i love my husband dearly but not his brother.... my brother in law has been staying with us for quite sometimes....at first i don't really mind but then i heard that after his wedding,he will continue staying with us... i keep the "i hate you" feeling to myself and its drives me crazy.... i have to do his laundry, clean his messy room,switch off the tv when he fall asleep in the living room etc.... i'm sick and tired of it...even after talking to my husband about it,he's on his brother side.... what should i do? oh yes, he stay in my house free of charge...
2007-10-03 03:56:32 · 15 answers · asked by ilo. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thank you all for the answers...
2007-10-03 04:32:59 · update #1
Then it seems hubby is more concerned with the brother than he is to his own marriage! Not good!!
Tell hubby it's your way or the highway for both of them!!
IF not, then stop picking up after the brother. If hubby complains, let him pick up after his own bro!
Time to pull the guns out!!
2007-10-03 04:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does your brother-in-law have a job? It is perfectly normal for you to feel as if his brother is taking up your space and time. Although he is your husband's brother......your husband should be more considerate of your feelings. When a son marries a wife, that means he is leaving his family to be with the wife and make a family of his own. I think if there is someone who is willing to take in your brother-in-law besides your husband, that your husband should tell him to go live elsewhere.
2007-10-03 11:23:28 · answer #2 · answered by dr. phillian here.. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. You may need to remind him about the wedding vow that reads: "Forsaking all others........!"
He is the only one who can clear up this mess; it is his responsibility to make sure that your life together works well.
Perhaps if he were the one to do his brother's laundry, clean his room, etc., he might change his mind and side with you. If you continue to do all this work for his brother, he'll never leave, so stop making his life so attractive.
Change happens when a situation becomes truly uncomfortable for the one who needs to change. Do what you need to do - and stop making his brother's life so comfortable.
You can do this! Stand up for yourself and for your marriage; you deserve this!
2007-10-03 11:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by MomBear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother in law lived with us for 18 months. He was expected to help around the house just like the rest of us. While he was unemployed he cooked dinner every night, it was his way of making things easier on us. He also helped with dishes and kept the bathrooms clean.
Does your husband help with household chores?
If your brother in laws room is not open to everyone then stop cleaning it and just close the door. If it is open give short apologies for the mess and explain it is the way he like to live.
2007-10-03 11:27:44 · answer #4 · answered by desiree c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop doing his laundry, don't do anything for him.
Try talking to your husband again. Tell him, hey look, I like your brother but I can not do this anymore. So if you want him to continue to stay here, you do his laundry, you cook him dinner, and when he doesn't turn off the TV, You pay for the electric bill!
2007-10-03 11:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by abs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that the both of you have to come to an agreement on a time frame on his brother living there. If he gets married he needs to move out for sure. Tell hubby this is NOT up for discussion! You are done, stick a fork in you, you are DONE!!!
2007-10-03 11:06:04 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be pretty frustrated too!
Is your brother in law's wife going to be moving in with you after they are married also? If so I would sit down with them and set some ground rules. You are two seperate couples....you didn't marry the brother in law also so there's no reason why you should be doing his laundry unless he's paying you for it.
2007-10-03 11:04:43 · answer #7 · answered by Wicked Wanda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband again, it's YOUR house, too. He should respect that. Also, quite doing his sht! Leave it! Maybe if it continues to stay messy and stuff, he won't want to be there. Who wouldn't want to be somewhere where they don't pay rent and have things done for them? So...stop making it sooo comfortable for him to be there. And your hubby...put a strike on you know what...that will get him to listen.
2007-10-03 11:20:13 · answer #8 · answered by karamell08 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bless your heart, i dislik my brother in law also, but thank god he does not live with me, but i do suggest that you set guide lines you have to or your mrriage will suffer and that is not what you want you need to start charging him and then he will see its cheaper to find his own place or ive him a bill to pay thats fair, when my son moved back in after being gone for years i gave him a household bill and he paid it but he made the comment i cold be paying this for my own place well point taken and he got his own place.. good luck sweetheart my thought are with you
2007-10-03 11:22:36 · answer #9 · answered by killips1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell his bummy a*s that he needs to go, get the h*ll out.If you allow him to stay there then he has to do his part. which means paying a little bit of rent.He is a grown a*s man and he needs to do his own damn laundry.You and your husband need to sit him down and lay down some rules and guidelines ortherwise he will keep taking advantage and keep you as his housekeeper.
Just tell him to leave that would be better.
2007-10-03 11:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by thatzhot314 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋