I live in India my parents want to fix me up with this guy who i don't even know. They like this guy a lot, till today everything is good about him and his family, i have to lie to my parents to avoid a fix up. I am 32 and in love with some one else, he is 23 and cant arry till he settles, we r very committed, what should i do????
PLZ SUGGEST ME FAST.
ITS AN EMERGENCY.
2007-10-03 00:37:26 · 10 answers · asked by jack t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Geez. I can't believe there are still arranged marriages in this world. Have you thought about leaving home? Leave and go marry whoever you want to. Better yet, stay single, find a job and a career for yourself and be happy.
2007-10-03 00:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by ~RedBird~ 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Being an American I realize that I don't have the reference points to answer this question adequately. If I may offer some thoughts with out knowing your situation...
Does the man your parents want you to marry have a genuine desire to learn how to make you happy and to have you learn to love him?
Can he provide for you and a family?
Does he have the temperment to be a good and loving father to you children?
Is he someone you could grow to love and have a good life with?
Does he want the same things for the next 60 years or so as you do?
Do you share the same values?
If these were the things your parents were considering when they began looking for a husband for you, perhaps they are the same kinds of things you should be asking yourself about the boy you believe you love.
My friends Grandmother says that her marriage was like a pot put on the fire to warm (arranged celebrating their 50th this year) and here in America they are likes pots taken off the fire to cool.
2007-10-03 04:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LEAVE WELL ALONE. It's no longer what you are promoting so steer very transparent of this odd couple. They at the moment are married and it frequently may not be for lengthy so allow your buddy experience it whilst she will be able to. If you're too near (and this is applicable in your b/f as good) you'll emerge as the two humans they continually moan at approximately eachother and you'll be positioned into much more complex and embarrassing circumstances than you're on the second. They are an coincidence simply ready to occur however their union used to be their possess option. She's younger and foolish and he is historical adequate to grasp bigger. Concentrate in your possess partnership together with your b/f and depart them to get on with theirs. You can nonetheless be peers with susan however hold her at arm's period any more. Does your b/f understand that his 'buddy' stored hitting on you? If no longer, perhaps it is time you informed him. That will support sever the hyperlink among the 4 of you. They are dangerous information and also you are not looking for the predicament.
2016-09-05 15:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not in an easy situation.
Suggestions of reasoning with your parents or running away may work in America; not so in India.
You already know what to do. You just have to find the strength to do it.
Is there not a law against arranged marriages? Perhaps you have a chance there.
Otherwise, there are not many options open to you other than to tell your parents that they have a choice between being embarrassed NOW (when they pull out of the arrangement) or at the wedding (if you think you are strong enough to say 'NO').
Good luck, and lots of strenght.
2007-10-03 00:50:44 · answer #4 · answered by mgerben 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why lie. You've got all the right to face your parents politely and tell them that you don't love the guy they want you to marry. You even do not need tell them that you've got the other guy or your love might get into a problem. Keep it to yourself and your love. After this has been sorted, go ahead and introduce him as your husband to be and move on. Even if your parents stand by their choice, please do not marry somebody you do not love as the rest of your life will be miserable and kind of unwanted. Love has to grow first before marriage.
Lastly is to question you, you mean you are 32 and in love or want to marry somebody who's 23? I thought that's too young for someone your age. N- way my answer as foreadvised
Thanks.
2007-10-03 00:49:17 · answer #5 · answered by dviakal78 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have a friend whose roots were in India.... her parents would send her back to India to "meet" prospective husbands and she had to go on trips with them from time to time to get to know them. She had already met someone at school her in the states that she was in love with.... he met all the criteria of an acceptable husband except that his family was one class lower than her family and that was a problem... ( seems strange to me??? ) she finally just spoke up... she talked to her mother and then her mother spoke to her father... her parents called his parents... discussions took place over a period of 6 or so months and finally, they received word that their marriage would go as they wished.... i believe the parents of the groom bought a couple of hotels to boost their family status.... so, my point is this, when you discuss things, you might be surprised about the outcome!!
good luck!!
2007-10-03 02:50:36 · answer #6 · answered by Jeanette 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't lie, surely you are allowed to say no to the guy if you do not want to marry him, if not that would be a forced marriage, and I didn't think that was allowed.
2007-10-03 01:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down with them and tell them that you are an ADULT, and your OWN PERSON. They cannot control your life and your decisions are YOURS to make. Do they want you to be unhappy? I don't think so. Tell them that this will make you profoundly unhappy, and that you have found someone else who you are in love with and committed to.
You are old enough to make your own logical and rational decisions. Let them know that it is insulting to your intelligence that they attempt to belittle you and arrange you with someone you do not even know.
Present your parents with an ultimatum. You love them more than anything, but they have to accept you as being an independent person with your own brain and your own heart. If they cannot accept this, you will be in an unhappy marriage with an unhappy heart. You must follow your heart. Tell your parents that you are not going to marry this person whom you have not even met. If they don't like it, too bad.
It is a painful and difficult decision to have to make, but it is also selfish and unfair of your parents to put you in it. Good luck to you.
2007-10-03 00:40:53 · answer #8 · answered by guess 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
HEY GILR I NO HOW U FEEL WHAT U SHOULD DO IS BE LIKE MOM I REALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL U AND I KNOW U LIKE THIS GUY ALOT BUT I AM OLDER NOW TOPICK WHO I REALLY LOVE MOM I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE AND HE LOVES ME TO GET DEEP IN YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT HOW U FEEL ABOUT THIS GUY BUT WHEN YOU APPROACH YOUR MOM YOU HAVE TO TAKE HER HANDS AND TELL HER IF SHE YELL AT YOU PLEASE SAY CALM AND SWEET SAY I LOVE HIM MORE AND I WANT YOU TO MEET HIM BUT JUST LET ME MAKE THIS DECISION IF IT IS A MISTAKE OF WHO I REALLY CHOOSE THEN I WILL LIKE TO LEARN FROM MY OWN MISTAKEASS AND START TALKING SOFT TO HER AND WHATEVER SHE SAYS YOU GO FROM THERE WITH THE FEELINGS AND MY JOB HERE IS DONE.
2007-10-03 00:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by Ms.Sparkles 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IF YOU DO NOT SAY SOMETHING YOU WILL BE IN A MARRIAGE THAT YOU JUST ABSOLUTELY HATE AND WILL REGRET. WHO WANTS THAT? YOUR MARRIED YRS. ARE SUPPOSE TO BE GREAT NOT MISERABLE!
2007-10-03 00:45:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋