she also blames me for running over her cat (paranoid), and her mother hates me. her dad told me "hey look dude, if you want her you can have her". she's also funny, smart, and beautiful. what should I do? Cool it?
2007-10-02 16:28:26 · 49 answers · asked by paris 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
haha, this has to be a joke.
2007-10-02 16:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ali 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She's funny alright. Smart? That's a relative term in her case. Beautiful? Dime a dozen. Then again, I live in L. A.
Her dad sounds like a real charmer, and don't feel bad about her mom hating you. She probably hates the old man too... and her daughter...and herself.
Ignore these peripherals. At this point you have other issues that far outweigh her dysfunctional family.
Do YOU smoke pot? Do YOU get drunk? Do YOU ignore stop signs, red lights, etc? I don't know. You do. There are those guys who seem to be fixated on the "perfect woman" thing. Females are supposed to be pristine. It's ok for men to be a** h***... it's a guy thing, ie. "I can do what I feel like, but you need to act like like a woman should" That doesn't work so well anymore.
Do you ever talk to her about her actions and how they and concern you, or is asking this question online your best shot at figuring it out? I'd bet that it is.
Also, I can't help but notice that you haven't mentioned anything about love, commitment, responsibility or anything else related to the emotional component of relationships that mean something. Pretty important stuff. You didn't even touch it. Sounds like you might just be f**k buddies, and your demanding a perfect one, which is setting your expectations a bit high for that arena.
On the other hand, if I'm wrong, and your this sweet perfect guy, innocent as the day is long, and share none of her bad habits, what the f**k are you doing with her? There are countless women who would love to find such a rare catch. Because she's beautiful? Dumb reason.
"Cool it"? That's a great tipoff that maybe your "not that much into her" :)
2007-10-02 17:25:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smokes Pot and gets drunk - nagging her will not help anything. If it is really important to you, just tell her. Find other things to occupy her time. Like going to a nice dinner or a picnic. Get her mind off of the party times and show her how much she can enjoy just being with you. As far as the stop signs and red lights go. That is simple tell her that if she isnt worried about her own life she should be worried about others safety. Here are some links that you can show her. Not really sure what you are talking about cuts. Is she cutting herself. If she is take her to a hospital. Good luck man.
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=835257&fr=yfp-t-501
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/268657/what_happens_when_you_run_a_red_light/
2007-10-02 16:43:00 · answer #3 · answered by Heather B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always wonder if question of this type is a serious one, but since I don't have any other information, I will just assume it is.
It is obvious that she comes with many problems. There are probably many more surprises as well as many more hidden good/talents. If you are willing and capable of handling her bad points, guide her out of her bad habbits and accept some that can't be helped, then this is no different than anyone else you might meet. On the other hand, if her problems are more than you can handle, then the decision is clear. I don't know how long you have been with her, but if it is less than few years, you have just scratched the surface (good and bad).
Bottom line is, it is entirely up to you. Public opinion has no place in your decision.
2007-10-02 16:36:12 · answer #4 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea im sry but thats a little overboard... you need to (as hard as it may seem) get a new gf immediatly before it's to late. This world is filled with beautiful, smart, funny + more people dying to meet a guy like you! Get out of the relationship.... without causing this poor soul to kill herself ...and either focus on your career or in finding a decent human being to consider your girlfriend. Ask yourself the reason why you are evn dating? to find potential wife material... with what you just described would you really have to walk down an isle with someone your not so sure about??!
your better than that , and I dont even no you, but the fact that your seeking help/ advice puts you 20 steps ahead of her..
~good luck!~
*Tabby
2007-10-02 16:37:06 · answer #5 · answered by Tabby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I think you are an awesome guy for caring so much for your girl. It looks like her family does not care about her and it is great that you do. Her behaviour seems to be a bit suicidal and she does not know about it. You must try to talk to her in the most sweets ways to try to find out what is she so upset at. Also, who are the people who she spends more time whith? because sometimes that can also be the case and you must try to get her to avoid those bad relationships even if that means her best friend. However, if she continues her behaviour then you must seek professional help. I know that there are free services where you can report your love one and they can help you for free. Good Luck and God Bless you!
2007-10-02 16:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by LA_Stang_CHIDALGO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she know those things bother you? Talk to her. You seem to like her a lot, don't worry about her mother.. my mom hates my boyfriend and my sister's boyfriend. Certain mothers are that way. You should sit her down and tell her what you like about her, and explain that the person you fell for isn't someone that drinks, smokes pot..ect. If she's not willing to change move on. Talk to her first. Good luck!
2007-10-02 16:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie119 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're better off without a girl like that. Honestly, I don't think her father is very proud of her. Regarding her mother, I cannot say. She must be very possessive about her cat and you could also develop some affection for her pets, but it is not compulsory. However, please do not cool it. Smoking is harmful, not only for her health but also yours. It could also lead to complications during pregnancy (if you eventually decide to marry her). Getting drunk could land her in trouble and traffic violation in fines. She could also end up in prison for drunk driving. You have to get her to sober up or you need to get over her.
2007-10-02 16:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
never get into a car with that irresponsible psycho, unless you want pre-mature death or be caught in public with that drugged up freak as she might lash out at you for being a cat killer and a crowd gathers and not only laughs but collectively shuns you.then embarassment and sorrow because that public incident will cause you to believe that you are a cat killer and subsequent depression, but getting in bed is A-OK! don't get her preggo though or else she'll blame you for making her fat and beat you up.you don't want to become another statistic of boyfriend being beaten to a bloody pulp by beautiful fat girlfriend.
2007-10-03 10:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by polly-pocket 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of her! Do you honestly want to marry and have children with a woman that does these types of things? Not a good situation. Marriage is hard enough when you are with a wonderful person that has there head on straight. She really needs to do a lot of growing up.
2007-10-02 16:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by copswife93 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she needs help. There could be some family problems, beings her father gave her away.
Ask yourself :
"Do you love her?"
"Does she love you?"
"Are you willing to help her get help?"
"And if she refuses are you willing to stand by her tell she realizes that she needs help"
If you are willing to help her try talking to her about seeking professional help, (just don't use the word 'shrink').
You might want to try to keep her busy and around you, so that she'll be less likely to do drugs and hurt herself. If she gets drunk and tries to drive, take the keys from her.
I don't suggest you 'dump' her, your rejection will probably make her much worse.
Whatever you go for Good Luck.
Dr.
2007-10-02 16:56:15 · answer #11 · answered by dr.strangeduck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋