i have been going out with this guy for 5 months now but tho he seems to be so sweet, humble and geneourus, i have a constant feeling that he isnt the right person for me. he wants us to be engaged this month and get married next year. i dont want to get engaged to someone only to break up later. Shud we stop our relationship? i am not so proud of him no matter how much i try, i dont want to waste his time but i also dont want to lose a potential hubby... what shud i do? Please advise according to God's ways
2007-10-02 19:31:36 · 23 answers · asked by haja 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I started dating my husband I was feeling the same thing. I didn't want him to fall in love even more and visa versa if this wasn't the one God had for me...that would have just been heart breaking.
So I started praying specifically for God to show me if he was the one for me. I asked God to specifically answer through my dad in a specific way...and that happened.
Also I had made a list of everything that I wanted in a husband...life partner...daddy to my kids, and I didn't make it up according to the attributes of my now husband I just put down everything that I ever wanted in a man with out leaving anything off and when I compared it to the traits of my now husband there wasn't one thing on my list that he didn't have.
(plus some)
Start praying specifically for God to show you and He will!!
Also I would make up a list...don't base it on your boyfriend just a list of everything that you want and hope for in a husband. (don't compromise!!)
Ps. 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart!"
This is very true...you delight in Him and He will bring you the perfect man...even if it is your boyfriend.
2007-10-02 19:39:29 · answer #1 · answered by jhg 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hoooo boy. I don't even know where to start.
If you feel he isn't the right person for you, then by all means, DO NOT marry him. If you can't handle a breakup (which is how most relationships eventually wind up), then you are not ready to date / be engaged, let alone be married.
God has almost nothing to do with it. It's more a matter of finding a partner who "fits" with you (and you will just know it, when you meet this person). Be patient, and keep your eyes open. Meet more people. Get more experience with dating the opposite sex (at least 30 guys, or so). Then, and *only* then, you can consider something serious with one of them.
There are plenty of married people who are perfectly miserable, in divorce court, and fighting over who has the kids which weekend, and for how long, and how he's a scumbag for this and she's a witch for doing that, etc.
Please, please, PLEASE do not join their ranks.
2007-10-02 19:42:10 · answer #2 · answered by Marc M 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What's the rush??? Marriage is a big deal and I would be a little suspicious of any man that wants to get married so quickly, esp. after only 5 months. (Like con artists or guys looking for a green card!) And you're having doubts....so why even think twice about it, you already know the answer. You don't necessarily have to break up with him, and as far as you "wasting his time"...let HIM decide that. Time is all you have anyways, I think you should just get to know each other and if you're still together after two years, then talk about marriage.
2007-10-02 19:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by L.A. Angel 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
God gave us free will to make our own decisions in life. Using God as a crutch and expecting Him to make all our decisions for us is a pretty sad way to live.
I think it is time you tried to think for yourself. You say you have a constant feeling he is not right for you. Well guess what, that's all you need to know. You say he wants to get engaged, and he wants you to marry next year. It is obvious you don't.
Settling for this person who you have only known for five months seems like a pretty big mistake. Getting engaged to someone after six months, especially given your feelings, seems like another mistake.
Take responsibilities for your own actions. God is not there to make every little decision in life for you. Nor is He there to use as an excuse for decisions you have made.
I think you know what you need to do.
2007-10-02 19:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by ZCT 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ummm 5 months is little quick to be deciding if you wanna get married. If i believed in god i would say he would want you to wait this one out a little longer and act like a mature adult. If you want to stay with him then give it a little while. If you aren't happy with him then just end it and realize there are more fish in the sea... and plenty of "potential hubbies" as you put it.
2007-10-02 19:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
As far as I know the only thing you should not do is get to intimate with each other.The time you spend engaged is not important. The problems staying together long term and religiously any religion is devastating, if things go wrong.
2007-10-02 19:50:38 · answer #6 · answered by Robert T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
read the bible about marriage, once ur married, the only grounds for divorce are adultery, or physical abuse, like if he's always beating you , those are the only godly grounds for divorce so if ur gonna get married, make sure you don't have any doubts. if you dont think hes the guy for you, talk to him, people change for the ones they love, if he really loves you, that should matter more than most things. maybe this advice will actually help someone.
2007-10-02 19:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by blue-a-touille 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First thing I would do is pray to God and maybe seek some guidance from your pastor. Look at all the attributes he has and see if they are what you're looking for. Search your heart and see what your feelings are for him. Then maybe you two should give it more time to date to make sure of your feelings.
I do wish God's blessing and guidance on you.
2007-10-02 19:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by sweetone 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Go sit and have some quiet time with God. Ask him to give you the courage to make the right choice. But always remember God gives his signs to you through your heart so always follow you re heart not your head!
2007-10-02 19:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all I don't understand what God has to do with your problem - this man will be your husband, not Gods! If you are not sure you want to commit to him then don't but do not be so mercenary as to consider this poor guy as a meal ticket beyond everything else. Be fair to him - if you don't want him because of your beliefs give him a chance to find happiness with someone who will appreciate him for who he is.
2007-10-02 19:38:44 · answer #10 · answered by alex s 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋