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My child has 2 severe food allergies. I am really concerned about how this is going to affect her as she gets older. Example: Birthday party. We didn't go because there were peanuts on the tables as a decoration and they were being eaten by adults and children at the party. The issue for her is the peanut dust that is in the air when they are being eaten (which is why many airlines no longer serve peanuts on flights). So, we skipped the party. My guess based on the severity of her allergy is that I would have been shocked if she would have made it through the night without a reaction.
Why am I paniced? Because I am noticing that people continue on with their plans, even if it excludes us. In all instances, it would be very easy to make small changes to accomidate her, but it doesn't happen and so we skip out on the event. It has gotten to the point where it is hurtful & feels like she/we are not accepted.
What do you think? Please be honest!!
Thank you!

2007-10-02 17:00:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

15 answers

When you get an invitation to a party usually theres a request to rsvp. When you call to let them know your child will be attending bring into conversation that shes allergic to nuts and ask if they plan on putting nuts out for other party goers. If they say no then great! If they say yes then you know its not a safe place and tell them that your afraid you cant take the risk of her health but let them know that their son/daughter is welcome to come over for a sleepover sometime that way your daughter doesn't miss celebrating with her friend. Even if its at a different time and location.
I think that if you inform them of her allergy while talking directly to them they will do their best to fix the situation but remind them before every event. You cant expect them to always remember.

2007-10-02 17:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley Oasis 3 · 0 0

I have a peanut allergy but it is class 2, so a low chance of me having a life-threatening reaction. We have peanut containing foods in the house, but we do not have actual peanuts. My reaction is worse when someone cuts/opens a peanut. My grandmother even tried giving me peanut butter when I was 7! I guess I wasn't diagnosed with it then though. I am also allergic to penicillin which is hard to avoid since I would have to check the bread for any mould traces. The best way is to put the bread straight back in the freezer. It may lower quality eventually, but it stops the mould growth. I don't have a milk allergy, I have lactose intolerance so I have soya milk only nowadays. I used to get very ill when I was a teenager because of this. If I had wheat and milk together, I would get extremely sick. Apparently I have a wheat allergy at class 1 (barely perceivable apparently!), but my mum says I may have IBS instead. Sometimes I would put normal milk in my drinks by accident, but it didn't have a bad effect until a few times of doing this. It was if I kept having milk (even skimmed) that I would have an allergic reaction. I even got eczema. Now my mum has soya as well, so we avoid that milk issue. My mum had a terrible allergy as a child/teenager and they tested her to find out what was wrong. She would produce mucus in her stomach because of this. The doctors put her on a high fibre diet because they thought it was dairy intolerance (and red-meat intolerance, somehow). She was allergic to wheat though, so she ended up worse. This was in the 70s though, so I guess diagnosis and avoidance techniques have improved now (my mum used to just make me have the food :(. I had an aversion to peanut butter and penicillin from a young age so I guess my allergy is the reason why). My hayfever is worse than all of this I wrote above though, if I have honey during the hayfever season; my mouth gets itchy and sore. I do have bad hayfever and this is difficult to avoid too (especially as my medications don't work very well). If someone in the house has a severe allergy it is the BEST option to get all of the things they are allergic to out of the house. Then they will be safe, at least at home.

2016-04-07 01:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Actually, I'm surprised that anyone has peanuts at a child's party these days. You can't expect aquaintances to change their plans, but I would think it a small thing for relatives and good friends to skip the peanuts. I always do my best to accomodate people's allergies, but then, I have manners :) Whenever you refuse an invitation for allergenic reasons, say so and also say you'd be delighted to come if nuts weren't served. I must assume that people still aren't aware of the serious reactions people can have.

2007-10-02 17:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie_0801 6 · 0 0

Most kids have peanut allergies but grow out of them I would hope this would be her case. Now for why people could not make a small change i don't know I would have if all it meant was not serving peanuts. Maybe it is a show of who really are your friends and sometime is not most of the time people are just oblivious no matter what you say they may not think hey i can not serve peanuts and tehn she can come. Good luck there a plenty more events that I am sure she will go to.

2007-10-02 17:14:10 · answer #4 · answered by Kristi S 3 · 0 1

I think it's a little hard to expect everyone to think of your child when planning things. I am so sorry your child has such a severe allergy. My bf's little cousin is allergic to eggs, peanuts and milk (imagine!) and his mom brings something for him everywhere they go.
People can't stop making their own plans because of your child though. I think the severity of your childs allergy is very hard to deal with, but thank goodness it's only peanuts. Maybe you could let people know simple things they can do? I'm not sure what you could do. You can't force others to do things though, if they want to they will. Does everyone know about her severe allergy and how bad it really is?

2007-10-02 17:09:15 · answer #5 · answered by paperpenandtea 5 · 2 0

i feel your concern my son has a nut allergy. boy is it hard for kids to understand. we have started teaching others about allergies because it's not only our child like this. we have asked the schools, sports teams, church, and family/friends to try to keep it things nut free. they have responded wonderfully. is it was a battle at first. (by family the most) because others don't think about these things unless and once you example it most are ok. but their are some that are just mean and don't care , but you would be suprised of the people that care. if you have tried is then some poeple you can't help and you wouldn't /shouldn't want to be around them.keep on battling this for child, she deserve a safe world. your school has stopped serving nuts on their menu. this is one step in the right way! good luck

2007-10-02 17:28:00 · answer #6 · answered by rachel r 2 · 0 0

Sorry, but this is something that she is going to have to get used to. My son plays soccer and his snack day is coming up and I made sure to find out if there were any food allergies because what I am making has nuts in them, but as far as parties there are so many different food allergies that they cannot accomodate everyone. Your daughter will have to learn to ask if there are nuts in foods at parties before she eats them.

2007-10-02 17:13:03 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1 0

I think that in a case like your daughters that her friends parents should be more than willing to accomodate. It's not really that difficult. I think a lot of people just don't think about other people's allergies/food restrictions. Sometimes a gentle reminder is needed. Coming from a family full of allergic people I know that it can be very difficult and sometimes you just have to avoid certain situations.

2007-10-02 17:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by matty.. 4 · 0 0

I know many families who homeschool because of issues like this. It allows the parents to control the environment more because you are dealing with parents who are more likely to be compassionate instead of being in a rush to do what they were going to do before you "interrupted." I know we have a little girl in my 4yo daughter's ballet class who has severe peanut allergies and they have asked us not to give them PB sandwiches on the day of classes and also to wash their hands before class just in case. All of us have complied with that and have even approached the mom to make sure we were doing enough. I know when the class party takes place in December we will all need to plan based on her needs, what to bring. We've all talked about that already. Maybe it is just a problem of the parents around you not caring for others.

2007-10-02 17:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by GrowingMama 3 · 1 1

To be perfectly honest (this may seem harsh but is not intended to be)......why should my child suffer or do without because your child has a severe allergy? Is it fair that my child can't have peanuts at school because one kid may have an allergic reaction? Is it a little selfish of you to feel that way? With that said, my daughter has a friend who is severely allergic to tree nuts. So, yes, we do try to accommodate to her needs when having parties. And her parents send her epi pen just in case. BUT, if my daughter wanted to have cashews at her party and it was important to her, I would either not invite her friend or would warn her friends parents. Just as your child comes first to you, other people's children come first to them.

2007-10-02 17:48:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

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