He spends a lot of time with his family, which I have no problem with. The issue I do have is that although we agree on a specific time that he will come back home, he is usually 2 or more hours late. Even when I visit his family with him and we set a time to leave, it's the same thing. I recently talked to him about this and told him that when we agree on a time for him to come back, I'd like him to show up so I'm not waiting around forever for him. And that when we go to his mom's house I'd like to leave at a certain time so we don't get home at 1AM (like we have been doing). However, I've talked to him about this before and he still can't seem to make it on time. Whenever I bring this up he gets defensive and says that I need to give him time with his family, even though he already spends like 6-7 hours with them...I feel like I get the latter of his time. I feel like I can't depend on him in this aspect. But I don't feel that this is a valid reason to break up, either. Suggestions?
2007-10-02 10:37:35 · 4 answers · asked by 80schick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No boyfriend is perfect, and him spending time with his family may mean that he is really grounded in family life and will have a good family life with you. It may also mean that he is a mama's boy and he cannot let go of his family and get to the next step that is creating and taking care of a family of his own. You are the only one who can figure out which one he is. If you decide to stick it out, do your own thing when you are at his family's house. See if you can bring your work or school stuff to finish or even do laundry in his mom's laundry room. If you are tired, go to sleep in his old room. Being constantly after him to be on time is going to cause conflict. You can't change him, he has to change himself. Go in two seperate cars and when you are ready to leave - leave. Just say, babe, you know I have that thing to do so I'm going, no hassle no worries. You can take the car and have one of his brothers take him home. The thing is you cannot force him to change, you have to either accept him or dont accept him at all.
2007-10-02 10:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by Melloluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously cant part from his family and you shouldnt try to get him to. He should start leaving a little earlier and earlier every time he goes over. Call him and tell him to come home and that you miss him. Maybe something like that will make him realize that he needs to spend just as much time with you too.
2007-10-02 17:43:56 · answer #2 · answered by solelone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By his actions, he has made it clear that he prefers spending time with his family to spending that same time with you. Find someone that prefers YOU.
2007-10-02 17:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
straight up tell him that it bothers you that much and you wont stand for it.........
if he cant be on time, then have the decency and respect to call.......
its all about respect
2007-10-02 17:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by PRGfUSMC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋