My girlfriend have been jealous about each other's past. I had a drunken one night stand a few years ago. She had a friend with benefits her sophomore year of college, and again three years later. I told her that I learned from my mistake and didn't do that. It hurts me that she made her same mistake again three years later. Which is worse?
2007-10-03 04:17:59 · 30 answers · asked by marky p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A friend with benefits isn't a mistake. What's the issue? I'd say a drunken one night stand is worse because drunks tend to subject themselves to STDs and who knows what, because their judgement is impared.
Adults having sex isn't a big deal if the people are responsible, mature, available, and being safe about it.
If you and she were each single when these events happened, then there should be no issue. No cheating occured, and one's sexual past is their business. The only reason it should be your (or her) business is if the behavior puts ones partner at risk for an STD.
2007-10-03 04:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that a drunk one night stand is worst until I read on and your girlfriend has made the same decision twice, I will not call it a mistake unless that is the way she views it. However, at least the one night stand happened once and was over and done with. The friend with benefits is a more on going thing and really is not a bad thing when both parties are in agreement that this is what they want. But if it is viewed as a mistake in her eyes and then she went and did it again then that would make that one much worse than the one night stand. But it seems to me that you have learned your lesson and she has not. Maybe you should tell her you are going to get a friend with benefits and see what her response is, sometimes when your on the receiving end of something you view it completely different than when your dishing it out. What ever happens I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck and hopefully everythings works out for the best!
2007-10-03 04:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by chema129 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've had both and believe a drunken one night stand is worse. At least when having a friend with benefits, you know the person you are being intimate with and hopefully won't pick up a STD. Having a friend with benefits usually doesn't work because there is an emotional attachment as well for one of the people. They are just in denial and are hoping for more than being a friend with benefits. You should both let the past go and not talk about previous partners.
2007-10-03 04:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by busymomma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well friends with benefits is more safe then a drunk one night stand but there is always something you never tell people and that's something I would of kept a secret so she didn't have anything to worry about with you but you already told her so now you have a problem and that is insecurity if you guys love each other then you shouldn't have to worry every one has a drunk one night stand. When I was in school I had them all the time and a friend with benefits as well but that was when I was single and there was now strings attached but hey that's college life. But there is somethings you gotta keep to your self to keep things like this from happening. When I was in a 4 year relationship I loved her so much that I didn't have time to party she was my life when I wasn't working or sleeping I was with her. I miss her so much but that's another story. Now if she loves you like I loved my ex then she will not do anything to compromise your relationship and same with you. Just sit her down and tell her how you feel about her and you wouldn't do anything to mess it up and ask her if she feels the same. You guys need to trust each other because with out trust your relationship will be a rocky and hurt full one.
2007-10-03 04:54:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in terms of safety that a drunken one night stand is worse because two drunk horny people are less likely to use protection than two friends who go into a sexual relationship sober.
You two need to stop dwelling on the past and concentrate on how much you love each other instead of bringing up things that shouldn't be affecting your present life in such negative ways.
2007-10-03 04:23:32 · answer #5 · answered by Wicked Wanda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both are just as bad. You could go out again and have a one night stand and she could tell you that her and a guy are "just friends" but leave out the benefits part when she really is doing it. Never discuss the past with another partner.
2007-10-03 04:23:29 · answer #6 · answered by solelone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it does not make you a whore. you're a healthy female with established thoughts. human beings in intense college label one yet another with shltty names because of the fact they have not got any social skills and are emotionally immature. there is not something incorrect with having extra advantageous than one intercourse important different. on a similar time as i think of a sparkling intercourse important different on a daily basis of the week is somewhat intense, having had some intercourse companions via the time a man or woman is 20, isn't uncommon. additionally having no intercourse companions via the time a man or woman is 20 isn't uncommon the two. you spot, all of us is diverse. there is not something "incorrect with" intercourse. i don't think of that advertising our intercourse lives or letting others comprehend approximately our companions is an exceedingly smart concept. some issues are private and private. on a similar time as i've got not got lots use for a acquaintances with advantages courting, some human beings are happy with this. the reason i can't indulge contained in the kind of courting is as a results of the fact i think of thoughts many times get entangled and somebody gets injury. specific we are in a position to get injury in a "established" courting too, yet FWB is a collection as much as determine somebody gets injury -- cuz it many times occurs. You do despite the fact that works for you. some human beings are super with FWB, yet till now you get into some thing like that ensure you and the guy have a communicate so which you're on the comparable internet site. you at the instant are not a whore, for heaven sake!!
2016-11-07 03:43:49 · answer #7 · answered by scasso 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's past history - maybe you will both learn from this that it isn't wise to drag the past into the present unless it is necessary to do so. It isn't "hiding" things - it isn't the other person's business what happened before them and only harbors bad feelings. Why on earth would you have wanted to discuss this??
Why are you hurt? This has nothing at all to do with you. Maybe she did learn her lesson and then ended up with you.
2007-10-03 04:28:34 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A drunk one night stand. You are wasted and have no sense of really what's going on and can be dangerous. You can get an STD, prego, etc and then wondered what would've become of you if you didn´t do it. At least friend with benefits you are conscious of what you are doing and take better care of yourself cause all 5 senses are there....I'm not saying it's right but it's better then one night stand.
2007-10-03 04:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by Flaca 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What's wrong with a fwb? Why would you consider this a mistake? If two adults consent to it I don't see a problem.
I think a drunken one night stand it worse because fwb are usually monogamous.
2007-10-03 04:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋