Is this a "shallow" reason to save $ and pay off my bills early?

Question

I'VE JUST ABOUT HAD IT WITH PEOPLE DOUBTING THAT I'D BE A GOOD PARENT, DESPITE ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE MY AGE HAVING KIDS & IT BEING OK FOR THEM. I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME TO "GET AN ABORTION" AS IF IT'S THE ONLY SENSIBLE OPTION DURING THE TIME I HAD A PREGNANCY SCARE. I want to prove that I AM very capable of raising a kid.

Therefore, I am on a 12-mo. plan. I am working extra hard to build up savings, pay off student loans & credit cards early, & put myself in a spot so that by the time my 12-mo plan is complete, I will be financially secure enough to afford having a kid without having to work more than 1 job. The savings will include money allotted for hypothetical prenatal visits, baby supplies, etc. This is the best hypothetical way that I can prepare for being a parent. There's other preparation too(such as babysitting for my friends' babies), but I'm focusing on the financial end here, since everyones' #1 concern last time was me not being financially able enough to.

Now before you say "Is this the only reason you want to pay your bills, b/c you care what people think about you??" let me explain. I have good credit. I've always been super conscientious about paying my bills & paying more than the minimum on my loans. So proving to myself that I am indeed capable of affording a baby, is NOT the only reason that I am paying off my credit cards & student loans early.

I want to prove to myself, & maybe that will make me a more confident person so that other people see it too. I'm not saying I want to have a baby at the end of my 12-mo. program; I just want to show that I'd be capable if put in that situation. I'm 24 yrs old, dammit...I'm not some immature dependent 16-yr-old. Yet people--time and time again--keep mocking me about having a kid, even tho they're cool w/ their friends having kids. It's pathetic and embarrassing. It's as bad as the time my friends made fun of me at age 17 & said they can't imagine me being ready to have sex. >:(

TO SINGINGANDDANCING: Just because I am budgeting to have a kid, does NOT mean that I am intending to have a kid. Having a kid just for the sake of proving what people think of me to be wrong, is a silly and absurd reason to have a kid. All I am doing is PREPARING, so that I can feel confident that--in the event that I became pregnant--that I'd be more than able to carry through with pregnancy and raising one.

My budget preparation is analogous to a preteen girl carrying a maxipad in her purse, in preparation for the event that she may get her 1st period while at school or in public. It's also analogous to a high school student researching a future career field, & preparing for it by taking appropriate courses, planning what colleges to someday attend, etc.

All I am doing is PLANNING. I want to prove to myself that I am CAPABLE...I don't necessarily need to have a kid to prove this.

Answer 1

There is nothing, NOTHING wrong with you paying off your bills and being a responsible person!

I am the same way. I pay all my bills on time and i pay the WHOLE balance off every month. I have two credit cards and my balance each month for the both of them is around 1500 bucks. I put alot on my credit cards, (mostly medical bills) and i always pay it off. My girlfriend gets mad at me because i never spend much money. Well, i pay my bills so i can have good credit when it comes time to get a nice car and a house.

I am 23 years old and people always ask why i am so uptight about my money. Really, just dont worry about what other people think about what you are doing. It is your life and you're responsible for your actions. You sound like you are very responsible and mature. I think its great that you have a 12 month plan. Make sure you keep it up and im sure someone will take notice of it.

Like i said, dont worry what other people think about you.

Answer 2

Do you really want people's opinions? What if you don't like them?

Well first, I wouldn't keep spending time with people who mock me. Seriously, pick better friends. No one deserves to be mocked.

I think your financial plan is very responsible. However, I think having a baby just to prove anything is irresponsible. Do you feel ready to be a parent? Why? How? Have you considered what a child might need? Have you spoken with any kids/teenagers/adults who were borne and raised by women who didn't want to wait for an acceptable father to be in the picture? What do they tell you about how their lives were? If you're still determined to be a parent alone, how can you apply your obviously considerable planning skills to making up for no father?

I don't know, these are just some of the things I'd be thinking of.

Answer 3

All that matters is how YOU feel. Don't listen to any of those people. In time, you will prove them wrong. Pregnancy changes people...sometimes for the better....I know from personal experiences. If you feel you are ready, that's all that matters. This is your life not theirs. I had the same issues when I was pregnant. I have four children now, and I don't regret it one bit. The money issue may have been a struggle at first, but now I own a house, own a business, and graduated from college. It will all work out in the end. I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Just listen to your heart, and do what you feel is right.