did i say the wrong thing to my boyfriend?

Question

i just got off the phone with my boyfriend cause he hung up on me. he said he was stressed about somethings and i wanted to try to help. but he wouldnt tell me anything but he would talk to other people about it. and he wont accept my help at all cause he says he has to much pride.
i told him that makes me feel like i cant help or be talked to, like im not even there; so whats the point of me?
it really kills me when i cant help people that need help but dont want my help and i guess he doesnt understand that.
so did i say the wrong thing? cause now he wont talk to me cause he says i made him feel like sh*t. but all im tring to do is help, and he wont accept it.

i didnt push him at all.
but every time i have something that i dont wana talk about he pushes me to tell him. and it really doesnt seem fare

Answer 1

you said the right thing...he feels like sh**?.....what about how you feel...if he chose to make you his girlfriend he should see you as someone he can talk to about things....so he should see that he's made you feel like sh**!

Answer 2

He is "help rejecting" ....how can you help anyone that isn't willing to disclose enough information that you can offer some insights...you have shown you are supportive.

Just go with his resistance....and say, "You are probably right...I accept the reason you ...give that you have too much pride. I am sorry you are having problems and feel so frustrated." Be kind and caring....as you tell him and then drop it...don't try to push to help him. If he trys to push your buttons more. Just say, I understand you might have some trust issues....I thought about it and understand many people could feel as you do. It sounds significant enough that you probably want more professional and private advice and support....I respect that. There are probably some things I would have to think about who I would feel comfortable sharing them with. (then change the subject).

You did nothing wrong....just keep this by the phone and tell him the above...

Answer 3

Well this guy obviously has to much pride and to him that pride means more than you do which isn't a good thing. If he's telling other people that's just jacked up. You definitely talked to him, but just give him a little bit of space then try and find out why he doesn't mind telling other people instead of you

Answer 4

All I can tell you is to back off! When a guy says he is stressed and you turn it around and make it about you he will get angry. I know you didn't do it on purpose and you were just trying to help but sometimes the best thing you can do is let someone work things out for themselves

Answer 5

um. I dont exactly know for sure. But i think that hes trying to get you to break up with him. That might be the case, it might not be. Im guessing you did talk to him but try to talk to him again. And if you boyfriend is going to cus at you then i would be pretty mad but... Maybe you should talk about whats bothering him. Or ask a friend. thats not really the best thing but if he wont talk i would do that. Goodluck. <3

Answer 6

hi, Zeana. I see that you and your boyfriend have some little misunderstanding. Your problem is that ur boyfriend ignores ur help. (I smell something fishy). So all I can Advice u is that, if u love the guy, understand him. Do some research about the problem of ur boyfriend. Ask some of his close friends were is usually he opens or tell his problem.

If the relation dosent work anymore, remember their are money guys out there. may be he's not the one for u.

thanks, have nice day.

Answer 7

Nah.. u have done absoloutely nothing wrong girl! It aint ur fault.. its his! u havent done anything wrong, u were just tryin 2 help ur bf and there is nufin bad bout that! Tell him 2 build a bridge and learn 2 accept the fact that ur his gf and u should b allowed 2 help.. or ifhe doesnt GET RID OF HIM GIRL!

Answer 8

Sweetie, guys don't talk and express themselves like girls do. Sometimes when guys don't want to talk to their girfriends about their problems, it's because they love them enough not to drag them into it. Especially if it's a difficult situation. If you push him too much to talk to you, that will have an adverse affect and it will push him away instead. Guys don't like to be pushed to talk about things they are not ready to express. So respect that, and back off from it ok. If he talks with others about this, that's ok. Sometimes depending on the situation, we pick and choose who we want to talk about it with. A person can be good and helpful with one situation, while another is good with something else. It's like if you have a sister and you have guy problems, and you were close to her, you would go to her and talk to her right? But if you have a brother and you have car troubles, or if a guy is harrassing you, you would go to your brother right? It's ok to go to someone else for help. I know you love him and want to be there for him for everything, but he doesn't want to talk about it with you right now. And that's ok. If it's something bad, then just know that he is talking with someone and that is a good thing. OK? I hope this all made sense. Chin up girly. Everything will be ok.

Answer 9

He has problems with speaking. I incredibly have the comparable concern with mine. some men are like that. It has no longer something to do with the way he feels for you, he has an elementary opinion and he thinks that's what you prefer. you have talked to him approximately it and if no longer something has replaced then you definitely the two settle for him for who he's and what he's approximately or you enable him go in case you are able to no longer cope with it anymore. It sucks, i know, yet that's in basic terms the way it is going specifically circumstances. you are able to no longer substitute who he's, as much as you prefer to. some men in basic terms won't substitute because of the fact they are disturbing of it, or obdurate approximately it, or they in basic terms don't experience that they ought to alter for every person. it particularly is going to be a harsh lesson for him to learn interior the destiny. in case you enable him know which you in basic terms can't take it anymore and you're prepared to go away because of the fact of it, perhaps which will smack some experience into him.

Answer 10

No you didn't do the wrong thing you did what was right and if he doesn't understand then you shouldn't be with him o mean really you are just like me theres no dought about that you don't need him you tryed and theres nothing more you can do good luck i hope this helps

Answer 11

Sometimes you just gotta step back and let people figure things out by themselves.


So give your boyfriend some time to clear his head and set his own things straight, as he said he has too much pride to ask for help so let him figure things out on his own. You will just be causing yourself a lot of heartache and pain if you keep on persisting to help and he just keeps on shutting you out.