I come from a long line of championship dog breeders. This technique is both proven to bring the betch into estrus/heat and ensure successful semen implantation. Here's what you will need:
1. A can of mild paprika
2. 3 tbspns of Tumeric
3. 1/2 tsp of smelling salts
4/ 2 tbspns of dark cocoa
5. 1 cup of melted red Tiger Balm
6. A bunch of stinging nettle leaves
7. Warming Ky jelly or Astroglide Xtreme
Mix items #1 thru #5 together in a bowl, microwave on high for 3 minutes and then set aside to cool.
With the help of another person, stimulate the betch's vulva and clitoris with the nettles until she becomes hyper-excited (she will attempt to run away or bite you when she reaches the optimum state).
Grab a handful of the aphrodesiac mixture and hold it inside a closed fist. Coat your hand thoroughly with the KY (make sure you're good and slippery) and then massage the mixture first onto the betch's clitoris and then up inside so that you coat the entire uterus and fallopian tubules. Repeat the procedure thrice per day for three consecutive days.
On the fourth day release her to the stud and stand back!
You should try to bring the beetch to climax in the morning before presenting her to the stud. That way she'll be well lubricated and smelling ripe. Betchs respond well to manual clitoral manipulation or electronically accentuated vibratory applications (you can buy a vibrating massage "bug" at your local drugstore for under 10 dollars). Use duct tape to attach the electronic vibrator so that you don't have to hold her during the application (I have four betchs climaxing through that method as I am typing this!).
2007-10-02 16:23:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pets ➔ Dogs
O.K., so I mistyped "breeding" - what else?
2007-10-02 16:28:51 · update #1
The ignorant always scoff at what they don't understand. If you're not going to be serious, then please don't post an "answer."
2007-10-02 16:30:28 · update #2
Except for numbers 4, 5, 6, and 7, we use simliar techniques for making camels and goats to have sex in Dubai.
You are ignorant Americans who know nothing about the real world of raising animals.
2007-10-02 17:10:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mohammed Jazira 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am a freshman at UC Davis in the animal husbandry program. The chemical components in sweet paprika, not the hot kind, tumeric, and ammonium salts are used in the developing world to induce uterine contractions.
In humans, female orgasm serves to force the uterus downward onto a pool of ejeculated semen.
The formula mentioned by this poster, with the exception of the tiger balm and nettles which are extreme irritants, could actually cause uterine contractionsThat is all. The animal would have to have already mated prior to the uterine contractions being induced.
Spanish fly, the real stuff, not that which frat boys can buy in porn shoppes, but the real stuff derived from the beetle - is used in cattle breeding - because it is a vaginal irritant and induces the cow/mare to submit to intercourse.
The guy sounds like a perv - but he may be on to something!
BTW: Animals do derive pleasure from sex. They may not scheme and lie to get it, but it does stimulate the pleasure centers in their cerebral cortexes!
2007-10-02 16:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by Aviva Bernstein 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know this ranks right up there with the BS method I heard about when I worked raising pigs.
Sprinkle cayenne pepper on a sows vulva to make her come into heat. Sprinkle that there and of course she's going to look like she's in heat, her vulva is red and irritated from the pepper. Bet you a hundred bucks that sow won't stand for nothing, and "if" she did, she'd be the first one on the breed back list.
This is equally as stupid. Dogs don't come into heat because you 'get them off'. Dogs don't have "sex" for pleasure. They mate for one reason and one reason only and that is HORMONE driven reproduction. Not some stupid mix of household herbs and a vibrator.
You are one sick pup, and then you wonder why people don't approve of you. WTH.
2007-10-02 16:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by Bindi *dogtrainingbyjess.com* 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, do you have a life?
Is there not a single thing in this world more intelligent to do than this?
If you weren't so pathetic, I'd almost feel sorry for you... how sad that this is the most interesting thing you have to do. Now crawl back to Mommy's basement, watch some porn, and think about how awesome it is that you were able to spend two weeks trying to concoct an elaborate scheme to annoy normal people. And in the morning you can crawl back to your minimum wage excuse for a job and curse yourself for dropping out of elementary school.
2007-10-02 16:57:05 · answer #4 · answered by Dreamer 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you? Just wait for the female to go into heat! This sounds like something a puppy mill would try. Obviously if you need someone to hold the dog it doesn't like it! This is probably a form of animal abuse!
2007-10-03 02:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by tricia49841 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
could be because a) you are full of crap with your "technique" and b) because this is borderline bestiality.
you sir are a pervert, troll, and a bad speller. you obviously know nothing about dog physiology. either that or you have no respect for women. probably both.
2007-10-02 16:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by bob © 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Everything except for the last five.
2007-10-02 17:23:33 · answer #7 · answered by Doggie-Mom Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dog keeps humping people do you think you can come over and give him a HAND J*B
2007-10-02 16:57:22 · answer #8 · answered by Kenny E 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you think you are oh so clever, but you have already posted this at least once as an answer and it was stupid then and it's stupid now.
2007-10-02 16:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because you can't even spell the word "breeding" correctly...
2007-10-02 16:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by KS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋