Need help with guests that invited themselves over!?

Question

Okay I'm in a situation where an older couple from my sunday meeting asked if they can come over and me and my husband just moved into our apartment so we aren't exactly ready for guests but she is very insistant, has some mental problems like bipolar and paranoia and has flipped out on people before for putting off having them over. So anyways, they are in their 60's and we are in our 20's. I am not good with entertaining guests, let alone ones in such a different age bracket and I have no idea what to have for lunch. They will be following us home after our sunday meeting so probably 1pm, and I won't have time to cook but they will definately be hungry and I need some ideas on what to set out for everyone to pick at but be somewhat filling - not junk food - not expensive, and easy to make. I want to prepare it the night before so it's ready for that day and I'm just stumped. Even ready prepared stuff is great too from the store. If you have any suggestions I'd REALLY appreciate it!

The thing is she was just diagnosed with cancer and she asked if she can come over because she needs someone to talk to. I'm not about to turn her down! What if I was in her situation?

Answer 1

I Agree with Tab H, he has given some excellent advice for lunch.

Have a talk with your pastor about this problem and he may be able to intervene for you. Invite the pastor to launch that same day and tell him why. The pastor will be able to coax them out of your house when lunch is over.

"Ann Landers once said " when guests stay to late in the evening simply tell them you're going to bed and do so.

Answer 2

I would talk to someone about these people. Your pastor(if the Sunday meeting is church) or someone who knows them. If they are unstable like that you don't need them in your life. We had a neighbor who was bipolar and later found out she had schizophrenia. I tried to be kind to her, but it really backfired. I thought she was just a bit off, but harmless. She ended up telling the neighborhood that I was sleeping with her ex-husband. She told friends that were coming to my house that my husband beat me, and that I had taken it out on the kids and consequently hit them. I was late getting home one day, and she told my kids that I had been in an accident and was in the hospital. All of this had not even a grain of truth to it. It was embarrassing and scary. It got to be a real nightmare. The kids were terrified, and they didn't know what to believe or what was going on. We couldn't sell our house, and she wasn't moving. I finally called the police to see what to do, and they said if she was that unstable to contact Health & Welfare. Which I did. She moved out about a month later, but I have since found out that she finally got the help she needed. Just be careful. Even medicated bipolar people can still have episodes, and it can be harmful to people that are near them. For now, since they are already coming, toss a roast, some potatos and carrots in a crock pot, before your meeting. Or look online for crock pot recipes. The other thing you can do is just hoagie sandwiches and some potato salad. Simple and can be bought at a store. Have a veggie tray until lunch is ready for them to pick at. Maybe you can play cards for entertainment. Good luck, and be careful.

Answer 3

To be perfectly honest, bipolar disorder and paranoia aside, I would've simply told her and her husband the truth and let them know I wasn't able to entertain guests yet. Why should you have to be put under such pressure when you're not even prepared for it yet? And why can't this woman's husband talk some sense into her? Seriously, tell these people te truth and let them get over it. So what if they get upset? They shouldn't be disrespecting you like that! Stick to your guns, trust me.

EDIT: So, the fact that she has cancer gives her the right to impose on you? NO! I stick beside my above answer. As I said, sick or not, I still would've told her you're not ready to entertain yet.

Answer 4

Having cancer doesn't give her the right to budge in on people's home. Don't encourage her if you don't like having her over on a regular basis.
The worst thing to do is to feed her well when she's at your place. The less you serve her the better. Offer her a soda/tea/coffee and a cupcake. After she has finished the food, tell her to go home and rest since she's sick. Tell her she needs more rest at home.

Answer 5

hummus is good. buy it then stick in a bowl and some nice pita bread to go with it. heck get whole bunch of dips from the freezer section of your supermarket. or some fresh bread and little bowls of cheese and tomatos and aspargus and stuff then everyone can just make their own sandwiches how they like them. some grapes and other yummy fruit. and i think its off how they insist on coming around when you have just moved in. next time suggest that you all meet somewhere for coffee or whatever cos you have just moved and are not organised for guests yet. that is perfectly acceptable.

Answer 6

You can:

1. Tell them you aren't ready to have guests over.
2. Tell them you already have plans for Sunday lunch.
3. Tell her you can come to HER house on XX night.
4. Tell her she can meet you at XX for a coffee and chat.

There are so many ways to get out of this kind of situation. We always just tell people we have other plans. Don't elaborate--it's none of their business. Just say, "I have something else I have to do." They don't have to know that means that you want to go upstairs and take a nap. You're just telling them that there's something else you want to do.

If you DO get stuck with having someone come over when you really don't want company, DON'T MAKE THEM COMFORTABLE! If you make them comfortable, they'll want to stay. That means, don't feed them, don't turn on the TV, etc. I mean, don't even offer them something to drink. I know that seems rude, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

Plus, if she has mental problems, and you let her start coming over to your house, she may go wacko and then you'll just have extra drama. She'll latch onto you and then you'll never get rid of her!

Just tell them that you'll meet them at Ryan's for lunch after Church!

Answer 7

What a challenge you have! I don't like "drop in" visitors, nor to I like people who invite themselves. Why don't you, as another posted, run this by your Pastor, either inviting him over too or getting his suggestions on how to handle this situation.

If you do decide to have them over this one time, you can make up a few sandwiches the night before...maybe some egg and canned chicken or ham...throw on a few pickles...and that's it. At least you're being kind to them, especially if she has problems that she wants to talk over with someone.

But I wouldn't let her invite herself over a second time. If she brings it up, tell her that it's not convenient for you to receive visitors after church, that you and your husband usually make plans for the afternoon.

gere

Answer 8

Hmm why are you giving in to her request if you aren't ready to have guests over? If she has a mental problem all you are doing is enabling her. Tell them you haven't finished unpacking and will have a house warming party at a later date. Don't let them bully you into letting them into your home,that is your space. You are under no obligation to have them over or feed them. The woman needs to learn some boundaries.

Answer 9

that is why i do no longer approve of reaction playing cards. those playing cards do hosts an rather good disservice by utilizing denying hosts the prospect to assert "i'm sorry, there is a few false impression; the invitation is for Homer and Marge Simpson. Lisa isn't on the shopper record." The hosts, and not the visitors, are responsible of the shopper record and make the options as to who will and is only no longer welcome to their hospitality. This woman might want to correctly be properly meaning, wondering this replaced into this kind of celebration the position hosts might want to be desirous to have as many attendees as plausible. you would possibly want to call her and thank her for providing to carry her daughter, yet you're regrettably unable to strengthen the invitation to contain the youngsters, and also you seem ahead to seeing Mr and Mrs at your wedding ceremony. do no longer element out something about which incorporates daughter if someone might want to cancel. do no longer element out something about value. you want no longer make an apology or clarify. this is YOU who're the injured celebration, so why do you would possibly want to be feeling badly? this is that this couple, and not you, who might want to be feeling awkward! in case you later settle on to ask the daughter, that would want to correctly be a gracious and beneficiant of you, yet do not enable yourselves be "guilt tripped" and manipulated by utilizing those who attempt to placed you into an ungainly position.

Answer 10

Consider crazy old people like vampires...once they've entered over your threshold, they will always come back. My home is my den, my cave, my place of safety and no way would I tolerate anyone invited themselves over.
But if you insist. Just make up some sandwhiches with some sort of macaroni or potato salad. Keep it simple.