What is your opinion of a mother that loses full custody of their children?

Question

This has happened to Britney Spears. I could not imagine losing my children or doing ANYTHING that would cause me to lose custody of them ever. It makes me sick to know that some mothers have such a lack of conscience to allow this to occur.

I am speaking of the mothers that lose their children from their own wrongdoing and not the ones that are wrongfully accused.

I agree about the court system being flawed but that is really besides the point I am getting at. Again, I am not speaking of the wrongfully accused. Being a mother myself I think it is despicable that a woman can behave in such a way that makes them lose their children. I know that father's can be unfit too (as in Britney and Kevin's situation), but there is something about a mother having that maternal responsibilty to her children unconditionally no matter what. These women that lose their children for their own selfish and immoral choices just get under my skin. I would never and have never done anything even remotely close to that. I would never allow myself to be put in a position that would jeapordize my children period.

Thanks for all your answers and thoughts on this subject. There are several great replies and I will pick a best one. I wish I could pick more than one! Some of the stories here are so sad. My heart goes out to the people raising children for a mother who is unfit. You derserve so much for helping them. Again, a mother is the ultimate unconditional maternal figure and should always put her children's well-being first period. If she can't comply with this then DON'T have kids!!

Answer 1

I can only comment on a woman I know personally - my sister in law.
She lost her kids when they were 2 & 4. She was a terrible mother, and still is actually. She was more interested in earning money through prostitution and drinking and smoking pot all day than looking after her kids.The poor little things fed themselves, if there was ever anything left in the fridge and would go days at a time without a bath.

As a mother myself, it was appalling to witness, and it was her own mother who reported her to welfare and the kids were placed with their biological father who was denied access by her because he no longer wanted to be romantically involoved with her

For the sake of those children, now 10 & 12, i'm so glad they were placed into a stable home environment.

My sister in law doesn't seem to miss her kids, in fact when she has her fortnightly visits, it's me or her mum that end up looking after them, cause she'd rather party.

Makes me sad to know that she's one of many mums ( if you can call them that) who value their own children so poorly.

























































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Answer 2

Unfortunately, our court systems aren't perfect. I don't know anything firsthand about Britney Spears, so I don't know what the truth is. Neither she nor Kevin Federline seem like wonderful parents, and I have to admit, she's behaved irrationally and badly, but I find it odd that he already gets thousands of dollars every month in child support when they share custody and that the first thing he's doing after getting full custody is go for more money. My priority would be making sure the children are ok, mentally and physically.

I remember a court case where a father claimed some unproven condition (Parental Alienation Disorder - where one parent so maligns the other parent that it damages that parent's relationship with their children). This disorder has never been proven even to be real, and even if it is, it's near impossible to prove if it occured, or what extent damages a child's view of their parent. Anyway, the father claimed his children suffered from it, and was awarded full custody of his children. Months later, it was discovered the father and his new wife were both sexually abusing the children and forcing them to do the same with each other.

Obviously, there's serious flaws in our court system. It just doesn't always work. I'm not saying it never works. However, it is possible for a mother to lose custody when it is not deserved (just as it is for a father).

I understand what you're saying...and yes, some of Britney's behavior that is definate is just stupid for anyone facing a custody battle. My problem is that we don't hear as much about what her ex was doing, because he's not really of any matter to the public eye except in regards to his ex-wife. There have been rumors of his involvement in drug and alcohol use as well, and they were BOTH ordered to go to parenting classes. I think the courts should have taken the children away into the custody of the courts until both parents get their acts together, because the only thing I'm seeing is one acting out and the other putting on an act.

BTW, this guy wasn't nearly as attentive to his other two children, and he didn't even want joint custody of those two.

They're both extremely poor examples.

Answer 3

It depends on the story. If say a woman (i.e. Britney Spears) displays behaviour that is irrational, erratic and reckless, and doesn't follow any court orders given to her at a previous trial then I think they are so dumb, and short sighted that they can't see the big picture that they are now a mother, and it isn't all about them anymore. The ones that don't care about what happens to their children, those are the ones that disgust me.

The ones that loose their children, through some liars, bad representation of a lawyer or any other example of that, I feel bad for them, and upset at the system that let it happen. But in cases of court orders, and neglect, I feel nothing but anger.

Answer 4

These are celebrities you're talking about, and they just don't seem to live in the real world. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have the kind of fame that makes you have to live your life in a fishbowl, where every action is up for discussion and every bad hair day is reported. On the other hand, some let the fame go to their heads, where they think the laws of the real world don't apply to them. In any case, the focus should be on the children and what would be best for them, no matter WHO their parents may be.

I'd be careful about judging someone I don't know.

Why on earth are we so interested in the lives of these people? Who cares anyway? What business is it of ours?

It appears the lawyers have taken over.... heaven help the children.

Answer 5

I think it all depends on who is better for the children. Britney Spears clearly needs to get her act together. It seems like she puts partying, men, drugs, and alcohol before her children. She's depressed, and needs help obviously before anyone should even think about giving her children back to her. I think Kevin is better for them than she is.

They said that she can have the chance to get them back if she gets her act together. That's better than my sister's boyfriend's ex wife. She lost full custody, period. because she would slam her kid's (ages 8,6,and 5) hands in the door. Throw them into the walls across the room. She was very abusive, and an alcoholic who did drugs. She doesn't even have anything to do with them. She bought her oldest son something on her youngest son's birthday and didn't get him anything. She doesn't deserve those kids. And I don't think any child should have to stay with their mother (or father) and wait until they are abused to death before someone even thinks "hey they should have been put with someone better instead of keeping them with their mother, just because she's their 'mother'".

So, it doesn't really matter to me if the mom loses her children. Screw this "Mom should automatically keep her children" crap. There are some cases when the mothers aren't fit to be parents and the fathers are better. I think it all should definitely depend on who treats the children better, and in this case, Britney Spears clearly isn't that person.

I don't feel sorry for her. Especially when she refuses to try and get help.

Answer 6

I have full custody of my kids because their mother is a drug addict. Her new boyfriend got her hooked on crack and coke. I will not allow MY children to go off with her. They have been arrested several times in the last year which only makes it worst for the kids. they are living out of a car now. They did have a tent pitched in some ones backyard.

I have people tell me "She is the kids mother" and I say no she is not. Remember, Drugs alter the brain. Their mother never did drugs until she met the boyfriend. So, She is not the same person mentally. And phisically, She looks really bad.

Answer 7

Yes it makes me sick, but referring to britney, & there are other mums in the same boat... there high on drugs if you can understand what its like when you have an addiction & your high most of the time, you think your invincible the last thing you think about is your kids, yes it sounds selfish & it is but your not in reality, so normal rules etc dont exist, no mother is perfect... im not saying what britney has done is right but i do understand where she is, because i have been there, & its not a happy & perfect life for anyone, so dont judge what you dont understand...............Her children should of been taken off her along time ago, britney needs a lot of help the poor gal.. the kids should be with someone who is stable, well mther & father are not which only leaves the grand parents? Next time your out take a look around its happening with families all over the place! Dont know where your living, But this is what happening..................

Answer 8

For just the reasons you listed above, there are no grounds for full custody. Since you are a woman, courts put that above all else because family courts are very sexist. So you have thet going for you, in that you are a woman. Now, if he is able to care for the kids without them needing to go to daycare, he could most definitely use that in his favor. Sounds like you need more child support. Petition the court for more $

Answer 9

The Judge warned her if she didn't go to parenting classes
( which she didn't)
Stop going on being a party girl
( went that same night)
Got weekly drug and alcohol testing
( she didnt)
Stay in rehab
(That didnt happen)
She drove her kids around with no drivers license
( the judge said NO she couldn't but is common sense)

That he was going to remove the kids from her care. She didn't listen and so the judge followed Thur. It was reported she went to a tanning bed after being told to turn them over. That's not a mother that cares about her children.

If she wasn't famous those kids would have been removed long ago. I see nothing wrong with him getting paid child support or allimony..... The judge wont order a woman to pay a man allimony if it wasnt PROVEN she didnt want him to work, and got him used to the lifestyle..... I know my ex tried to get it from me lol but i never told him not to work, he was just to lazy to work.

If it was a rich man, everyone would think he needed to pay out the nose in child support.

Answer 10

My cousin got her son taken away at birth. He lived with us for close to three years. He has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. [FAS]

When you are a mother you have to do things that are REALLY bad in order for most* courts to take your child away. For most of the parents who do get their kids taken away [when they are really wrong] I think they are the scum of the earth. Yes, you heard me, scum.

If you have enough balls to have a child, have enough balls to properly take care of the child. If you can't take care of the child [due to selfishness or mental stability] have the balls to give the child up to adopt. It's THAT simple!

Yes, I think that if a mother of two cannot produce a valid drivers license, refuses drug testing, and goes out to party every day she is the scum of the earth. PERIOD. A mother who cared wouldn't do those things. Again, it's that simple. I don't care about her mental stability. If she cared she would have gotten help not for her but for her KIDS.

This was a long time coming for Brittney and I certainly hope it really makes her think. Kids are not baby dolls. You can't have them and treat them badly. They are here always. You have to step up and do the right thing. Apparently, Brittney cannot do that.