a question about the 5th commandment?

Question

if my father is an abusive drunk and my mother is an apathic non-participant ,who freely admits i was a mistake , how do i go about honoring them?

Answer 1

Good question...Honor has more to do about someone's personhood. If your father is an alcoholic and your mother is emotionally unavailable, they still have worth because they are people. In other words, a person's actions do not constitute their worth. We may not agree with the way our parents are behaving, but we can honor them because they have worth. It can be hard to separate the bad behavior from the person, but it's possible. So, a practical way of honoring one's parents in this situation would be to help them when they are sick. If they need a ride to the doctor, take them. If they happen to do something nice, or say something nice, acknowledge it.

Answer 2

Honoring them does not mean putting up with all that. I think that in this case it would be more of a case of not dishonoring them. I do not know how old you are so I couldn't tell you to leave. I can only say that you must try to find the courage with in yourself (and it is there!) to overcome this obstacle. You can find the compassion within yourself to love them and yet go on to a life that is much better than the one they have provided for you.

Look inside of you. In there is all the power of all the good in the universe harnassed and waiting to be discovered. You are peace, love and boundless compassion. It is, in fact, your true nature. You are a Buddha waiting to be born.

I wish you peace.

Answer 3

Honoring one's parents had to do with showing proper respect from the perspective of a society where shame was worse than guilt. It was a shame not to honor one's parents, even if they were bad parents.

But under the Christian umbrella, one must love their parents, even if they were abusive. By loving them, you will learn to forgive them, and hopefully be a positive influence in their lives.

Your mother may feel you were a "mistake" but you were not a mistake to God.

.

Answer 4

I think the problem with this is that many people confuse the word "honor" with "respect." Nowhere in the Bible are we commanded to respect our parents. Though we should. As your father, you are to honor him by loving him with a daughter's love and obeying his lawful commands. We are not bound to enabling an unhealthy habit. Talking to him or your mom (if she's still in the situation) about his habit and trying to get him/her help is a perfect way to honor them. Talk with your pastor/priest/rabbi to see how he might show honor or how he could help.

Proverbs 24:6 - "...and in the multitude of counsellors there is safety."

Answer 5

Pray for them. Pray that they will be delivered.
just to let you know, you were NO mistake, God don't make mistakes about children, you were known to Him before you were in your mother's womb, Jer.1 tells you this, your mother has know understanding that she was not in control of weather you came about or not God was! She doesn't know that all children are gifts from God?
You are special, God made you to be able to handle all that comes your way, as long as you abide in Him, He will abide in you hon. Read Jer 1, and John 15.
Honor is also all the things that you shouldn't do too, it is there choice how they live there life, stay deeply in the love of God and you can change them -by example-
Stand in faith that God will help you.
this is for you....
It is beautiful!
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

Answer 6

Honoring is different than agreeing with their behavior. This commandment was given to us for OUR benefit. "That it may go well with us" It's a promise from God, and a test of our obedience. Most parents have flaws, some worse than others, but we have to take responsibility for how we react to them. Our right actions and attitudes will overshadow their wrong behavior towards us. We will reap the benefits!

Answer 7

The commandments have a higher concealed reality to them of which no Christian or Jew has ever seen because they read scriptures in a completely literal mode.

The parents you honor is not of this world, but it is beneficial to honor the divinity in another, but this honoring doesn't mean be complacent or be a punching bag to their foolishness, it would be well in your power to tell them to truth of their condition, the circumstances surrounding their blind behaviors to wake themselves up. In that way you are honoring their higher divine nature by giving them the opportunity to work on themselves, to overcome themselves. In this world no one is truly a parent, people make it able for their fellow brother and sisters to be born in this world. That's from a spiritual perspective, making way for their fellow prodigal siblings in regards to our higher soul nature.

Answer 8

Those problems were rare when Moses layed down these commandments. In your case I would show as much kindness as possible and if they don't respond in a positive way distance your self from them. If they change their ways in the future don't hold a grudge. That would be honoring them.

Answer 9

To honor your parents does not mean to be a doormat or to submit to abuse. It does not mean you even have to like them. All it means is do not seek their destruction, but make certain they are fed and clothed in their old age or if illness disables them. This can be done at a distance through intermediaries if necessary. It can even be managed throught he state if they are lacking enough income to pay for care.

Answer 10

Your parents have definitely got some issues but honoring them don't mean honoring their mistakes. Loving them even though sometimes they don't act like parents, and maybe doing what you can to help them. Those things can be honoring.