I just broke up with my first boyfriend! help!!?

Question

i went out with this guy for only 2 and a half weeks and like a week later i didnt have the same feelings for him. SO today i wrote him a note, that was me breaking up with him and i gave it to him in the pickline at school right when i was about to leave. we driving away and i saw him reading it and he looked soooo sad, and i feel terrible. i dont want to get back together with him, but i didnt want to hurt his feelings. we used to be good friends, and now im afraid he wont want to be anymore. anyway is there any advice. even though im not sad that i broke up with him, it makes me sad to see him sad. i feel really terrible, and i need some breakup advice. thanks soooooo much.

Answer 1

Well it happens I did it to a boy in highschool I felt so bad breaking up with him that I couldnt even do it myself for fear of feeling the way you describe yourself feeling. The best advice would be to just be there if he wants to talk but do not show that you feel bad for him that might upset him more because he would think your just feeling sorry for him. Give him time he will come around and when he does he will choose to be your friend again. It might be awkward at first but if the friendship was a strong one then you will pick up that bond quickly.

Answer 2

Well it's to be expected that he's hurt a little. Mainly it's his pride, but he'll be alright. If you want to continue a friendship with him you should let him know that right away. Start conversations with him and let him know it's deffinately a friendship thing and not a romantic thing. If you wait too long you could cause more hard feelings than intended. For future reference it's not a great idea to break up with a letter or text message or phone call. You should have the guts to do it in person or else maybe you're not mature enough to be dating in the first place. It's just really immature and can be more hurtful. I don't mean to say that you're immature or anything just want to let you know that letters are not good for breaking up with someone.

Answer 3

Okay - breaking up with a guy in a NOTE is just ... well, it's just not cool.

At this point - all he could do is read what you have to say & he couldn't say anything in response. There was no discussion - no communication... just you TELLING him that y'all are broken up now.

Go and talk to him ... he's going to be hurt & angry (which he has every right to be) ... let him know that you'd like to stay friends (but only if he'd like that, too). He may not want to be your friend because you've hurt him & he needs time to work through his feelings.

If y'all were good friends BEFORE you got together in a "dating" scenario, then you might be able to recover a friendship out of it.

Give him room... give him time... let him know that you still care about him (as a friend) and that your friendship will be there for him if he wants that.

Answer 4

Here is my 2 cents and I urge you to go back and talk to him in person. You may be able to save this relationship and have a good friend back. Meanwhile, prepare for the worst and do what you can. You know what you want and be civilize when you are dealing with his feeling. If thing goes right you will feeling better but, do not expect positive outcome too much. Now get going to have your friendship back. I am sure you know what to do.

Answer 5

Give him some time and let him get over with it. in the mean time see if you can talk to him and be friends. but i m wondering what made you break up with him, if u were that concerned about his feelings, u wouldnt have break up with him at first place. After breakups sometimes guys tend to stick around as friend or they wont see that girl again. if u want to help him get over with it, tell him that he is too precious to be lost as a friend, so u just to be friends with him and never leave him. whereas in bf and gf relationship lot of possibilities of losing eachother. best of luck

Answer 6

Of course you're sad. He was your first boyfriend, that's special. There is no "quick fix" for this one, no antidote. And yes, things are going to change between you. The friendship that you had before no longer exists, and a new post-dating sort of friendship has cropped up in its place. These feelings of guilt and sadness will go away on their own, just don't get too down about it while you do feel bad.

Answer 7

Don't feel bad. In this situation your feelings need to come first not his. You will come to see that this stuff happens ALL THE TIME and you need to have thick skin (he does too). If you don't you will let people bring you down. Also this is a prime example of why you shouldn't date good friends. Ending it is harder on everyone.

Answer 8

My best advice to you would have to be....

first tell him how you feel. make sure he knows WHY your breaking up with him. just simply say that you havent felt the same way about him anymore.

[if he thinks its because something else, he prob. wont want to be friends again]

next explain to him that you still want to be friends! just say "i liked you as my boyfriend, but i liked you even BETTER as my friend!" & mention something like "oh we should go to the game this friday, but just as friends"

Later- continue to call him weekly. you said that you want to be his friend, so in order not to lie to the boy, you need to still keep in touch as friends. so call him, IM him, talk alot in school.

if you do the above things stated, i ashure you will be good friends & have absolutely so awkward moments.


ps: when i say "tell him" DONT IM him or email or anything. atleast call him.

good luck hope this helped! :]

Answer 9

First mistake: Instead of telling him face to face, you wrote a letter
Second mistake: You think you can still be friends after a breakup. Most likely, you can't.

Learn from these mistakes and move on.

Answer 10

I think you did the right thing and for you to feel compassion for him is good. Give him some time to accept the change in relationship and approach him about remaining friends. Good luck!