My 14 month old sleeps in bed with me?

Question

lately he has been waking up for hours at a time... I get such conflicting advice. Should I put him in a crib in his own room?

Answer 1

My son used to that so I moved his crib into my room, and that helped. I guess he felt lonely in his room, because once his crib was inside of my bedroom I didn't have that problem as often as I did before. I also tried talking to him when he'd wake up crying, I'd let him know that I was there and that it was all OK. After hearing my voice he'd go back to sleep. You should try it, I hope that it also works for you.

Answer 2

I also think this should be your choice, for your reasons, whatever is best for you and your son and the rest of your family, WITHOUT judgment from everyone else.

That said, the things I wanted to add to the mix are:
- This is the age my son (16 months now) started getting REALLY active. He would wake up and want to play, because it was such fun walking etc. and doing all those active things. This may be the case with your son. If so, it's easier to deal with if he's in a confined space. That way he can self-comfort himself back to sleep (with your assistance, NOT suggesting you let him cry it out at all), learn when it's time to sleep, let you all rest easier, etc.
- 14 months is NOT necessarily reaching the end of crib time. It depends on the type and safety of your crib and your child. Some children are in cribs until the age of three or so and are just fine. Some kids try to climb out, some don't - you'd have to try it with supervision to see. Mine doesn't try to climb out yet, and the crib rail is still very high on him, high enough for us to feel pretty safe about it. If he shows any attempt at all to climb, we will move him to a toddler bed.
- I would have loved to try co-sleeping, but it didn't work for us. My husby is a very active sleeper - not safe for a baby/toddler. Our son is also very active - not safe for him either; it only takes a split second to fall off the bed while we're still asleep or half asleep. You can also have his bed in your room as an intermediate measure if that works better for all of you. That said, if you don't have concerns about his safety in bed with you, go with what your Mommy gut is telling you and who cares about anyone else but your family. If you are choosing the best for your own situation and family, you won't have problems getting him to sleep in his room when it's time - you will plan it out ahead of time, and do it when you are both ready to do so. In my experience it's the parents who don't plan for this or ignore warning signs their child's ready for their own room, that have the difficulties.

Good luck! (:

Answer 3

This is harder to do than you think. It may be harder on you than him. I have three kids that have a total of about 40 hrs sleeping in a crib.At 14 months he is almost too big for a conventional crib. The standard crib is easy-er on your back however if you have a child that's can stand cribs suck. Like a small jail that they can climb over the wall then its a long way to the floor. Try a Grace portable crib in your room this gives some ease of you making sure he stays in bed.
Make sure not to put toys and crap in the portable crib or we can call this a padded cell. In a couple more months you will need to get a youth bed. It will be hard to get him to sleep from the start in his own bed. After he falls asleep in the portable crib make sure he ends up in his bed in his room.
Make sure he helps put his youth bed together this will help him to want to use it. Make sure you stop letting him in your bed. If not the next full night sleep your going to get will be about the time he goes to school. The other thing I fear is falling asleep and suffocating my own child.
good luck

Answer 4

It's up to you and what works for your family. My 18 month old still sleeps with me and we are trying to get her used to a toddler bed but there will be no rush to get her in to it. It works well for me and her and my husband, but some peopleit doesn't work for. Whatever you do dno't change what you do solely based on people harassing you or saying it's wrong. You are the parent and you get to decide,... not friends, family, in laws, or strangers....

If he's waking up for hours at night - what difference would that be in a crib except that you have to get up out of your bed to go check on him? Try to figure uot why he's awake at night instead of changing things first. Is he still taking 2 naps during the day? My daughter cut back to one around that time. Is he taking naps that are too long (like 3+ hours)? Or how about food before bed? Could it be upsetting his stomach? Do you have a reliable bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth and get pj's on, read a book.. or whatever works for you)?

Good luck.
and to neil above - If you were my husband I would be kicking your butt to the couch for a loooooong time for ever daring to take my child out of my arms just because you decide it's the right time for a crib. Parents should make these decisions together and who are you to make that choice alone? other then a jerk. This woman's child is not the first todler to sleep with her parent and she won't be the last, but it's not like he will be there forever, cause sooner or later the kid will want their own room, so who are you to judge?

Answer 5

Don't worry my son is also 14 months old and he sleeps with us seance the first day he was born, he only sleeps in hes crib at day time for a short nap, we enjoy sleeping with him if you do don't worry about what everyone says is your son and if you want to sleep with him do it. We think is so nice for the 3 of us waking up together we love it is awesome we love our son so no matter what don't do it because you are suppose to do it because you want to do it or your mother instinct tells you to trust me, now we are train to move our son from the bed but because we want him to be more independent seance an early age as much as we love him we decided we have to so we are going to move his crib to our bedroom and ones he gets use to it he will be sleeping in hes toddler bed in hes room hope this help and God Bless!!

Answer 6

I think you should put him in his crib in his own room, but sit in a chair next to the crib until he falls back asleep. Getting into the habit of allowing him to sleep with you in your bed all the time, will be a far harder habit to break as he gets older and "wiser".

Answer 7

that's what we do, my son is 15 months. i'm getting him very drowsy the two by using rocking or basically snuggling on the sofa, then I lay him in his crib. If he fusses, I rub his abdomen or back, reckoning on how he makes a decision he's going to sleep, and tell him its ok. As he starts to doze off, I back faraway from the crib a pair steps. If he wakes, I enable him understand i'm there yet that he needs to flow nighttime nighttime. steadily this technique takes much less and much less time and there will be much less and much less tears. Its no longer particularly the cry it out approach and it style of feels to artwork for us. If he cries for greater effective than a pair minutes, I usually p.c.. him up and love on him, yet I enable him cry somewhat and love on him, yet i do no longer p.c.. him up usually. reliable success

Answer 8

Putting them in the their own room (and insisting that it stay that way unless they're sick or there's a thunderstorm or something) is what always worked best for us. For our first child, we had let him get used to coming into our room at night but it disturbed everyone's sleep for significant portions of the night. It took just a few nights of putting him back in the room (as SOON as he came in to ours) to get him out of the habit.

And I would guess that he's getting up for a few hours at a time because he's getting a reward from it...the interaction or reaction.

Best of luck! I know it's hard to figure out what's right.

Answer 9

Yes, put him in his room! This is coming from a mother who still has her 4 yr old daughter in her bed & I'm married. We are working on this issue now but I wish I never started this habit. I know it's hard when he cries but just stay in his room until he falls asleep.

Answer 10

yes and 14 months ago. the longer you wait the worse it will be . you are going to have to be consistent and do it now. I recommend this since you waited so long.
put crib in your room, let him play in it during day here and there to get used to it. then give him a blankie and his bottle and tell him goodnight and then lay in your bed, you will know he is fine and pretend you are sleeping and then be prepared for a possible full blown fit. once it is over it will get better every night. Then when he is real comfie in his crib... down the hall and repeat process... should be mild by then.