This doesn't seem to be just a teen - family blow up and she is not at home presently. Her mother knows and blames her so talking to her mom isn't going to be helpful. That being said...The girl does not want to go home but if she won't tell the police what help is available to her? Is there a safe place this kid can go long term? I know that I can report this to Childrens Services but I really believe that is not going to help because she refuses to tell on the s.o.b. There have been previous reports to Childrens Services of a suspected a problem between the girl and her step father. Childrens Services has been to the home and done nothing every time. Anyone have any suggestions? This girl really needs help. The person she is staying with can't keep her for more than a week due to the apartments policies on visitors. I do not want to see this kid go back to that home but I'm not able to take her in long term either. How can I help her?
2007-10-02 18:51:56 · 16 answers · asked by CM 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow, this was so ironic that I just read this considering the question that I just posted above it about my own father. I think that you should sit her down and let her read my question and explain to her that this will stay with her, her entire life, she will never trust anyone ever again. She will have problems in her own personal intimate relationships with her husband down the line, she will never trust anyone around her children and she has to understand that she is the only one that can make this stop. And trust me running from it will never make the hurt go away. For the simple fact that he took her innocence. She has to make a stand for herself and say no more. Let her know that the police are the best way to go and that child services is the best ansewer, I know she is scared about what will happen to her, but at some point if she doesn't stand up for herself now, she will always be someone people can and will take for granted, explain to her that she is worth more than just letting him destroy her for the rest of her life. My dad was also my step dad and my mom didn't believe me either, and I know now at 29 yrs. old, with two kids of my own that I should've nailed his *** to the wall. Tell her to think about when she has children of her own, would she want them to go through the same thing and nothing ever come of it? Oh, and from personal experience childrens services is a joke until you hold them accountable and nail their asses to the wall as well, they seem to stop passing th buck! Tell her my heart is with her and be strong, beleive in herself and dont ever back down from anyone, espescially a piece of crap like him.
2007-10-02 19:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by Tressa Mae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, are you absolutely certain she's telling you the truth? Does she exaggerate a lot? Do you know either the mother or the step-father? If you believe your friend, then I agree with Blizzard. I can't tell if you're the same age or so as your friend. If so, it would be better to go to an adult that can be trusted, who is also well-versed in what to do in this type of situation. They'll be in a better position to know what's available out there, as far as a place to stay for your friend, as well as psychiatric/counseling services, legal options, etc. And even if Social Services or Children's Services or the police are told & your friend still doesn't want to press charges or speak to them, at least it will show up in several records that a complaint against this guy has been brought up (police records, her school record, & Children's Services). They'll keep an eye on him, even if it's only from a distance. And just because she's telling you she won't talk to the police, they may be able to convince her otherwise because they know more about this than either of you. Also, are there any younger children in the household? If so, they need to be protected. Even if she's lucky enough to get out of such an ugly situation, they might not be. That's definitely something that has to be addressed.
And you or whoever else is trying to help, be aware that it's possible that you could be held legally liable for housing her, without her parent's knowledge or consent.
2007-10-02 19:25:59 · answer #2 · answered by lilacsandviolets1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe explain that she should see a doctor for testing and such, STD's... after a doctor checks her and makes a medical report a paper trail is then started so then if she changes her mind later there are still records. Some doctors will notify the authorities on sexual abuse. But if she is that hesitant, is it really happening, or is it some perverse way to avoid the step parents authority. Ive seen that happen. If she doesn't want to get help id push her and her troubles out my door. Tell her if you want my help, then take action, otherwise throw your pitty party elsewhere.
2007-10-02 19:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by ca_ruff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children's services would need some evidence in order to take any action but now that she is not living at home they may be able to help. The girl may not want to tell the police since her mother is still with the husband and could be charged along with him. Is there any chance she could move in with her father?
In any event, you should talk to children's services and tell them what you are telling us here.
2007-10-02 19:02:22 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first i would like to say that after reading some of the answers on here i'm a little shocked at how many of you think a 16 year old girl who was abused by a trusted authority figure should have the maturity and presence of mind to just deal with it.
that being said... most doctors, teachers, etc are bound by law to report cases of abuse... so you can either take her to one of these and let the powers that be take over or tell yourself. she needs help and isnt going to get it by not telling. and in some states, letting a minor stay with you can be harboring a runaway if her parents decide to report it.
some areas have free counseling... you might want to try your local planned parenthood.
good luck to you and her.
2007-10-02 19:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by hi_poptart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll never be free unless she has the person charged.
It will stay with her her whole life.
It never just dissapears out of your mind.
She's 16 which is mature enough to stand up to this person no matter what happens.
There are help accommodation refuges that will take her in and that will also help her through the charging process.
Get someone to go with her to the police. They fully understand the difficulty people face.
This person will do it again and again and its a never ending cycle that needs to be stopped. She'll never be free of it unless she brings it into the open.
2007-10-02 18:59:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police for her. Call social services again. It is in her best interest whether she likes it or not and those are really the only people to help. You may also look into a battered womans shelter in your area. Talk to some one there and see what advice they have and recommend.
2007-10-02 18:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i dont know about you but i will tgalk to her and convince her to go live (i.e. doctor phill, oprah, tyra, etc...)you can also report it yourself but that might upset her. if she has any other friends you can convince her to stay with them if she realy trusts them. in my point of view i prefer that you force her to tell the media or the police and threaten her that if she doesnt talk now, she will get raiped again by her step father or maybe her boyfriend that she trusts. also tell her about all the danger she will be in if she doesnt report the abuse know and make her step father feel the disaster that he caused to a girl 2 years older than me. that man must pay and he must pay bad. if she reports it i think he will get 30-60 years in prison or maybe even life because of this major crime. if not i dont have any other solutions so i am very sorry and good luck
2007-10-02 19:14:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not like you at first for doing this, but YOU need to take the reigns & look out for this girl since there's no one else who is willing to give a care. BLESS YOU for keeping her safe!! Whatever you do, don't let her go back into that situation!! She is still a minor & needs you to help her overcome her fear of telling what happened to the right authorities. Child abuse/neglect hotline : 800-422-4453, Domestic violence hotline: 800-799-7233.
2007-10-02 19:02:47 · answer #9 · answered by Indi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may, yet you danger the prospect that the police will see this as being uncooperative and could take extra action. i'm happy you confirmed adequate easy sense to cease and save your self from extra problems. i hit upon it stressful to understand the strategies-set you have in direction of the police. i understand you probable do not see it this way, yet they do positioned their lives on the line every day for the electorate of your community. Being a cop is a thankless interest.
2016-10-20 21:07:33 · answer #10 · answered by blide 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋