What's a polite way to say I do not want more children?

Question

I have a son who is 4 yrs old. I adore him but I do not want and will not have any more children. I nearly died after his birth and the depression that set in post partum was crippling. I won't go through it again. Problem is, everyone in my family has several children and they always ask why I would let my son be an only child. They ask why I won't have more kids. On and on and on. I don't want to volunteer the real reason why, so what can I tell them? I've tried the simple "I don't think I can handle more kids" and they say "we'll help you with them!" Is there a better answer for this?
(by the way, most of the family asking do not know about my mental state and hospitalization following his birth. I kept it a secret from everyone but my mother)

Answer 1

Im in the same situation, but I have two and my husband wants one more. I explain it like this....I have been blessed by what I have, and I want the best for my kids. I dont want to have more b/c of I hate being pregnant, but you have to realize that it's NO ONES decision but yours. You cannot let other peoples opinions make lfe changing decisions for you. This is your life, and your responsibility. People can want for you but you have to want for yourself. I'd give it time, and brush them off...make a joke out of it...start asking them if they're pregnant all the time...Keep your chin up! I'm with ya...

Answer 2

My toddlers do no longer use definite ma'am or definite sir. I easily have taught them in spite of the undeniable fact that to assert definite and no, please and thank you. My toddlers are 11, 9, and four. My Dad is sixty 5 so he's particularly old college conservative sort, and he's surprised whilst he's taking my toddlers out how nicely mannered they're. we are by ability of no ability a uptight family members the two, yet my toddlers' understand what's estimated out in public and that's slightly greater lax at dwelling house. to illustrate as quickly as we bypass to a quickly nutrition restaraunt i do no longer even would desire to assert a be conscious, whilst my toddlers end their nutrition they placed their rubbish on the trays and throw them away. as quickly as we see households with toddlers only jogging out leaving their mess for others to p.c.. up. i would not tollerate my toddlers being rude in any respect and that's unhappy to work out maximum of toddlers available that have not even been taught the basics.

Answer 3

You're not the rude one, the ones pressing you to have more kids are! They say they'll help you, but YOU are the one who has to raise them. If you don't want another, that's your business. When my son was just six months old, people already started demanding to know when we were going to have Baby #2. My son was still an infant, and we weren't sure if we even wanted another, as our family felt complete. So the next time the nosy people start to demand answers, just smile sweetly and say, "Well, quality is more important than quantity. When you get one as great as my son, you don't need to rush right out and get another." They'll get the hint.

Answer 4

It's a shame that you feel so much pressure from you family since this is YOUR decision. They should respect what you want.

To stop this, tell them that you are focused on your current son and couldn't imagine changing that fact. Or possibly you could say that you are really content. When they bring up helping with more children, say politiely that you have already choosen and happy with just having your son.

Answer 5

My response would be, "I'm not ready for more children and I don't think I will want anymore. So can you please not ask me?" My mother in law tells me and my husband that we should have more children, not to let our son grow up as an only child. But I have a 2 y/o daughter that lives with her dad, as of now, but I plan on getting her to live with me within the next year, therefore, he's not going to grow up an only child. I usually tell my mother in law, that I don't think I'm ready for another child, especially if she thinks that we should have another when my son is 2. thats my opinion. and with the depression thing, no one else needs to know. your mother knows it, and that's perfectly fine. no one else needs to pry into your private life. if you don't want anymore because you fear for your life, than so be it. good luck!

Answer 6

I have never understood why other people have to get involved with something so personal and which does NOT affect them.

Say simply, "we have considered it, and we feel our family is just the way we want it. Thanks for your interest, though." Then do not utter another word no matter what they say to you. Change the subject, walk out of the room, etc., but do not discuss it and do not tell them you will not discuss it.

You do not have to justify anything to them.

Answer 7

Be firm about it let them know it's your choice and no one elses. Tell them you are really happy with the way your family is now and you don't feel the need to change the life you live.

Answer 8

I so understand your situation, although I have two boys and want no more. My best friend has only one child and went through such a tuff time She doen't want anymore. I would tell them you and your one are totaly bonded and tell them to call you selfish if they choose but you only want your one. Just say you enjoy giving him all your attention. I dont know if that helps but I do know my friend went through a very hard time and could not possibly go through what she went through again when she would then have TWO to deal with. It was hard eneough with just her one. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 9

"My husband got kicked in the groin by a horse and had to have his testicles removed. We didnt think about saving any swimmers."

"My husband shoots blanks. I had to sleep with the neighbor just to have this child. Then the guy moves, so I cant do that again!"

"I was impregnated by aliens and I am waiting for another visit."

These may end the conversation, but isnt that what you want.

Answer 10

you don't have to tell anyone those personal things...just say something like...you know, having only one child, i can provide him with so much. if i have any more children i would have to divide everything between them and i don't want to do that. if they keep asking i would just go close lipped until they changed the subject.