Need help with jealousy problem?

Question

I am totally in love w/ my boyfriend. We've been together over a year. I know that he wouldnt cheat on me. BUT for some d*mn reason it drives me freaking NUTS when he's around other girls. I think it's just b/c hes such a great guy and outgoing and i know others look at him teh same way. but what me and him have is so special. I just want to stop going crazy when i'm not with him and when other girls are around. I know i'm the one for him, but why do i feel this way? and how do i stop?! i feel like the crazy girlfriend

Answer 1

Hun I know the feeling! Its really hard to stop those feelings! I know to me my boyfriend is amazing and I love him with all my heart and I know that there are other girls that are very attracted to him and see that he is a great guy, I get like a kitty cat like he is mine don't touch! I know he wont cheat we have been together for 3 years and trust me as time goes by it will get better! Just one talk to him if it is a serious problem you feel you have. I sat my boyfriend down and we talked about it! It made me feel better about the feelings that I would get! I trust him and I love him and I know he feels the same. You just have to remind yourself of that anytime you get those feelings and talk to him about it! Honey you are in love and it is scary but its also amazing! You know that other women see him in the same way and you are afraid even though you know deep down that he is not going anywhere you are afraid that he might! You think why does he choose me when he could have all these other girls! Just know he wants you and that's all that matters/ He loves you and he is with you for that reason! Just keep telling yourself that and it will get better OK! Hope I could help! Good luck!

Answer 2

You are taking the first step by admitting you have a jealousy problem. Next you need to step back from situations where he may be around other girls and notice how he doesn't act like he wants them. He is acting like himself and that is what you love so much about him.
Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins and will defiantly rear it's ugly head and ruin a perfectly good relationship.
If you love him and he loves you that is all you need. Don't be petty and insecure. Don't make problems before there are problems.
You should be proud that you have such a special guy and allow him to continue to be himself. Stopping him from being himself is like cutting off his air supply!!
Good Luck sweetie!!!

Answer 3

It's called 'insecurity' and it's the direct result of immature emotional formation. I would guess that whoever your female role model was/is had the same problem while you were growing up and you modeled yourself after her.
The way to stop behaving in this fashion is to either have someone you are close to(not your BF!) tell you when you start getting too wound up about minor issues in their presence; or, video yourself daily for a few days routine to see when you start to change your behavior to deal with a stressful situation.
Remember: jealousy is a wasted emotion; you can neither stop other people from doing what they wish, or feel better by making a damned fool of yourself in front of your friends.

Answer 4

If you completely trust him then you should have no reason to act this way! I know I was like this because a few of my relationship I caught my boyfriends cheating on me(I actually walked into my boyfriends, now he is an ex, house and caught him having sex with his ex girlfriend the day after we had sex for the first time I was with that bastard for 6 months!!) But that made me lose faith in almost every guy. But then I final met someone and it took some time to let my guard down again and I pretty much expect to happen again but it didnt!

Answer 5

Unfortunately that feeling never really goes away. I've been with my bf for a little over 3 yrs and i still get jealous when he's around other girls. But the good new is that it means you really do love him. I don't think he will think you're a crazy girlfriend. My bf loves it. He told me that it makes him feel good to know that i don't want to share him with any girls.

Answer 6

Its touching that you have such strong feelings but dangerous because it can ruin your relationship. My advice is if he's around other girls, join him so it will calm your jealousy. It can help the situation so that you are able to be less possessive.

Answer 7

I don't know why you are like this.. maybe somone abandoned you when you were growing up? someone you looked up to? Not sure, but whatever it is, you can work on this issue.


I found a couple articles, not sure if you are interested. You can find more by doing a search for JEALOUSY SELF HELP, COPING WITH JEALOUSY or OVERCOMING JEALOUSY.

You can also try SELF ESTEEM SELF HELP.

You are a worthwhile person, and for some of us, these feelings are normal.. but we can work on them.

Your boyfriend is with YOU, no one else. And he sounds like the type of person who probably makes others feel comfortable around him...

take care, and i'm sure things will work out! hugs

Answer 8

Jealousy is an instinctive emotion that arises most commonly in women who do not feel sufficiently worthy to retain affection and respect purely on their own merits. It is often a lack of self-esteem that causes one to attempt to constrain the behavior of their friends and lovers, when in fact those constraints and the emotions that they represent are far more likely to damage the relationships they are intended to protect.

Answer 9

It sounds like you're having a hard time trusting your boyfriend - and it sounds like he hasn't really done anything to not deserve to be trusted.
Personally, I would really try to make a conscious effort to not be bothered by him hanging out with other women as friends - I would remind myself that my feelings are illogical and unsubstantiated. And then I would try to think about how great and likable he is and why all these women would want to be friends with him, but that in the end, he was coming home to me, because he loves me, and he's not going to cheat on me. I would really just try to focus on that positive energy that comes with your boyfriend being able to hang out with women all day, but then he comes home to you - like, you're better than all those other women, because he loves you, not them.

Answer 10

I had the same jealousy problems with my g/f (now wife) all through high school. We started dating in the 8th grade and all through high school I could not stand the fact she would go out with her freinds and be around other guys, it drove me insane. But you have to trust him and have faith that if it is meant to be it will be. My wife and I have now been married for 10 years, so that is proof that it does work out even with jeaousy problems.