Falling for my best mate and he knows it and now its driving us apart?

Question

every month i get that feeling that im falling for my bestmate. and everytime i kinda tell him he tells me to stop being silly or somthing similur. everytime this happends i end up getting really sad cos i know he probly dont feel the same about me, hes told me that i mean more then a friend to him but theres no point doing anything about it because the major thing is we live in a diffrent country to eachother. in my last relationship i moved to greece to be with my ex, i met my bestfriend from the internet. he means so much to me that i get really worred about losing him, this is why i feel the need to tell him how much he means to me. but i go to far and i know its pushing him away. i need some control here. someone please tell me how i am spose to control myself when we talk to eachother. oh and btw i have a boyfriend (been togeterr for a year), but iv fallen for my best friend for almost 2 or three years now. wheni split with my ex i should have made the move with my mate then!

Answer 1

Nope actually. See what your doing is the right way, what you've done up to this point is the wrong way that culture has taught us. Namly, THAT LOVERS CAN EVER BECOME FRIENDS!!! It just doesn't work that way, BUT friends can become great lovers.... AS LONG AS YOU REMEMBER THIS!!! Friendship is a relationship based on UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! There is no conditions, like lets say since your friends, if he sleeps with someoen, do you stop loving him? Now if you become lovers, you comment, then theres a CONDITION! Guess what that does to the love? IT BECOMES CONDITIONAL LOVE! So thats why you most be carful, going down this path is natural but its also the HARDEST, because if he isn't true, if your not true (true means that you have a purpose in life and you stand by it, you'll die for it even) the friendship and the new relationship will end. But if you guys can find a purpose with each other, and use that love you already share to CONTINUE to allow your unique and personal relationship grow, well only god can stop you..... and why would he stop that? I've gotten close to making this work once, but its EXTREMELY INTENSE if down right, your history, your insecurities, your hang-ups, YOU come out as the true you, and if your hurt, damaged, sub-conciously weak, well problems will arise, but if your both willing to fight, I swear to you, its the way it was met to be....

Answer 2

Have an certainly communique jointly with your husband. Ask him what is going on, and if has a topic the two emotionally or bodily. verify if he's in any drugs, or taking any. If he's likewise seeing a psychiatrist or some thing alongside those lines. some drugs could make him experience traumatic at time for no reason. If that isn't the case, and if he nevertheless does not open up and share his suggestions to you. i'm afraid to enable you to comprehend that there is not something lots you're able to do. you're able to do 2 issues, the two stay and be numb at what he does or what he say. or you are able to go away and tell him you will in elementary terms come returned if he substitute into the previous husband which you married 10 years in the past. human beings substitute, this is a actuality. you're able to flow on, no remember if it fairly is not for you, a minimum of to your son.