How do I get my step kids to listen to me? I ask them to do something and they don't, or they do then do it halfazz. I dont really get help from there dad. Help before I leave.There mom is not in the picture.
2007-10-03 02:16:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree that your step kids should be in your charge when their dad isn't home.... and if they don't listen, then take away privileges.
You didn't say how long you've all been together, or what the circumstances are with their mom?? Is she dead, or are the parents just divorced?
When i was married and had a mixed family, step kids and my own, my husband and i worked together with the kids... i disciplined my own kids when i was home, but it was understood that my husband was in charge if i was gone from the house for any reason.
We did things as a family quite a lot, too. And the kids enjoyed privileges when they behaved.
I dont know what more to say, except that your husband could become more involved with his kids... and let them know he expects them to help around the house from time to time, and whatever else you need from them...
take care.
2007-10-03 02:24:35 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have developed a relationship with these children before you married their Dad. If the person you are marring has kids you have to it least get along with them. I would make the Dad step up to the plate and punish them. You can not just let them run over you. Stand your ground when their father is gone and make sure they do what you ask. If not start taking the things they really love away.
2007-10-03 09:38:56 · answer #2 · answered by Cristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they feel abandoned by divorce. Because they are filled with pain. It is not easy for kids. And they dont have a good relationship with their mother which is most important. I would encourage and never say what you just said "they do things halfazzed" praise them when they do it never the less. They are children. They have pain. they didnt ask for their mom and dad not to get along. They didnt ask to live with a step mom..be patient. it takes time. And if you cannot be there and you are weakening. Do the kids a favor and leave them. You have to be strong and remember who is the adult. How sad they must feel about their passive dad and you threatening to leave them too. Patience.
2007-10-03 09:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about the united front. You and your HUSBAND must do this together. You have to agree on chores for the kids, punishments if they don't do them... etc. Present all that to the kids TOGETHER, and if they still fail to listen... discipline them... TOGETHER! I come from a household with step parents on BOTH sides... trust me, this is what works.
2007-10-03 09:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by Christine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
becoz they feel upset by divorce. i think that this is a bit extreme but here goes-
pay someone to kidnap the stepkids for fake. then go and rescue them and beet up the robbers. do som,ething cool. maybe the steps will like you then.try n be more family like. if u do this make sure that the steps dont find out
2007-10-03 10:21:58 · answer #5 · answered by possessed by insanity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Dad won't back you up, the only thing left to do is go on strike. I mean it. Stop doing stuff for them until they comply with some reasonable demands. Like taking out the garbage. That means no taking them on errands, no making their lunch, doing their laundry, etc.
2007-10-03 09:32:38 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you praise them for what they do and point out what they did that was well done. Please refrain from pointing out what they didn't do. The more you show them you care and appreciate what they do DO, then they will want to do even more. All of us respond to praise and appreciation - give it out generously and it will be given back to you.
Good luck.
2007-10-03 09:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dad needs to tell them to listen to you and you need to expect them to listen to you-my stepson listens to me and he comes and talks to me about his problems and stuff-also re-evaluate yourself-maybe they're doing their best and your expectations are too high?
2007-10-03 09:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by suan b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋