am seriously scared to death of my husband. He has threatened on more than one occasion to bash my head in, kill me with his bare hands. He has put guns and knives in my face. He has only physically hit me twice. But he has threatened many times. The last time he threatened to bash my head in, he actually took his night stick and swung it and put a hole in our bedroom door. I ran for the phone to call the cops but he took it from me and would not allow me to do so. I recently found out that I am pregnant. He has a daughter by another relationship who is a wonderful father to. I think he'd be a great dad to my child as well, but I don't want my child in that situation. How do I get out? I don't want to ruin his career by going to the police department he works for but I want out, and I don't know how!
2007-10-02 13:31:26 · 14 answers · asked by GreenEyes 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Report this abuse!!! This beast does not need to be a police officer. Just imagine, he is going into other homes where the same thing or something similar is happening and is supposed to protect that woman. Fat chance that is gonna happen.
Besides, no one deserves to be treated in the way you have described, and you now have an unborn child to think about. HE WILL NOT BE A GREAT DAD. One of two things will happen: Your daughter will think some man is supposed to abuse her when she grows, or your son will be a spouse abuser himself. Do you want to be responsible for either?
Get out of there, call a local shelter, or in most communities there is now a Victim/Witness Assistance Office which can help you. It can usually be reached through the District Attorney's office.
THERE IS HELP FOR YOU. You do not have to do this alone, and you need to get out now for your sake and the sake of your unborn child.
2007-10-02 13:54:48 · answer #1 · answered by looneycop 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My dear, do not worry about his career. He isn't. He is breaking the law and if anyone should be concerned about the career, it should be him.
Move out and get your own place, preferably in a security building
Go to a lawyer and file for divorce immediately.
Get a voice activated recorder that you can keep in your pocket but do not let him know what you are doing. After 2 or 3 of his threats/arguments, make a copy of the recording for your records and then take the other copy to Internal Affairs but make sure there are threats on there that they can use against him or the trip is worthless. Make sure you give your copy to someone you can trust and don't let anyone else know who has it.
We do not need officers like this on any department. Many times when they are abusive at home, they also abuse people on the street so do everyone a favor, gather your evidence, get out of there and protect yourself and let the department take care of him.
2007-10-02 23:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he is hitting or abusing you, you need to get out of the situation. Move in with a close relative or a friend while he is not home and can't stop you. Then, call a lawyer and have him/her go through the divorce proceedings. Don't try to rationalize that you're going to stay with him for your child, this man sounds like he would destroy a child rather than give it the love and attention he deserves. Children deserve better than this and so do you. Don't even worry about ruining his career, a man with that kind of violence in his heart should not be a police officer and should be in jail.
2007-10-02 20:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by Joel Y 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to face yourself, and the reason you are in this relationship. Of course you can't stay, because you may be beaten to death---that seems obvious.
But YOU are the only person you can control, and you must see things very clearly.
Cut your losses------let another woman get beaten up, instead of you. Don't waste your time trying to understand, pity, or deny what's going on. What matters is you, and your life or death---it's very simple.
MANY police are physical abusers---his fellow officers will not care at all, and they don't matter to you, anyway. What should matter to you is your life.
Go to your relatives, if you have any, and tell them your husband is beating you---or, get to a woman's shelter, and don't look back.. NEVER be alone in the same place or room or restaurant, or car, etc. with this man again.
2007-10-02 20:47:04 · answer #4 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a police officer I can not believe that you would care about his career. Do you think that we want to work with someone like this? Look at the media. Look at the bad rep one person gives all of us. Look at what this man does to you. You need to do something. Be proactive. Yes it will be hard. You will need evidence of the violence. I hope that it does not take you long enough that the evidence is physical. video tape/ audio tape., whatever. Check local laws first... You need to start documenting the violence. not only for you but for your children and society.
2007-10-03 03:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by wfsgymwear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to a women's shelter, might be best to find one out of the town you live in, since he is a cop he would know where the local shelter's are, and file a complaint against him. Screw ruining his career. He obviously doesn't care if he ruins your life.
2007-10-02 20:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT, NOW! It will only get worse, find a safe place and contact a lawyer. Then talk to his supervisor and anyone else who you think might help from the District Attorney on out. Don't worry about his career. From what you said he needs to lose his shield.
2007-10-03 23:39:04 · answer #7 · answered by jjbetz@swbell.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, piss on his career. If he can do that to someone he professes to love, imagine what he could do to a complete stranger.
His behavior is that of a sociopath. He needs to be in jail and seeking counseling for his behavior.
Leave him before he kills you. When you tell him you are leaving, do it in public and ensure you are recording the event (video or audio).
Be prepared to show evidence of his behavior.
2007-10-02 21:16:09 · answer #8 · answered by California Street Cop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave, after leaving a very detailed note how you will ruin his career, stay out of his reach for as long as it takes.
Confide in a woman police officer details of your case
2007-10-02 21:00:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw his carreer. A psychopath like that has business being a cop. It's only a matter of time until he beats or kills somebody on the job. Wouldn't you feel guilty knowing you could have prevented that?
2007-10-02 22:42:57 · answer #10 · answered by Scott B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋