How should I go about handling my depression?

Question

I'm a junior college student and I have been suffering from depression since I was about 13, I believe, which was about the time that my father passed away. My mother passed away this February. I keep denying that this has further perpetuated my depression, but I'm not so sure anymore.Even as I type this I feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that it actually causes a headache.

What I do know is that my grades have fallen significantly this year (65, 70 and 72 on my first exams), I'm forgetting alot, and I'm finding that I'm also misspelling a lot of words. I have been, until now, an honors student. I have always held education to the highest regard, but all the things that have transpired this year have led me to feel like it's just not worth it. I feel like I've just reached my academic threshold and I just can't cut it anymore. I feel like a complete failure.

I do not have much cash or any insurance, so I guess a psychologist is out of the question. I think the only thing I can do is speak with a doctor and just get some medication.

I don't know. Please, help me.........

I don't know about applying for free health care. Isn't that through the government or something? I don't have a green card, so I doubt I will have the door open to me.

Feel a bit hesitant to go to counseling, really. Kinda used to handling problems on my own. This is different, I know, but it's just the way that I think. I would feel much more comfortable getting medication and being done with it.

Answer 1

The loss of your Father was huge and to recently loose your mother is traumatic and can really make you feel all alone. You are grieving your significant losses and it is effecting everything, especially your memory, because it is nearly impossible to be present when your heart and mind are so heavy. You are not a failure, but a survivor and previous honors student! Please check with your local county hospital for no and low cost services as well as your college medical support for local referrals. Be kind and understanding to yourself and get the help you deserve. I also like healthplace.com which is a mental health website and has support communities..check it out and perhaps you can also find some additional support there! Hope this helps!

Answer 2

In the short term, hard exercise will work in a pinch. If you can force yourself, aim to run for at least 40 minutes per day. This almost always helps on a physiological level that soothes the mood.

For the long term, contact the counseling center at your school. They should be able to hook you up with a therapist. Don't take no for an answer. If they can't help you, try to social work or psychiatry department of your local hospital. If you can't afford it apply for free care. Sometimes getting mental health services requires persistence.

Don't beat yourself up too much about school. You're going through a hard time right now.

Good luck!

Answer 3

See if your campus has a counseling center. If there isn't a counseling center call the Dean of Students office. Tell them you are looking for free or low cost counseling services. If that doesn't pan out look for a local agency: in my community Lutheran Social Services has counseling for as little as $5/session.

I also suggest you call the Dean of Studnets office in general and ask if there is anything the school can do to help you out with your acadmic problems. Good luck to you.