He said: "Shall we try swapping positions tonight"?
She said: "That's a good idea. You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
He said: " What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"
She said:" Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"
He said:" Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She said:"I would, but you're never there"!
He said:" Why don't women blink during foreplay?"
She said:"They don't have time!"
He said:" Why are married women heavier than single women?"
She said:" Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge."!!!
Star if you like please! Thank you!
2007-10-02 23:09:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Neat ones....star! A kinda ready reckoner for married people!
In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __ex-pression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
2007-10-02 23:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have a star, I liked 9/10
2007-10-02 23:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by PC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In pc language && returns genuine basically whilst the two are genuine, the place as || returns genuine if any of them is genuine. Its fact table is a million acts as genuine & 0 acts as fake For and nil && 0 = 0 0 && a million = 0 a million && 0 = 0 a million && a million = a million For OR 0 || 0 = 0 0 || a million = 0 a million || 0 = 0 a million || a million = a million
2016-10-10 05:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by saggio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lesson:
Don't be trapped by your wife's antics. Plan some stunts now!
A star for you, for good fun before I sign off. That was good timing!
2007-10-03 00:52:40 · answer #4 · answered by boyplakwatsa.com 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What food turns women against sex?
Wedding cake!
2007-10-02 23:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Victhechic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I like it. Gave you a star.
2007-10-03 00:40:17 · answer #6 · answered by Aref H4 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋