I need an answer about being in the military?

Question

My son is in the Marines. My husband and I are very proud of our son. Here's my problem. Last winter, while my son was home for a layover, we went to a family funeral for an Aunt. I asked my son to wear his dress blues, in honor of both my Aunt and my uncle (they love and honor anyone who serves). Anyway, while there, a few of my 2nd cousins blitzed my son saying that only losers join the military, how stupid the war is, etc., etc. My son took the high road as this was neither the time nor the place to get into a political discussion and simply turned and walked away. These 2 girls are both in their mid 20's, are highly educated, but have severe "Princess" syndrome. We have a family reunion coming up, and I want to blast these two young ladies if they bring this up again. I want to enlighten them and make them feel bad at the same time. I'm having trouble coming up with what to say. I want to put these two in their place, but don't want to stoop to their level. What to say?

Answer 1

Many of us have been subjected to that form of talk.... not only recently but 40 years ago as well. There is really nothing you can say to change their minds. They are looking for something... anything to demean your son and the standards he has accepted as his way of life. Getting into a retaliatory mode will accomplish nothing for anyone concerned.

If you want to say anything to them.... just remind them that it is your son and so many others who have donned the uniform and stood up for the beliefs of America, who have given them the right to say what they want...believe what they want... and for a woman...to be educated to the level they have been educated. We... the lowly losers. We the ones who offer our lives, our youth, and our bodies so others don't have to do it.

Semper Fi to you, your husband...and to your son from a VERY old Marine.
Z
Capt. USMC Ret.

Answer 2

When I was a kid many years ago my grandparents had a women over from Yugoslavaia she would be gin to talk about here family and then she would just stop. Later grandma told us why. She got to see her brothers during WW2 shot and killed. The Germans came in and demanded all males join the service. They had lined them up, when they ask them to join and he said no he was shot right then and there, they went to the next person. The girls had to stand on the other side and watch this all take place. She also was afraid that they had a bug in her purse or clothes, grandma got a letter from her later on and the Gover took all of her pictures that she took while her in the states. Only let her have certan things. So in short whle at the family reunion look around you and see how much freedom you all have as a family and just how little they would have if Hitler or some of the others had taken over. Many men and women died for what we have today and they continue to do so each day. they can be happy with the fact of have the educaton they have today. Matter of fact if you see the movie shinler(sp)list a women comes up to a geramn officer and tells him that the building they are building is wrong. He wants to know how she knows this, because she is a very well educated person. Later you see them put her on her knees and put a bullet in her head becasue she was to smart. Now those two can walk down the street with there belly buttons periced tight jeans nice cars, good education, and snub there little princess noses at the men or women in uniform. If they don't like it here that much pack a bag and get on a plane to any country of their choice, spend a year or two and then come back maybe their eyes will open a little more. They just do not understand the taste and fear of death or freedom it is gone. Tell your son thanks and keep up the good work.

Answer 3

Dear Marine Mom,

I understand your desire not to stoop to the immature level of these two 'ladies', however I don't believe there is a high road that can be taken that doesn't reinforce this incredibly bad behavior on their part. As anybody here in the United States, they are entitled to have their opinions no matter how cruel and ill-considered they might be.

The real problem here is that they felt free to attack your son for his honorable service to our country at a family function. You do have the right to set certain standards of behavior at family functions, if these 'ladies' cannot control themselves for a couple of hours then you really shouldn't invite them. Make it clear to them that they are completely and totally out of line to attack your Son specifically or the military in general at a family function.

Stand up for your young Marine and let them know that their comments are unwelcomed, I'm sure that you'll find there are more members of your family who will back your stand against bad behavior should you decide to make it.

Best Wishes and all the best to your Son

Answer 4

With all the troubles and contensions that are natural in a family, I really woun't add to it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and there are certain things that should not be discussed in social settings - politics and religion. The service could be considered to be both. The best answer, I woulld think - if confronted , but not seeking it - is to say that it is someting that he believes in, you support him and that you are all happy with that decision. They should respect his choice as you respect their choice of not-supprting the war although you disagree with their opinion. Different opinions should not be a division between families, just an understanding that everyone has their own place to stand and that is that. You as a mother have a lot behind you when you say that you are proud of the choices that your son has made and loves this country, and then leave it at that. Good luck, you will never change someones opinion, just get them into an arguement - that doesn't go well with Jello salad.

Answer 5

First off, why invite them at all? It's a welcome home for your SON and the little princesses need not bring their air headedness into the celebration. They're clueless. They have no idea what the military man has secured for them and probably never will. It's pointless to invite them and likely to spoil an otherwise good family get together.

It's true that you can pick your friends but not your relatives, but you don't have to include your relatives in everything, especially if they are likely to dishonor your son's service in your home. That'd last about a New York minute in mine.

If you can't exclude them, ask them both if they got to choose the school and course they took in college. In many countries the students are told what to study, or else. Ask them if they voted for who they wanted in past elections. Ask them if they know anything about previous wars fought by men like your son that secured their freedom of speech. In many countries, people that speak out are sent to 're-education camps' or simply disappear.

There's many more you could ask but I fear the two princesses are so self involved that it would be better to talk to a wall. Speaking of walls, perhaps you could drag their over pampered butts to the Vietnam Memorial Wall. That might shut them up for a bit.

Good luck with your problem. Me, I'd have two fewer relatives.

Answer 6

I'm against the war but it doesn't mean that I would encourage anyone not to join.Everybody has a life and purpose of their own.He should not be judged by anyone especially the way the 2 so called"Divas" did.They should respect his decision.They should be proud of him.
He is not just sittin on his a** gossiping or having fun it's his
job.And it's not easy.If they were really highly educated then they would know the meaning for RESPECT. What your son did by walking away from them was right,because they are not worth it...

Answer 7

There is nothing that you can say that will change their minds. If they tried to start a fight at a funeral, they are obviously oblivious to any and all around them.

Erudite: Remember these five words from the beginning of the First Ammendment: "Congress shall pass no laws..." Asking someone to not talk about politics at a family gathering is not a free speech violation. Would you allow someone at one of your family gatherings to loudly and graphically discuss their sexual practices out of fear of violating their First Ammendment rights?

Answer 8

That's a difficult one really especially when they have there mind set on one thing.Unfortunately they will have "PRINCESS" syndrome for things to come.They can't even imagine being in your son's shoes.I was in the military myself and there where times i was blasted by highly opinionated people they would say "oh what's the Army for there just killing the Innocent while tax payers are paying for it!" I still hate it today that there are some who say that among other things i just let it go let it roll off your shoulders.They will never understand the sacrifice our troops make until they either become one or until one is lost.

Answer 9

Just tell them they should join the military to shore up a few pounds off the midriff. That ought to silence em fairly well.

Okay, in seriousness: ask them what they've done with their lives that is so great. I have troops who are in their mid 20s who now manage 30 million dollars worth of equipment while managing a team of 10 other troops.

Answer 10

Agree with them, the best way to put someone in their place is to agree with them because all they are looking for is an argument. My husband is in the military too and has been deployed for a year to iraq and i agree, the war is stupid, am i not proud of my country for it? Definantly incorrect, I am a very proud Amercian. Am i ashamed of my husband fighting in it. ABSOLUTLY not, I am very proud to be living in this wonderful country and I am very proud of my husband for doing the up most American thing and serving his country in need and going over seas to fight a war that doesnt need anymore fighting. All I know is that no one knows what it is like to be in the military except those in the military, know one knows what its like to be a military wife (dont believe tv people, its over rated) except us military wives, and finally the parents of the military, I'm the wife and I still dont know what its like to be a military parent. So if these people dont know what its like to be in the military, they have absoluting NO say in what goes on in it, how it is ran, or how anyone being in the military should feel. They may have an opinion about the war because of CNN but they have no idea what even goes on over there, just because you hear some watered down story from a news reporter who isnt in the hot zones, getting their story in a safe place from soldiers risking their lifes outside the gates doesnt mean they're opinion should mean anything at all but it also doesnt mean they dont have an opinion or credible one. But, being in the military, like i said, i would just agree with them, tell them, "Your right, the war is stupid, but it doesnt make me any less of an american and it doesnt make me any less proud of my son and his decision to join the most powerful military on the face of this planet". I guess what i am trying to say is dont worry about what people who dont know what they are talking about tell you because if they dont have any knowledge or experience of what they are speaking. it is just empty words.