My heart, it hurts so much.. can anyone please help me?

Question

Basically, I had my heart broken by my first boyfriend. I went through hell, just to be cheated on in the end. Thats over and done with, but the mistakes i've made (sacrificing my morals and values to make him happy) still haunt me ; i'm trying so hard to forgive myself, and turn this into a lesson. On top of that, my 2 best friends betrayed me as well. Our friendship is over, because I refuse to let anyone else take advantage of my kindness again. This all is having a heavy toll on my heart though. Deep down, I still feel greatly hurt and emotionally pained. I want to get back on track and be the girl I once was, who stayed true to herself and to God. Will this ever be possible? Please I need words of encouragement right now =( Thank you so much in advance

Answer 1

Well, this is exactly why God gave us His Son. We can fall on Grace when we fall and because of that, Jesus picks us up and sends us off. It will take time to feel like your old self, but take it each day at a time. Once you asked Jesus for forgiveness, it was given to you. If you still feel guilty ask God to take it from you. Take away the guilt; Let Him know you are not letting yourself forgive and forget and you need Him to force it out. I still think of stuff I did years ago and feel guilty about it...but that is Satan reminding you of them. Then I remember a story I heard....Picture yourself standing in front of satan and he has a photo album of pictures of every sin you did. "Remember that, yeah you did that." "Oh and how can anyone forgive you for that," he says. He goes on asking you if you think you could be forgiven for this or that. As he flips the page, blood starts running down the pictures and he is a little confused and drops the pictures. You pick it up and see all the pictures covered in blood and you hear a voice. It was not heard but felt and it said, "It has been forgiven."
I had an issue with guilt and a lot of teens in my church deal with guilt all the time.

Answer 2

I'm sorry your feelings this way but you are still a wonderful person. Breaking up with first loves is always the hardest. You may have sacrificed your morals and believes but you learned a great lesson. Now you know that no person besides yourself is worth sacrificing YOUR morals for. Thats why they are your morals. You can't give up your believes to make everyone else happy although you had good intentions. make a promise to yourself that you will never do that again no matter how greatly you feel for someone. That might help you feel a little better. As for your friends, Its sad sometimes but friends come and go especially when we are younger. Its all a part of life. You will get back to your old self when the pain starts to pass.

Answer 3

Focus heavily on yourself right now. It is very important for you to become fully confident in yourself again. As far as the friends and ex-boyfriend go, forget them. People are devious and manipulative and more often than not are trying to find a way to use you. Harsh, but so true.

Learn from this horrible experience and move on. While you may not be the same girl you used to be, you will be more wise and more able to tell the different between a true friend and someone else. Just be careful not to set up too many walls or you might become cynical and bitter. Spend some time by yourself doing things that YOU enjoy. Read a book, see a concert, watch tons of movies, bake something just for yourself. Indulge in just being you. Seriously. And everytime you start to think about those people who have hurt you - allow yourself to for a brief minute and then tell yourself, "Okay, enough of that." and do something for yourself.

I took up working out and it was amazing at the motivation it gave me. Everytime I started drifting to people who betrayed me...I would go for a walk or hit the gym. Not only did I get in excellent shape, but I soon very quickly forgot all about their pathetic problems and need for attention.

Good luck and just remember that while it does take time to get over things and move on, it does happen.

Answer 4

oh don't worry... ;)

We usually (or at least... me personally,..) go through this. Where we're so excited we have a bf,...a first bf. And we let him talk us into things.

I remember my first bf. He made me do the most stupidest things. haha.. =)

But, I got over it. 9 months later............
I had to go through depression, and had sucidal thoughts.

I don't anymore, thank god!!!!

And, I really wanna say this to you. I'm glad you recognized the mistakes you made. And, don't worry about it.... just make sure you won't do it again. ALWAYS keep your morals and values, and find a guy who will ACCEPT and APPRECIATE those morals and values. Just ignore him, and move on with your life. Don't take 9 months like I did. Worst time ever.....=/.

Because honestly, a guy who cheats on you is not worth crying over, and isn't worth making you feel like crap.

So..go out and have fun or something!!! I can see you need it. lol.

About the best friends thing.........obviously they weren't ever your best friends. Best friends don't betray each other. And if you guys were really good friends, then.........you could have fogiven each other, and move on.

It's good that you experienced this whole situation. I went through it. the exact same way you did!! (really odd... lol). And, I learned A WHOLE LOT FROM IT. I had the same knowledge as someone who's been in 9 relationships. ;)

e-mail me if you wanna talk... =)

Answer 5

You will be fine it suxs you hit a rough patch it happens to everyone you believe in god well they say god does not give you more than you can handle at one time obviously he must have high thoughts of you because that is alot to handle at once in regard to your bf cheating on you, it was a mistake you may have sacrificed some of your morals for him but you did what anyone else does when they care about someone now you can find someone you dont have to do that for, your friends they were obviously not your best friends so forget them, all these people were holding you back and now they are out of your way move forward and have beome that person you knwo you can be

Answer 6

I know how you feel. It takes time to get over betrayal. You just have to keep your mind off of it. Confide in a close friend or family member. Ive had my heart broken so badly and felt the same guilt. Just dont let yourself get out of control and learn from your mistakes. God forgives. Maybe a visit to church or a prayer will help you feel much better. As far as your friends betraying you, why would they do that? Find friends like yourself who you can trust. My best friend of 10yrs took advantage of me too and Im so confused as to what to do. But I know i dont need her.

Answer 7

All you can do is heal. Your morals are salvageable - God is merciful. You've got the stories of the adulteress who was about to be stoned before Christ stepped in, the prodigal son...testimonies of teens who returned to abstinence (I don't know how far you went, but I'm assuming the worst) after being sexually active.

Bring your heart back again, center yourself, and when you can be at peace with what you've done and you've moved on sufficiently to see how this experience led you to something better, or taught you a valuable lesson, you'll be ready to give your love freely, and hold your morals to your heart. Don't ever sacrifice something important to you for anyone else...no matter what they say.

Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 8

Of course you can get back on track. Don't let it over take you. Be stronger than it. Walk with a head high don't slouch. Have confidence. It's really up to you to do such a thing. This guy you dated obviously came with a reason. Maybe that reason was to not be so over the top nice with him? You have to have some boundaries. Give it time. Let your heart heal as time goes by. You'll eventually get over it. Maybe in months or even up to a year or two. I'm not saying to become like the biggest b*tch ever. Just don't let so many people walk all over you. Be stronger like I said. And don't let this upsetting thing get in the way. You know you can do it! ^_^

Answer 9

It sounds to me like your on the right track. As for forgiving yourself...you seem to be religous, and if you are then you need to remember that if god/jesus forgives you then how can you not do as they do? surely you don't think you know better than they? I think your going to be fine, you have learned a lesson that many girls don't learn until much later in life if they learn it at all. Just remember that if you let this destroy the kindness in you just so no one can take advantage of it then you become no better than those who hurt you.

Answer 10

Welcome to the real world. Anyone who has lived much at all has been through that. it may not be much comfort to you that you are not the only one out there like that, but it is about all that you can get. Look around and you may find a support group for people like you. We have all been dumped on and have lost friends some where down the line. As one lady said "it will destroy you or temper you." Your choice if it destroys you or you get stronger because of it. Good luck.