the smell of baby powder or something equally as distinctive and relative to babies. Rest assured she is fine where she is and although you can't be with her right now she is in the best place imaginable. She's not suffering. You are right to think it is too soon for her to contact you. It's hard work for them to come through and when they do it has to coincide to when you're receptive to it.

And please sweetheart don't worry about tearing your baby away from heaven - that just won't happen. She's perfectly safe where she is and I know that's little comfort at this difficult time but she is safe - you have to be sure of that - and she always will be.

I hope you're getting some bereavement counselling too as although you might think they can't begin to understand where you're coming from, they probably have been through something similar. I remember reading about a TV personality whose sister had sadly taken her own life. At the hospital a bereavement counsellor paid the family a visit and they turned on her saying "and what do you know about anything". This lady then said that some years before she'd lost her husband and two children in a road accident and in an instant she'd lost everyone that knew anything about her. She had no other family. Chances are any counsellor you speak to has no doubt had a traumatic experience and they happen to be very good at what they do.

April is not so long ago and your mind is no doubt going crazy but hold on in there - it will get better. It never goes away - a friend of mine lost her first child at 5 months old to meningitis and she still misses her now and she's since had other children. Wounds leave scars that's for sure but don't worry about your little girl. She's perfectly safe and I'm sure she'll know just how much her mum loves her and misses her.

I hope you start to feel a little better soon. I'll be thinking about you. All the best C x

Answer 3

I can only send you all my love. this is truly the most awful thing that anyone can go through.

Your daughter will always be your little girl. You don't need a medium to contact her. Please don't think she's not with you because she is. You are a mummy. Celebrate her birthday. Make sure your family send you a mother's day card and a "Happy Birthday Mummy" card etc on her behalf! Talk to her. Keep her close to you. Even though she is not physically with you she will always be your beautiful little girl and you will always be her darling mummy. She loves you very much and doesn't want you to be sad.

I feel that you really need some counselling to help you through, rather than torturing yourself about whether your daughter is a child in heaven or not.

Your baby girl is with you and always will be. You don't need any spiritualist to tell you that.

xx

Answer 4

Im very sorry to hear that you lost your baby. It must be very tramatic for you. Well honestly, no one knows what happens after we pass so how can your minister know that your baby will be 5 years old on the outher side. Perhaps she is? but know one could know. Your daughter will always be with you if you carry her in your heart. mabey she contacts you in dreams. Spirits of loved ones often do. you dont need her to haunt you in order to know tht shes with you because as long as shes in your heart then she will always be with you. If not her spirit, her memory. Maby she just wasnt ment to live a life on this earth. Mabey she was spared from a bad fate? I do beleive that everything happens for a reason. You can only hope that shes in a better place, It might have been her destiny to go and be in heaven. Good luck to you. you have to carry on. If she does visit you, im sure thats what she would want for you.

Answer 5

I'm an atheist so don't believe in heaven and in our souls still existing after we die. But I can understand how people who are grieving find comfort in this concept.

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I just hope you don't spend so much time hung up on trying to contact your daughter in heaven, that you forget about the one who needs you here on earth.

There are many ways to feel that your daughter is still with you. Such as planting a tree in the garden in her memory. I know it's a bit early, but at some point you are going to have to move on with your life. I know it's harsh, but your other daughter needs you.

If you feel more comfortable going to a medium then go. But I do worry that there are some unscrupulous charlatans out there who pray on vulnerable people like you.

Answer 6

I feel for you..my daughter died 9 days after she was born. She would have been turning 6 this year. I can say the first year is the hardest and it does get easier. I would suggest a support group to go to for bereaved parents so you don't feel like you are the only one going through losing a child. Also I feel comfort and I am sure you do as well just talking to her. I believe my daughter comes in my dreams to me and also in things I see. Her middle name is Rose so whenever I see a rose I know it's her way of saying hello. She is with you always even if you don't see anything physical...I am sure you can just sense it sometimes.

Answer 7

my sympathies, you have suffered the worst thing any parent possible can, to lose a child.

I don't profess to be an expert in these matters but I believe from what I have read and heard that those who have past, aren't able to come back to us, until we have truly let them go from this world. You are still in shock and carrying much pain for you daughter and maybe haven't been able to let go of her completely yet. If you haven't been to grief counselling, perhaps you should consider that, and be ready to move on, and then you will be in a better position to see the signs your daughter leaves you.

Answer 8

I understand your distress but it seems as if you are clinging to hope an something that may never be, we would all love to contact loved ones that have passed and I totally understand that. I think you need counselling and help to get over your loss then in time you will know in your heart she is always with you - just don't live in hope you will be able to make contact as it will always be a cruel blow or an endless task trying to achieve this. Use the time to show her that you are a brave special person and though you miss her so much you will be together one day.

Answer 9

i really feel for u.but i dont know if a physic is the thing to do..3 yrs ago i lost my son aged 6 weeks and i wanted to go to a physic as well,but in the end i knew i was foolin mysel..if u can find ease by all means do it but sometimes itcould make u worse..losin a baby is the worst possible thing in the world. i know i been there before and just when i thought things were lookin brighter i miscarried 17 weeks ago after ttc for 18 months.nothin can prepare u for the after days when u lose ur child. take each day at a time.talk to her..go to her grave..there is a website called gone too soon,there u can leave messages for her and light candles.i have one there for my son and i love visitin it..just so in a strange way that i think they can read them..grieve works in a different way in us all.do wat u feel is right.no one can really tell u how to cope...ur daughter is there watchin down on u and makin sure u get thru losin her..she is in heaven lookin down..always preotectin u..always believe they r there watchin over us..because someone once told me that our babies are too special for this earth and god took them to make him garden soo beautiful..i read this book livin with leo,and this father claimed that god looked the whole world over to find two special parents who could look after this precious angel.so think of urself as special bcos god chose u to have an angel.i know it aint easy to think like this but its sometimes how i can thru the many dark bleak days..i hope u find some comfort in my words...god bless xx

Answer 10

small children do tend to have an ability to see what we don't, take comfort from your daughter that the angel is ok. i too lost a baby and my husbands first wifes baby was still born. i take comfort that they are playing together having fun.
i'm really sorry for your loss, mine was over 18years ago now and i still grieve. on mothers day two years ago i prayed for a sign from my heaven child and when i went to get a bath i saw a perfect formed heart of bubbles. they will find their own ways of getting through, we have to be ready for that. xx