how do you tell a girl your not interested without hurting her feelings. Its a lot more complicated.?

Question

This girl is in my grade (high school) and she is previously suicidal and a self mutilator. She is really falling for me even though i make it clear im not interested. She passes me notes in class, she tries to make every "hi" into a conversation and its getting irritating. Im afraid if i say the wrong thing she might relapse into depression. Thanks for the help,

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when i say hi, she tries to jump into a full blown conversation and i have about 5 min to get to one side of the building from the other. Being overly open everybody is also a sign of depression.

Answer 1

Just say somethig like..."I do like you but I don't feel the same connection/chemistry that you do..I'm sorry but I want to be mature about it and be honest...u deserve that much"

Answer 2

You can't help hurting her feelings - she's going to be disappointed no matter what you do, but that's not your fault. All you can do is be a gentleman and try to not cause her any unnecessary pain or embarassment.

Don't depend on hints to get the message through - you need to talk to her directly. Tell her that you think she's a really wonderful person, but you're just not interested in her romantically, and you don't think you ever will be. Tell her you don't want to mislead her or hurt her, and she deserves a guy who can give her what she needs. Also tell her that you know she has a great deal of strength, and that you hope she'll struggle against her depression and not hurt herself over this disappointment.

Then tell a parent or teacher or dean about her depression, suicidal leanings, and self-mutilation. She needs help beofre she seriously hurts herself, and there is nothing you can do to cure her - she needs professional help. Don't feel like you're "snitching" on her - it's for her own safety.

Answer 3

What a mess. When she comes this time, do not let her stay with you. It was not your plan for her to come, so she should have made her own arrangements. Even if she begs, stay firm. When she's in town, make sure you are spending a lot of time with your girlfriend. Maybe if this other girl sees that you are in a solid relationship, she will finally back off. Still, once she goes back home, do not have any further contact with her. Every friendly thing you do gives her the wrong idea. Hope you get out of this!

Answer 4

You can't always do the perfect thing for someone. If you're not interested it's far kinder to just pull her aside, in private of course) and tell her that your interests lie elsewhere. You need not explain yourself any further than that (as it is actually true anyway). I would think this is better than to allow her to continue to pursue you, eventually feeling like a fool when she finds you are definitely NOT interested.

Believe me, if she falls into some kind of mental health hole over an unrealized crush, she will do it over anything and that can hardly be your fault.

Being honest is always best - her feelings are her responsibility - not yours.

Answer 5

Write down what you have said here. Add that you are worried about her but don't feel that you know how to help her. Ask her to talk to her parents or your parents. You sound like a caring person and that is an attactive trait in a person. Add that you that she is ( smart, has a caring nature etc) but be truthful. She also may find friendship helping at an animal shelter. We have several teens that feel better by being in charge of the animals here. Ask her advise about something she is interested in. Good luck

Answer 6

This is something you need to be completely clear about. It sounds like you have been. If she persists in obsessing then it's possible she'll lose all ability to see things rationally and interpret any contact with you as positive contact. If that ever happens you need to quit communicating with her.

You can't take the weight of the world on your shoulders. If she has personal issues all you can do is to be kind but firm. Don't allow her mental instability trap you into doing something you don't want to. The best way for her is for you to be honest and straight forward.

Answer 7

wow that is a little complicated she is someone with very low selfesteem obviously, I mean dont be a dick to her but try to not making yourself so easy to talk to if there is a certain time or peroid she is coming around and talking to you have your friends around and act like you are talking to them. But if you have already told her you are not interested in her like that then all you can do is say it again and tell her you are interested in being her friend I really havent been in this situation before thats the best advice I can give you

Answer 8

You do what Oprah says to do- explain it like this ok?

"Honey, I'm doing you a favor by telling you upfront that I have no interest in you as a friend or romantically. A lot of guys will tell you they love you- truth is, they just want to go to bed with you. I hope you understand- good luck in your life- bye"

You're not being mean you're simply being honest- but phrase it using gentle voice and gentle words

Answer 9

act like you messed with another girl sum where or one day go to school and act really weird to her like try to flirt with her the wrong way. or just say were only aquentances nothing else. Or friends. Or refer her to a guidance counselor behind her back

Answer 10

Better to be straight forward and say she's making you uncomfortable than to lead her on and make things worse down the line. It's hard now, but it will be 10x's harder later on.