For the past 4 Christmases we have been getting together with my parents for Christmas Eve, but they are moving too far away to continue this. And we've been getting together with all of my husband's Dad's extended family for Christmas Day dinner. But it really sucks! I talked to my mother-in-law about changing it, but she says she thinks it would offend Grandma and that she wouldn't agree to change anything until she dies. I'm not the only one in the family that has expressed their hatred for the activities planned. But I feel like I'm the only one willing to make waves to get things changed. I decided to send out e-mails to family members to get opinions, but have only received one back which agreed with me. My question is, should I continue to push the issue or just choose not to attend Christmas with them anymore (which my husband has agreed with). I don't want to make my in-laws hate me for having an opinion. But don't want to have anymore sucky Christmases!
2007-10-02 13:23:51 · 9 answers · asked by mommyem 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm dealing a sticky Christmas situation too. Me and my man compromised that we would take turns favoring family traditions. This year we will favor my family, next year we'll favor his, and so on. Luckily our families live in the same city so visiting is easier, but you still have that jealousy issue.
Cause what your saying is that you can't see both families in the same Christmas because they'll be living too far now right? I hope I helped. I'm sorry if I didn't.
2007-10-02 13:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is a time of the year that most families all get together. If you are not happy with the way things are going then change it. Make a suggestion tell her that you would really like to prepare Christmas dinner so that maybe she can enjoy the family more. And see how that goes over. If she isn't in complete agreement explain to her that you would like to honor the family and have Christmas at your house so that she can relax and enjoy the family.
Good Luck to you
2007-10-02 23:05:59 · answer #2 · answered by honeybeeinwv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of clinging to old habits, why not take this time to create some new Christmas traditions? You didn't say if you have children or not, but it might be a good time to just say, "This is how WE, as a family, want to celebrate." Take a trip to visit your parents, or just drop in on the activities for a few minutes. Have friends over for dinner and your own activities.
PS: You know, Grandma might be heartily sick of everything at this point, but is continuing to do it "because everyone loves it and it would really disappoint them." It would be ironic if everyone was tip-toeing around an event that NO ONE wanted!
2007-10-02 20:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have kids? we decided early in our marriage that since we had great memories ourselves as kids of waking up christmas morning in our own homes and having christmas at home with mom, dad, and sibs...we weren't going to spend the holidays dragging the kids on the road. we did it for a few years only. then we decided to tell both families that we can plan extended celebrations on some day prior or after the holiday but that we wouldn't spend christmas traveling or going thru the hassle of trying to have a nice christmas morning only to have to rush to get out the door to make someones dinner. plus, we tell everyone that anybody can come over....it's an open invitation so no one feels obligated. since then both families got the picture and we celebrate on other days with them and several, including grand parents usually make the trip to our house. since then we do make an occasional trip but since it's rare it's a treat now and not a dreaded obligation that ruins our holiday.
2007-10-02 20:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by SpeedyGonz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you don't have to make waves if everyone over at the in-laws' is stuck on this tradition.
You can just drop off presents the day or two before Christmas, and have your own merry little Chirstmas at home.
That way, you are still representing but not mired in suckyness.
2007-10-02 22:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you happen to send one of those e-mails to Grandma? Heck, if she's the reason that your MIL won't agree to a change then she would be the logical FIRST person to check with. If she wants a change too then she has a lot of pull in the family to get that to happen.
2007-10-02 22:13:03 · answer #6 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day you will be a inlaw yourself so dont be to tough because what goes round comes arounds What about to be fair One Christmas your fmily the next one you inlaws
2007-10-02 20:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fight till the end if Christmas comes first then don't attend that is the only other way to make sure that they know you are serious
2007-10-02 20:30:50 · answer #8 · answered by justinjedi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is it you want to change exactly? you don't say what you'd like to do different.
2007-10-02 20:50:09 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋