Hi,
I have a boyfriend since 8 months. Neither of us was virign when we met but neither of us has had any sexual relations with anyone since we met.
He cares for me and buys me gifts like jewels, chocolate, wine, etc. But he has never attempted to kiss me or even remotely suggest sex.
I am very keen to make love with him. I wonder if he is really interested in me. If I tell him directly to hit the sack, he might percieve me as a lose woman.
I am sure he is not a gay. He had a live in relationship a few years ago.
How do I ask him if he is not interested in sex with me or with anyone? Without making him feel insecure or making me look like a hooker?
2007-10-03 05:31:58 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have you asked him what are his beliefs on sex? Maybe he took a new leaf and decided to wait until marriage. I think after 8 months, you two can talk openly about these things.
2007-10-03 05:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by CC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just make sure you guys go out more, and do things you both enjoy. If he enjoys being with you then he will value you as a partner. Of course, if you are not ready for full-on sex, you can do role plays and just turn him on, if you have no problems with that. You can dress up, or strip for him. Only do this if YOU want to, and don't give in to the pressure. Just tell him, if he feels disappointed or unhappy about your decision concerning sex, he is free to leave the relationship because it is something you cannot do until you feel comfortable, and you do not want him to be in an unhappy relationship. It's a tough one Ms, but there is no easy way out of it, and if this becomes a problem, you guys will have to have the talk. Usually turning men on and doing sexy things keeps his tongue wagging, so maybe you can try that to stall the whole sex question for a little while. Like I said before, you are not a piece of meat, and it is not your sole purpose in life to please men, so if you don't want to do any of this, don't give in to the pressure. Hope this helps.
2016-05-19 23:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He most likely has hangups relating to the live-in. Sex is all about emotion, especially with someone you have known for 8 months. Just ask him about his past, see what you can figure out. If he does have that kind of baggage, he definitely needs someone to work through it with, because he clearly can't do it on his own.
If he is unwilling to talk about his past, or sex in general, then make the first move. That may be what he is waiting for, or if not it may jar him from his reverie and make him face whatever issues it is he is ignoring. Be careful though, it is very important not to cross too far over his boundaries - they are there for a reason, and need to be disassembled not blown apart.
2007-10-03 05:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by Exosus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex with someone ties them together on a very deep level. Maybe he just doesn't want to get hurt like that again or risk hurting you. Maybe he loves you and respects you enough to wait. Maybe you should respect him the same way. If he is limiting contact with you no doubt he is attracted and doesn't want the relationship to go there yet. If you love him be patient and wait, what's the hurry? It will be all the sweeter when it does happen.
2007-10-03 05:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Connie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been together 8 months and you aren't even close enough to him to know how to bring up the subject of sex then it's time to move on.
Something is not right if you've been together 8 months, haven't had sex yet, and haven't even DISCUSSED the situation.
I'm sorry, but are you sure that he consideres you guys to be in a romantic relationship?
2007-10-03 05:36:10 · answer #5 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him to hit the sack. Being with a guy for 8 months and wanting to have sex does not make you loose.
My god, who even thinks about that any more! Just give it a shot, he might be holding off because you're holding off.
Let the chemistry flow woman, I promise you after nearly a year of celebacy you are far from being loose!
2007-10-03 05:35:59 · answer #6 · answered by karmacake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow girl...to go 8 months without sex...what is he a plant!?
that is very very strange...i will remind you that most guys start of with sex and then build a relationship...those who want to build a relationship first then would move onto sex (but it certainly shouldnt take 8 months)
i think he has some sort of issue, possible small penis, or problems getting excited (might be gay).
whatever it is, you should push him into having sex with you and if he rejects you, then that is a tall tell sign that something is majorly wrong!
2007-10-03 05:40:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no words need to be said u know .. actions speak more than a thousand words.... dress real sexy ... be real playful with him and tease him a little bit.. u dont need to wait for him to make the move u should know what ur workin with .... in the other hand it sounds like hes takin u very seriouly and he might not want sex because he might think its too soon and he wants to respect u ,.. think about it .. u either wait untill he wants some or u cant make him get some ^_^
2007-10-03 05:36:38 · answer #8 · answered by .·.¹³ LaSh3s¹³.·. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
invite him for a nice dinner at your place. talk to him about where you think this should go. make him feel HOTT. tell him that its been 8 months and u want to move to the next level. that u feel really comfortable with him but make sure to add "but if you feel we should wait a bit longer than im ok with that". i know its frustrating. my BF did that for a while but it turns out he wanted to all along. he was just scared he was going to scare me away. he said that as much as he wanted to share that with me, he didnt want to make that seem more important than anything else. so just talk to him. u know ur not a hooker but if he makes u feel like one, than hes not a good catch anyway. but im almost certain that he will say that he feels the same way he just doesnt want to disrespect u in anyway. goodluck babe! and have fun!
2007-10-03 05:41:49 · answer #9 · answered by Leah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By your boyfriend not even attempting to kiss you is an indication of a real serious problem with him. He most likely has deep inner reasons for avoiding any sexual intimacy with you, as to why is not clear. Of course you need to talk to him about this. He is your boyfriend and you need to be open about your feelings without the fear of him judging you. Hopefully by you initiating the conversation he will be able to open up to you for his reasons of the lack of affection he has displayed. I feel the problem is with him and not you. It will be difficult for you to get him to open up about this but staying quiet will not help either. Best of luck to you!
2007-10-03 05:39:13 · answer #10 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋