I'm seriously thinking of going to a Sunday service at my local Unitarian Universalist church.....?

Question

What goes on, specifically, at the Sunday service. If I show up, can I just sit in the back and watch without someone coming up and doing the meet-and-greet or trying to sell me on the church? What sort of things are talked about by the minister? What kind of interaction is expected of people in the congregation.

No need to cut and past wikipedia or other sites. I have already reasearched it and get the basic gist of the religion. What I want are details from people who have actually been to a service - give me examples, and anecdotes please.

Much obliged.

To the one who recommended the Methodist church -- what I guess I am looking for is a church with a complex view of God, and an understanding that even in Christianity we do not truly understand God's nature (and can only do our best to try). I want to avoid talking to people who make claims that the Bible (or any other religious book) is to be taken literally in all respects, or that if you don't agree with their interpretation of a book or passage, then you are damned. I am looking to avoid people who make the arrogant claim that they know for a fact the road to salvation AND know for fact that every other road is wrong.

John DA - interesting analogy.

However, if I was God, and I knew that the person who was calling me Myron and slapping me on the back was either misinformed or ignorant of how I wanted to be treated, I would not hold it against him. I would also recognize that my instructions might not be as clear as some people might thing. After all, some people call him God, Lord, Yahweh, Jehovah, (Trinity), the Universal Spirit, and other names as well. And those people often are of the deep and abiding belief that they are treating God right.

Answer 1

Our site answers both of your questions. They are frequent. Our FAQ are in beta testing; the web committee is discussing them. You can see it at:

http://www.stanuu.org/newfaqt.html
(The navigation bar and breadcrumbs will take you to the old FAQ page, so be careful.)

I'm going to paste two Q&A from it because I type slowly.

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Q. Will I be pressured to join or to be saved?

A. No. In fact, people sometimes think we are being aloof because we don't approach our visitors as if we were selling used cars. We'll welcome you at the door. We'll send you our newsletter for a while, if you ask for it. We'd be happy to have you join us, but we won't try to push ourselves onto you. We will never ask you to join on a first visit; we recommend you visit for a couple of months before you consider joining. We'll never pressure you to be saved, either. We don't believe in salvation by grace. That is where the "Universalist" part of "Unitarian-Universalists" comes in. You can read more about our beliefs or a personal anecdote about pressure if you like.
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("Beliefs" and "pressure" are links in the original.)

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Q. What goes on during the worship services?

A. We usually have hymns, readings and a sermon, much like a liberal protestant church. Here is a typical Order of Service if you are curious.
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"Order of Service" in the original links to:
http://www.stanuu.org/oofs.html


The church you are going to should have a couple of sermon topics on its site. We keep about 8 on ours, some past, some up-coming, to give visitors a sense of what we talk about. The biggest complaint I read is that they are more like college lectures than fire and brimstone. The two I gave were not. They had underwear jokes. The ones by our resident rocket scientist were. He talked about interesting stuff, but he writes at a 14th grade level and doesn't dumb things down when he speaks. (He is normal when we go out for pizza and beer after a work day, or at a potluck; something about the podium brings out the professor in him.)

Our minister's sermons vary. We have about 12 of hers and 20 guest sermons on-line if you are REALLY interested. You could just scan the sermon blurbs on the guest sermon and minister sermon pages. Note that our minister and our guest speakers may be better or worse than the ones at the church you are going to.

If their membership committee is on their toes they will greet you. They may offer you a name tag. Be gracious. I had an adult first cousin once removed come to our house for Thanksgiving once. He spent the whole afternoon in the kid's bedroom watching TV, by himself. We thought him an impolite guest. We would have been impolite hosts if we had not greeted him at the door, told him we were glad to see him, and offered him a place at the table. They won't be pushy, but someone will meet and greet you.

If it is a huge church - UU San Francisco seats 600, for instance - you can do exactly what you propose. If it is smaller (Ours seats 80) you'll get greeted. Be gracious about it. Someone may offer you a cup of coffee after the service. Don't growl at them.

All you'll have to do is stand to sing and do the responsive reading, then sit. The minister or lay leader (we have a minister 3 times a month, LL's the rest) will tell you when. The Order of service may have asterisks by the parts where you stand too.

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

I started going to the UU this summer. Yes someone will acknowledge you, but just out of being friendly & make you feel comfortable. They wear name tags & visitors are asked to wear a yellow one so people will say hi to you. There is no pressure at all. UU are a very liberal bunch. & expect curious people to come & sit in the back. The service is an hour. A bell is rung to start, A challis is lit. there is a piano player & sing a few songs. They have a time call joys & sorrows where they pass a mike around & let people talk. The minister may talk about issues like death with dignity or the plight of the homeless vets or even why people are confused as to what the UU represents. The plate is passed. Also It's not always the minister, regular people giving the service. At the end you can hang around & have a donut or just leave. They are non-judgmental of your belief. I am pagan & the first man I talked to was an atheist. See you there!

Answer 3

im an atheist, and i attend a UU church sporadically. personally i go for the great speakers they get. We talk about different philosophies and what unites us as people, no matter what tradition you come from.

its like church, but not. there is no talk of god or anything specifically religious, except in a historical, comparative manner

im sure you can sit in the back and check it out without someone laying a rap on you

the first time i went i was a bit nervous as i hadnt been in a church in years, but now i feel totally comfortable

for me the best part is seeing the children/teenagers being able to make up their own minds about what they think.

there is sort of an anti-confirmation where the 15 year olds come in front of church and give their opinions on religion and spirituality, the last time they had this ceremony there were eight kids and not one said they believed the dogma of any religion. a few said they didnt believe in any gods, and a few said they did not know but would keep exploring their thoughts

i dont know about you but i was told what to believe as a child, its just very refreshing to see kids given that oppurtunity in a religious setting

hope i have helped, you can mail me if you have any other questions, like i said i was a little tenative at first, but the first one i went to was a lecture on the god delusion, the book, so it eased my concerns

Answer 4

I'm a Roman Catholic, but I've visited my local Unitarian Universalist church. I will go back. I enjoyed it, and appreciate their openness. You may see the "lighting of the chalice", which happens at many Unitarian services. There may be music (there is beautiful music at the local UU church) and sometimes, parishioners come forward and share their concerns or joys with the entire congregation. There is sometimes a talk (sermon) by the leader(s) of the congregation, and perhaps other special presentations. I remember one of the ministers talking about a recent Unitarian convention and her experiences there, and also another minister talking about the importance of a sense of community among Unitarians. At one service I attended, prayers were offered for people killed in the war in Iraq. After the service, I was asked to stand and introduce myself to the congregation as a visitor, and I did. I was honest, and said that I was just checking them out. There were some refreshments served after the service, and several people came to talk with me. There was definitely no "hard-sell" of the Unitarian faith, but simply an invitation to come back, if I wanted to.

Answer 5

What is "voting in churches"? Where I'm from the only voting that happens is a matter of who gets on the Parish Council. It's an internal matter that decides who represents the congregation when discussing matters with the pastor. Certainly voting for public office never comes up as a matter of church voting. Churches do not (or at least "should not") influence who votes for political positions in parliament. If you live in an area that does do this, I cannot present similar views, since I have never experienced it. Whatever the case, my brain exploded when attempting to decipher your meaning when you said that a "local atheist extremist activist is trying to make it illegal". What is he/she trying to make illegal? And why is it so wrong? Inquiring minds want to know.

Answer 6

I went to a few services at a UU church a couple of years ago. I thought there was a lot to like about it. The sermons tended to be about life lessons - ways to incorporate more harmony, productivity and positivity into your life and they were totally devoid of all the religious claptrap (judgment, condemnation, arbitrary rules, grovelling and supplication, etc.) In fact, I don't believe the word "god' was ever mentioned. The other people there seemed genuinely kind and friendly and nobody tried to pressure me into anything except grabbing a plate and hitting the potluck table after the service.
I recommend giving it a try.

Answer 7

Churches vary a lot. If you're in a metro area (likely since you want to visit a Unitarian Universalist Church) things are a bit less touchy-feely. The smaller churches are much more eager to greet & meet. Look for a big one if your desire is to just watch & observe. If things are too close, just tell folks you're just there to watch the show... they'll get the hint!

Hope you find what you're looking for. If not, could I interest you in your local Methodist church? :-)

Grace & Peace!

Answer 8

At ours we light the chalice with an inspirational reading, some times religious in some way and sometimes not. We sing a few songs, some times religious, sometimes not, we do a children's story and send them off to class and then the minster (which varies. Ours is pagan and I, as a pagan, am lucky witht hat) does his thing. Sometimes it's spiritual, sometimes it just to make you ask yourself questions. Then we have fellowship after church. Coffee and snacks type thing to hang out and talk. UU is about the search for YOUR truth, what ever truth that may be. We have atheist, pagans, Buddhist, and Christians at our church. I love it.

Answer 9

God is God and God defines the way he wants to be worshiped.

Suppose you knew a person who insisted on calling you Myron and slapping you on the back every time you saw them. You tell them that you like being called by your name and that you would rather they did not slap you on the back. The person didn't care what you wanted, they just kept doing what they wanted.

Would you like to spend a few million years with that person?

God tells us how God would like to be addressed and how God would like to be treated. If we treat God right then we can hang out with God in Heaven.

No matter where you worship make sure you treat God right.

Answer 10

Don't go!
Well perhaps you can as long as you go with
a mind to question how they believe.
Hint: it's a "make sense" religion, but not the truth.