A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches up to the counter and
says. "Hi.. I'm here to pick up my monthly check." He adds: " You know, I
just HATE drawing welfare checks. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent." We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur
and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of
the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her
on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges.
You'll be provided a two bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting
salary is $90,000 a year.
The guy wide-eyed, says "You're Bullsh**tting me!"
The Social Worker says, "Yeah, well.......You started it."
2007-10-02 15:59:58 · 7 answers · asked by Val 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol...good one....here's one for u
Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!!!
CHeeRioS
2007-10-02 16:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You've got to love a great snappy comeback!
2007-10-02 16:59:53 · answer #2 · answered by rdrnnr1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is racist ur asserting that blacks r the those that use nutrition stamps the main on the grounds that u positioned watermelon grape soda and Kentucky fried fowl ur being stereo time-honored get a lifestyles
2016-12-28 12:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor guy, he was probably just waiting for that type of job!!!
2007-10-02 18:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one
2007-10-02 16:57:26 · answer #5 · answered by The Unshushable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really LMAO this was funny as hell.
2007-10-02 16:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by Sir $liq Rick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmaoo...that was funny...i would KILL to have this job..lol...this was a great joke!...a star for you =)
2007-10-02 16:08:42 · answer #7 · answered by Hy34lif3™ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋