I have been talking to this guy online who likes me that I met at my friends party and also went to high school with. He seems really nice and he says all these sweet things to me. Like if I say something like wow I just made a fool of myself he says back "Your not a fool in my book." :) Then I told him about a movie I was gonna watch and he goes oh a chick flick and I was like you don't watch those kinds of movies so you've never seen The Notebook and he goes no. So I start telling him about it and he didn't want me to give away the ending cause he is gonna watch it and he keeps telling me how he is working on watching it :). Then today he told me he thinks I'm cute. He makes me laugh and that's like the one quality I look for in a guy. There is just one problem looks wise I don't like him and he smokes which is a turn off for me. Will this change and can I over look these things?
2007-10-03 02:46:04 · 11 answers · asked by Brownie12866 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I learned years ago that if you truly like someone you sometimes have to overlook some things that bother you but if it's something that is a definite turn off that you'll never be able to deal with, like smoking, then it's not going to work!! I don't choose people because of their looks or lack of!! I want someone who is honest, faithful and has the humor to make me laugh!! You have to decide what you can and cannot deal with in a person!! Good Luck!!
2007-10-03 05:20:25 · answer #1 · answered by Ginny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His looks won't change until he gets older, and he could quit smoking one day.
Beauty never lasts on the outside - only on the inside. And we all have flaws - one of his smoking - what is one of yours?
However, if you have made up your mind that he won't be more then a friend, then make sure you tell him that very clearly so he doesn't think otherwise. He may then quit talking to you and move on or be okay with just being friends.
2007-10-03 09:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think only you can decide if those are things you can overlook, but don't expect him to change. I do think people can change, but on their own time and at their own will, not b/c of other people. So don't expect to be able to change him. For me, the more I get to know someone and their personality, the more attractive they become. Maybe the same is true for you? ll in all it sounds like you just need a bit more time to figure out how you're feelin about the situation, just don't mislead him too much if at all possible. Good Luck! ;-)
2007-10-03 09:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Elsie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a relationship, you're going to need to accept the person's good traits and bad traits. It's pretty bad that he smokes...personally, I would not get involved with that. If he can change and stop smoking, great, but there's a matter of whether he's willing to or not. Also, is he very, very unattractive, or just not hot? If he's very unattractive, then maybe you should just keep him as a friend for now, and see how it goes.
2007-10-03 09:51:20 · answer #4 · answered by julia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend please if you say smoking is a turn off then dont even try to date him and think that later he would stop bcos he might never stop. he could pretend to you now or swear to you in whatever name but later when he sees you have completely fallen for him. he will go back to that habit of his.
what you cant finish then dont even start it.
my cousin had similar problem and i told her you knew this guy smokes and drinks and you couldnt stop him while both of you were still dating how and why do you think you can stop him now. he can only stop at his own time.
so if you feel you can tolerate him, then go ahead but if not, then dont consider him.
cheers.
2007-10-03 11:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by agasco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would blank him. Tell him and if he doesn't quit smoking dump him. Nothing a person can do about looks. Just keep clean and dress nice and keep yourself the best you can. If he is like that and he is nice and makes you laugh who cares about looks.
2007-10-03 09:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of the most self serving downright nasty girls I have dated were also the best looking. Looks aren't everything sweetie, aside from his smoking he seems like he might be a nice guy.
2007-10-03 10:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by ............... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all up to you sweetie. If you think you can get past the smoking and the way he looks, go for it. I wouldn't expect him to change his ways for you though. That never works in my experience.
2007-10-03 09:56:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think personality and good qualities can make a man more attractive...tell him he should quit smoking for his health...
2007-10-03 09:53:29 · answer #9 · answered by Lolligager 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not pay any attention to his moves and make gestures as if you are neglecting him. In course of time he would go away from you leaving you free.
2007-10-03 09:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by SRIRANGAM G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋