I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BF FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS AND FOR A WHILE NOW I DONT THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ANYMORE...ITS VERY HARD TO THINK OF MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DONT EVEN WANT HIM AROUND MOST OF THE TIME. IM NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM THE WAY I WAS WHEN I WAS 18 AND I FOUND OUT HE WANTS TO PROPOSE...ITS FREAKING ME OUT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO BC HE IS LIVING WITH ME IN MY MOMS HOUSE..HELP
2007-10-02 08:00:25 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People change. Talk to him.#
2007-10-02 08:05:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow that is a tough situation. First you really really need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Four years is a long time, but you shouldn't stay together just becuase you feel obligated too or it's "comfortable" for you. It may be something in your relationship is just lacking. Do you go out on dates? Do you still compliment each other and let each other know how much you appreciate the other? Examine why you don't think you are in love with him and why you fell in love with him in the first place, but if you realize you never really did or there's nothing you can fix, it's time to take at least a break from one another and see what happens. Best of luck!
2007-10-02 08:06:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to take a step back and examine why you fell in love with him to begin with. Something attracted you to him. Is it still there?
Have you changed or has he?
Do you have different opinions on major issues such as children, religion, employment, living situations?
Why after 4 years are you feeling this way? Are you bored or tired of the routine? Were you able to experience dating others before you dated him?
If you are able to think back to the good times or to any good memories write them down.. Write down why they are good. Examine every little detail and try to relive the event.
If after really analyzing everything you feel that you still do love him then maybe you could work things out. You need to sit down and talk to him and have a heart to heart. If your bored, say your bored. Don't criticize or degrade him. When you sit down make it about you, let him know how you feel. Let him know if you think you want to work it out but be honest with him so that he has a fair shot as winning you back.
Then try to be spontaneous more often. Do things together that you've never done with anyone else or before at all. If you go to the same club all of the time or movies a certain night switch it up. Go bowling or to a museum or zoo or bumper cars or batting cages. Get out and get the blood pumping back through your veins so that you can get the sparks going again.
However if you really are done and after analyzing things you don't feel you love him anymore then you need to let him know before he buys a ring (unless its too late). Basically tell him right away. Talk to a trusted friend first (of his maybe) and try to set up a place for him to go. Then sit him down and explain to him your feelings. Honesty hurts much less. Tell him when you started feeling the way you do, what led to it. Tell him its about you, unless he has done something huge to make you feel this way. Listen to that song "big girls don't cry" by fergie.. If that is the way you feel then let him know..
But you really need to do it before he proposes. Either way. It will be less embarrassing and heart breaking not to mention less expensive.
2007-10-02 08:13:49 · answer #3 · answered by junebugbaby83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the way you feel, then trust your instincts. If you really dont want him around you...then thats a problem. Especially if you arent ready to get married, dont say yes.
I've been with my bf for 5 years now (officially this Friday), Im 20 years old, and there would be no way I would marry him right now even though I love him. I've had thoughts exactly like yours, but I stayed with it and dont regrett it at all, I love my boyfriend more than ever. Sometimes theres low times, and we have to overcome them...then others...it just doesnt work out and wont. You really have to look into yourself and determine if you want to be with him for love or because you're used to him.
2007-10-02 08:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by chevalrose 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Youre not doing him any favors by faking that you love him. You should break up with him today and give him a month to find somewhere else to live. Do not sleep in the same room with him or you will send mixed signals. He has a right to be with someone who truly loves him and by staying with him you are wasting his time that he could be looking for a lady who does love him. I know you wouldnt want to keep him from that. He will be sad but if you keep pretending all you will do is mess up both your lives and in 10 years you will be asking the same question.
2007-10-02 08:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should break up with him and try to determine what you really want. While it is difficult to think of your life without him, there will be a lot of things to learn and do and lots of other people to meet. The more you can do when you are young, the better. It will only be uncomfortable for the short time it takes him to move out of your mom's house. (Isn't that awkward, anyway?)
2007-10-02 08:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by sandwest 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont marry this guy if you are feeling like this. You are 22, way too young to know what you want. Break up with him and go experience other people. Get out and date and have fun, you will eventually find someone that you will want to spend the rest of your life with.
2007-10-02 08:03:44 · answer #7 · answered by Mike G 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Aw, sit him down, and talk to him and be honest. My cousin did what you're about to do. Her b/f was gonna propose to her and all... now she regrets ending it with him. You really should consider if this is what you want to do, b/c once you say its over it will be over. I think if anything just tell him you need a little space to clear your head and what not. Or ask your mom for advice =) that's what i'd do.
2007-10-02 08:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is better to do it know than at the engagement party he was goning to suprise you at.
Look why even hurt this man by cintinuing a relationship you know isnt going to last. that is wrong and it would be devestating in the end. talk to him and soon. I hope he isnt a psycho and one of those people who say If I cant have you no one will because that is when you have serious problems.
2007-10-02 08:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I could go back I would have dumped the man that is now my husband. Granted, I did fall back in love and I still love him but I am also having an affair. It's hard to meet someone so young!
2007-10-02 08:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by Colonel Obvious AM 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the most important thing u need to do is figure out fast what ur gonna do. The longer u wait the worsse and just put yourself in his place, how would u want him to handle the situation, in my opinion i wouldnt want anyone with me if they didnt want to be. Tell him asap before he makes a fool of himself proposing.
2007-10-02 08:12:11 · answer #11 · answered by Jessica E 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋